I was so excited to see such a huge response to the Jane, Sally & Mary posts (if you haven’t read them, you can get caught up first by going here & here). I loved feeling like I was having a two way conversation and want to tell all of you who got into the comment thread how much I appreciated getting to hear your thoughts! So we finished with some ideas I had on how to contact our Mary…  Now the next place I want to take this conversation is in finding photog friends. I loved this comment that Morgan left, “On the other side of it all, sometimes I just want a friend that is a photographer. Everyone in my area is so secretive and they don’t really talk to each other. Sometimes I just want to tell them, ‘I don’t want to know how you do everything, I just want someone to talk to that stays up as late as I do, and has the same passion for photography.’ I know it probably sounds dorky, but I’m not sure how much more photography talk my sweet husband can handle. “ It really is amazing what friends in the industry can do for your sanity! Once upon a time, not that long ago I woke up one morning and said, ‘today I will become a photographer’ and nope that’s not much of a stretch…. I didn’t know anyone else who was a photographer – so I stalked – and I stalked gooood. I spent more hours stalking blogs than I did sleeping and as much as I loved absorbing it all. I was still missing a lot. You see I didn’t have the technical know how to emulate. (And I’m not talking about copying an image but I am talking about copying a technique). So as much as I loved looking I didn’t have any of the necessary knowledge to say, ‘Oh they used a wide angle lens and I bet they shot that at a low iso and a really high shutter speed’ or whatever the case. I wanted photographer friends… But who would want to be friends with me? I couldn’t think of anyone so I just stuck to it solo. As much as I loved everything that I was finding and learning, I knew it would be even more fun with a friend to talk things through with!

Teaching my 1st workshop and eating chocolate with 10 amazing new friends!

One reader said it perfectly when she emailed me saying, “I wanted to bring up the point that it is kind of lonely to not have a Mary friend if you are a Mary.  Actually, I don’t consider myself a Mary, but I don’t think I’m a Sally or Jane either.  Perhaps “Susan” would be more fitting.  I am pretty comfortable with where I am at– I am happy with the direction my business is going, feel like I have found my style, and am continuing my education.  Here’s the deal- I have a handful of friends who are interested in photography and they do it for very little money and without much training..  Honestly, I’m not sure if any of these gals could fully operate manually and they don’t really seem too concerned with getting to that point.  That is all fine.  It is not my purpose to fault them for that,  but what I want to point out is that it isn’t a very fulfilling “photography friendship” for me if I am only able to give but not receive. Sooo…. I guess I’m looking for another Susan. As I think about what you wrote, I imagine I go about finding her the same way you suggest one makes friends with a Mary.  I struggle to reach out for fear that the person I reach out too might think, “who is this chick and does she really think she’s as good as I am?”  Probably irrational, but it does hold me back.” You know you’re nodding and agreeing and all that stuff with my emailer’s confession. So let’s get ourselves some Susan’s! But how you ask? Well I think you go about it a little differently that you would a Mary. Mainly because when you’re looking for Susan you’re finding people who are about where you are. It’s important that you don’t confuse Mary with Susan (If you have no idea what I’m talking about follow the links at the top). You are are looking for people who are about at the same skill level or business level as you. If they live in the area, awesome! But it’s not a requirement. Here are my ideas… A. First realize that just like at the playground as a kid, you may get hurt, you may find out you don’t like someone as much as you thought you would and you might underestimate the quiet girl. So I think it’s important to not try to single out just ONE Susan. Unless there is only one Susan in your whole town and then, well… single out away (and then embrace the world wide web). B. Next you need to reach out to Susan(s). Yes plural! I thought we established that in part A? I want you to try to find several Susan’s in your area and send everyone an email (maybe do it as a bcc though or you may tick some new potential friends off). Now they should be at your skill level as mentioned before. If you try to email all the Mary’s your success is probably going to be substantially lower than if you aim for Susan, plus as you establish a group… You can always invite more in.  Remember not everyone will take it, but chances are high that more than likely there are others in your town who just like you, and me, and the other gal’s reading this… Who would like a photog friend too. It’s also worth checking to see if there is already a photography community group established within your area – that could make this a whole lot easier for you! I know in Portland we have PUG (Pictage User Group – but you don’t have to be a Pictage member). Each month they get together and learn and share and just do awesome stuff together! Here is a LIST of PUG groups around the country. C. Lastly… Present it Positive! The last thing you want to do is make them feel threatened and block your email address. Introduce yourself (for real) and invite everyone for a fun afternoon or evening out. You could make it a play-date to update each other’s head shots. Or you could find a couple models and offer a fun creative shoot or just work something out with a local restaurant and have hors d’oeuvres.  The goal is to make it non-threatening, fun and and worth while. You don’t want to create a ‘do I have to’ you want to’ create a ‘wahoo! I get to’. This is an opportunity to build friendships and that’s exactly how I would present it!

So what about me you ask? I don’t know about you. But I like hearing the personal stuff… I want to know if they practice what they preach. And I want you to know that yes I do. I LOVE my photog friends and having them has been instrumental to my growth, sanity and joy with what I do.  I am so blessed to say that today I have many! But 2 years ago, if you would have asked me, I couldn’t have named one. Not a single person in the industry who I could say or felt knew me, cared about me or  had any interest in doing so and mostly that was because I was to scared to “walk up” and say, ‘I’m Leah’. Eventually I faught the fear and took the risk! Let me just give you an example of finding my Susans! A while back I was reading about Kelli France’s new office makeover when I noticed a BYU diploma. I got excited, cause we have one of those too. Plus she had the same Keep Calm and Carry On Canvas from Target and she loves business. Well it was just to much. So I sent her an email. Turns out we have a ton in common and Kelli helped me to find out that Shellie of All Things Baby does too! So now Shellie, Kelli and I help each other out, bounce ideas off each other and we’ve even planned a hot chocolate conference call so we can just chat. We’ve never actually met since we don’t live anywhere near each other – that won’t happen until WPPI, but I reached out and it worked. Find your Susan! Throw caution to the wind and take a risk. Yes, you may get rejected. I’m being honest… It could happen. But if it didn’t — if a friendship was formed — and you found that you had someone who got it… Really got it! Wouldn’t the risk be worth it? Of course it would! So what are you waiting for? Thoughts Please. And if you try it… Please, please come back and tell us how it goes!!

All images are from the Seattle Go{4}Pro Building the Biz Workshop!