Leah: [00:00:00] think one of the biggest steps we can take is encouraging them, maybe even forcing them a little at the beginning to serve others, to go out and make a difference so that they can see that they are a difference maker themselves. Welcome to the Balancing Busy podcast. I am Leah Remillet and I am so excited that you are here, whether this is your first time or you are here every week. Thank you. Thank you. And I am going to try to deliver an amazing [00:01:00] episode so that you will want to come back. That’s the goal, right? Okay. So this episode is a followup to episode 119.

Leah: Let me just explain. So in 119, I’m gonna be honest, that episode took a turn that I was not expecting. I started it as this episode where I wanted to talk about like the hidden perks for kids of working moms. I have worked for the last 16 years of raising kids and, you know, just kind of talking about some of the good that I saw.

Leah: But it ended up morphing into something so different because the honest truth is There is good in every kind of parenting style, and if we are intentional, I think we can take the good, whether it’s a single home, a two parent, two work, both working home, a stay at home, parent home, like, we can take the good from any, and when we’re intentional, we can have those in our families and for our children, right?

Leah: So, that’s kind of what that episode [00:02:00] ended up morphing into. And I talked about all kinds of ideas for any kind of home to just have more confident, more capable, and kinder people. Kids that those are the kinds of kids that we raise, right? So in that episode, there was a specific thing I talked about at the very end.

Leah: I talked about like, here’s, here’s according to Leah, the eight things that I think matter the most when we’re raising our kids that we need to make sure that we have for them. And number four was service, teaching our kids to serve others. And I just talked about how I really feel like. We are robbing them of their ability to recognize how powerful they are if we don’t make them, because, you know, kids and teenagers, you, you often kind of have to make them at first serve others, right?

Leah: And [00:03:00] not just one day a year at Christmas time or something like that. I believe that service instills purpose and value and it can be so, so powerful. powerful.

Leah: Okay. So let me get into a little bit of the nerdy science so that, I mean, I think I probably already have you, but like, let’s just prove once and for all why service is so powerful. No matter what your child is facing, I really do believe service can help them. I do. I just, I genuinely believe that in my core.

Leah: So let’s just look at some stats. Okay. Volunteering reduces depression symptoms. Okay. Like let’s just put that out there in a world where so many kids are facing depression and anxiety and some form of all of that. People 22 percent lower risk of depression. And that’s from Harvard health publications.

Leah: Um, so let’s just like. Put that right there at the very top of the list. Volunteering reduces depression and when we have [00:04:00] an Epidemic, as our society is telling us all the time of mental health illness, especially among our youth, let’s get them volunteering. Number two, it boosts life satisfaction. 96 percent of volunteers report that volunteering enhances their sense of purpose in life.

Leah: That’s from a study that United Health Group did. It increases our happiness. Now, one of the things that I think is so critical as parents is that we need to recognize and understand. It’s not our job to make our kids happy. We’re not responsible for their happiness. We’re responsible for other things.

Leah: But them being happy is not one of them. What we want to do actually is teach them how to be happy themselves. Intrinsically. Right? Not because of your circumstances. Not because of what you have or what cool things are happening. But, but from this inward place. And service, volunteering, volunteering.

Leah: Doing good for others increases happiness. People who volunteer regularly are [00:05:00] 42 percent more likely to report being very happy, not even just like happy, very happy, compared to those who do not volunteer. Uh, that was from a survey that was done by the London School of Economics. Okay, number four, it reduces stress levels.

Leah: We have a very, very tightly wound generation of youth who are stressed. A lot, a lot, 78 percent of people who volunteer say it helps lower their stress levels. And that is also sourced from a study from United Health Group as well. So just helping them to reduce stress. Now here’s the fascinating part.

Leah: What’s the biggest reason that Parents or kids are going to say why they can’t volunteer because they don’t have time, because they’re too stressed, there’s too much on their plate, and yet everything is saying that when we make the time, everything else gets better. It makes me think of Stephen R. Covey and his jar with [00:06:00] the rocks and putting the right things in the bottom, those big rocks, and then how it doesn’t make sense and yet everything else fits in.

Leah: Number five, it enhances social connectivity. Again, in a generation that is feeling lonelier than ever before, despite the fact that they are more connected than ever before, we’ve got to help bridge that gap And those who volunteer have a 33 percent higher chance of forming new friendships, enhancing social connections.

Leah: And one of the things that I’ve loved, because I’m going to tell you all about how my kids have served, what this looked like in our home. One of the things that was so cool to me was the connections my kids were making with completely different generations. I’m thinking of our middle daughter, especially, and the connections she made with, um, all of these grandmother types.

Leah: And just that. Relationship for her, so powerful, like, so amazing. I’m so grateful that she had that [00:07:00] and it wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t made service and volunteering a priority. Next, volunteering decreases loneliness.

Leah: Again, I feel like this is the same stat we already said, but in a generation of kids who feel more lonely than ever before and yet are more connected, volunteering helps us feel less lonely. Why? Because I think it helps us to realize how much more potent our power is, how much more good we can do that, that our life matters and and us showing up matters and we make a difference.

Leah: I mean, who doesn’t want their kids to know and feel that? It also improves mental health in adolescents. I don’t know how to prove this anymore, but research published in the Journal of Adolescence shows that teenagers who engage in community service are 40 percent more likely to report positive mental health outcomes.

Leah: Now, I want to make one little moment here and talk about something. I am not saying to do service for the sake of padding your college essays [00:08:00] and resumes and making yourself look better. I’m talking about doing service for the sake of doing service. Now if that’s how it starts, okay, you know, like my kids, a lot of their service started by me forcing them, right?

Leah: Like, look, this is something we do. You have to pick what you want to do, but in time we want it to become something even more powerful and something that they want to do on their own.

Leah: And the last one, it improves self esteem. 76 percent of people who volunteer regularly report improved self esteem from when they started at the beginning to where they are, you know, when they take this survey. 76 percent of them, their self esteem is improving. And I believe this. I know this because when we help someone else, it suddenly makes us realize.

Leah: That we’re pretty powerful, that we can make a difference in someone else’s life and therefore we must be able to make a difference in our own too. A study by the National Institute of Aging found this sense of accomplishment and purpose gained through [00:09:00] service boosted that self confidence by 76%. Okay, so there’s some geeky scientific y stats and things to just prove that service is so powerful.

Leah: We should be doing it, our kids should be doing it, the world should be volunteering. I I know you’re with me on this. Alright, so now let me talk about like, actually what this looked like in our home, in our family. Because this sounds great, but it’s like, okay, well how do we do this? When our kids were really little, it looked really little.

Leah: Right? It was something like, we should make cookies and deliver it to our neighbors. A, because who the heck knows their neighbors anymore, and we were attempting to know them. And B, because it’s fun, and we’re all in the kitchen together, and it’s, You know, great family bonding time. And then what do we do with all those cookies?

Leah: Well, let’s go hand them out to people. Um, it looked like all kinds of things. We used to do this thing when the kids were really little. We did it at Halloween and at Christmas. At Halloween, it was called booing. We would make these cute little, um, Like Halloween baskets and it came with a little letter, just go to Etsy [00:10:00] and look up boo basket and it’ll come up and it would have a letter and you left it on someone’s door, you, you ding dong ditched and you ran off and then they were told within, I don’t know, like 48 hours or 72 hours, something like that, to go do it to someone else.

Leah: And so it would go all around the neighborhood. It would go all over the place. And it was just, you know, so cool. And you’d put a little, a little, um, piece of paper on your door that said you’d already been booed, so you didn’t get re booed. I mean, these were simple little things. We would pick someone at Christmas time.

Leah: That we, uh, wanted to do nice things for, and again, ding dong ditching, because the kids could always get into, you know, putting someone on the door and ringing the doorbell and then trying not to get caught. That’s super fun, right? So it was, it was simple things like that. There is a great movie. I’m going to look it up right now.

Leah: Because I really do love it. Uh, the Christmas, it’s my, it’s my son’s very favorite Christmas movie. It’s The Christmas Project. Okay, that’s what it’s called. I had this moment where I’m like, what is it called? The Christmas Project. [00:11:00] Super, super cute. Um, I think you can watch the whole thing on YouTube, maybe?

Leah: It’s on Peacock. I think we originally watched it on Amazon, but I don’t know if it’s still on there. But The Christmas Project. Watch it, like make a little note for yourself, like actually get into your calendar right now on December 1st or November 30th and put a little appointment to watch the Christmas project.

Leah: Watch it early in the year so that everyone can get inspired, pick a family, and, Just give little acts of service to them. That is such a fun way to serve. So when the kids were little, it was small things like that. Going over and helping grandparents or elderly people that we knew, or whatever it might look like.

Leah: As they got older, it got a little bit more specific. So, So, when we got back from our year traveling, so we took a year and traveled the world when the kids were eight, ten, and eleven. We spent about one month in each country and we wanted to have all kinds of diverse experiences and just [00:12:00] have them get to experience all kinds of cultures and, um, you know, just all kinds of amazing people.

Leah: And that actually was such a catalyst for our journey. Like are doubling down in service because people were so good to us. Like, I cannot even explain how good people were to us throughout the world. I mean, across eight different countries, just amazing. And we talked about it all the time. Every time one of these experiences would happen, we would talk about it and talk about like, this is the kind of people we want to be.

Leah: We, we want to be like them. And so when we came home, uh, we had, had to homeschool for the year that they, that we traveled, right? Cause obviously you can’t get them to school when you’re not on the continent. And, um, then we continued homeschooling because we hadn’t quite like figured out where we were buying a house and where we were landing.

Leah: So when we were doing that homeschool, I’m like, okay. You have to do service and you can pick what you want to do. But then it was just so great [00:13:00] that we wanted to continue it. Although it did, it did look different, right? It was, there was less time to be given and that’s okay. But what we did is we found something that they were each passionate about.

Leah: And I think that that makes a huge difference, right? If I’m picking all the service activities, it’s what I care about, but it’s not necessarily what they care about. So. I’ll give the example of the two oldest because they, the youngest kind of had to tag along to their things because he was the youngest, he was little.

Leah: Um, and then the, the olders kind of were choosing what they were passionate about. So there is a website, it’s called justserve. org. It is really amazing. You just put in your zip code and it will give you. a list of different volunteer opportunities. Like these are organizations and people who need help right now.

Leah: So that is a really, really cool place to start. So our middle daughter loves to sew. She has [00:14:00] loved to sew since she was really little. I don’t know how to sew at all. Her grandmother’s taught her. And there is an organization. That she was so excited to be a part of called Days for Girls, and they had a meeting once a month in our area and it was an hour.

Leah: Well, it was three hours. Yeah, it was an hour away when we first started going. We ended up moving closer eventually into town. So then it was really close, but at the beginning it was an hour drive. And once a month we would drive over and we would all help. She would be on a sewing machine, the rest of us would be doing much, much more manual tasks that, uh, didn’t take as much skill.

Leah: And we would sit at these tables, honestly with a whole lot of grandmothers, right? There were a few that weren’t, but most of them were. And we would work on making hygiene kits. For girls in, uh, mostly third world countries who do not have access to disposable. Hygiene care, right? Like they have their period and they [00:15:00] don’t have any pads or tampons that is not available.

Leah: So we’d make these kits that were washable that they could reuse over and over, um, that would be sent to them. And we did this for years and it’s something that was so, so meaningful to her. And I’m going to try not to get emotional. I’m missing my kids extra right now, so sorry if I do. But, um, she called me a couple weeks ago and, She was like, Oh, I’m just walking.

Leah: Um, and, and, you know, she’ll call me when she’s walking around campus. And she was walking to a service club to crochet little, um, like stuffies, uh, to give to hospitals. And she was, the first time she took a friend with her, one of her roommates, and the second time no one was available and she just went by herself.

Leah: And I cannot even explain to you, like, The immense sense of, like, gratitude and, like, [00:16:00] awe over her and, and pride that, like, on her own initiative, as this 18 year old girl, as a freshman in college, she’s off to a service club to, or crochet, not knit, crochet. I don’t know how to do either. She does. I don’t.

Leah: Um. Um, to like go crochet because she has this talent and, and she thought, Oh, like that’ll be fun. Uh, I could do that. And I think it started and stemmed from when they were little pushing them to do things that honestly they were really scared of at first. And they didn’t want to because it was new and it was scary and they didn’t know anybody and, and no one was their age.

Leah: And I’m so grateful we did it. My oldest, uh, her passion is, is in trafficking, and it has been since she was really little, actually, like, much younger than she should have been to know anything about trafficking. Sex trafficking, uh, but she learned a little bit and snuck [00:17:00] and read a couple of books without us knowing and it’s been something that has been near and dear to her.

Leah: And so the organization she was really involved in and wanted to be a part of was around trafficking and an awareness for that and, you know, just. The power in helping them find something that they care about, that they’re excited about. Um, so just, just for the sake of getting to, um, kind of show you, like, going back to JustServe.

Leah: org and show you, like, as they’re thinking about, You know, your kid’s passions and what they would maybe want to do. If you have a kid who loves baking, uh, this is, I’m looking for Redmond, Washington, Seattle, Washington area. Okay. So that’s just the zip code I put in. Um, but you’d put in your zip code, but just in that area, provide two dozen cookies for to go meals.

Leah: If you have a kid who loves to bake, there is a perfect way to [00:18:00] volunteer. Um, This one is volunteering at a 5k community event. So if you have a kid who loves running who loves sports There is a perfect place for them. The next one is, uh, Humanitarian Collective. It’s showing a sewing machines, um, It says sewing machines available and fabric provided.

Leah: So, if you happen to have a little, a little sewer, a little seamstress like I did, there is a great opportunity. Um, another one is homelessness, right? So, Serving at shelters. We, we had for several years where we served at a food bank and, and that was a great opportunity. Uh, the Red Cross, like if you have any, you know, your kids have any dreams of being in the health field, right?

Leah: Like go donate at the Red Cross, donate their time. Uh, there’s a food bank one. There’s another food bank one. Um, home delivery food boxes. That has been one that I think is is It’s really great. And if you have someone who is social, you know, they can talk with them a [00:19:00] little bit. So a lot of them are, are contactless, but you can kind of look at that.

Leah: Uh, another one, making a blanket for a child in foster care. So again, if they’re crafty, backpacks, um, that are being donated. There’s, um, so many different opportunities. Uh, refuge, refugee family help, uh, language help, teaching a language, and you don’t even have to know their language, you know, to teach your language, English or Spanish or whatever it might be.

Leah: Um, a community kitchen, volunteering at Farmer Frogs. I don’t even know what that means, but like, you know, if they love being outdoors and in gardens, there are so many different ways to help. And we can find something that aligns with their own passions. And I think that makes such a difference. There is so much power in serving for every single one of [00:20:00] us.

Leah: I am so grateful for the time that I spend serving. And, and I get to serve in a way that is, is specific around my skillset, right? Like I love to teach. I love to get up and, and share my stories and teach. And that’s what I get to do. I am on year six of getting to teach and learn. a religion class every morning.

Leah: It’s called seminary and I do it from Not every morning, but I do it from 6. 20am to 7. 20am and I love it. I get to work with teenagers. I get to teach them and help them study the Bible and scripture. And it’s just, it’s incredible. And I love that. I love my way of serving, but it’s not everybody’s.

Leah: I love that for my kids, they’ve gotten to find ways to serve that work for them, that, that fit their passions. And just. Thinking about the impact, the way that we could improve our kids [00:21:00] lives, the lives within our communities, I mean, just everyone, think of every single person who listened to this episode.

Leah: First, shared it with their BFFs and was like, Hey, what if we all do this together? What if we get our kids serving together and coming up with some fun things? Maybe they come up with their complete own thing. They don’t even work with an organization. They come up with a need that they see and they figure out how to fill it.

Leah: What if as friends, as, as sisters, as parents, we all worked on this together. What if as teachers, you went out and you encouraged your kids in your classrooms to do service and, and even to do it together to make it more fun. What if all of us did this? Like, how could we help our communities and our kids so that they can feel more confident, feel more resilient, feel less, uh, prone to loneliness and depression and anxiety and all of these feelings that we’re seeing in our youth.

Leah: And, you know, all [00:22:00] these people are having these conversations about what do we do? What do we do? What do we do? Maybe this is the time. And I think one of the biggest steps we can take is encouraging them, maybe even forcing them a little at the beginning to serve others, to go out and make a difference so that they can see that they are a difference maker themselves.

Leah: Okay, I was so excited to dive into this. In fact, I recorded it the second I finished recording episode 119 because I’m like, I said, I’m going to talk about this. I don’t want to not. It’s all fresh. I have all these things I want to share. We’re getting into this. I don’t think this needs to look like a crazy amount of time.

Leah: We’re not trying to overschedule ourselves in any way. But I think that making it a regular habit, whether that is once a month, once a week, right? Making it Just be part of our lives and something we’re thinking about. That is powerful. We are coming up on the holidays. So it is the perfect time to get started by being [00:23:00] like, Hey, as a family, who are we going to serve?

Leah: What are we going to do? And then maybe in the new year you take it further and everybody starts picking their organizations. There’s a reason why in December, you know, more charity is given. More service is given. Everybody feels better. Everybody, there’s just this, this like sense of, of unity. It’s because we’re all thinking about others a little bit more.

Leah: We’re serving others a little bit more, but the, the real key to more successful kids is taking it past the holidays and taking it into the new year and making it a part of our lives, like our real identities. I want my kids. To see themselves as people who serve others. And I bet you want the same thing.

Leah: So, watch The Christmas Project. It’s a really cute movie. Let that be the catalyst for getting started for the holidays. And then, go to justserve. org. Or maybe you already know your organization. You know [00:24:00] exactly what you want to do. Perfect. Do that. But if you’re, Like I was where I was honestly kind of scratching my head.

Leah: I’m like, okay, I know I want the kids to serve. I don’t know though. I don’t know what to happen to you. I don’t know what options are available in my community. JustServe. org is an incredible resource. Okay. Thank you so much for being part of this episode, and I hope that, I hope that it’s inspired you and it’s gotten excited.

Leah: Thank you so much for being part of this episode. If you love the Balancing Busy podcast, can I ask you to do the smallest little act of service for me right now? Can you leave a five star review with a quick sentence about why you love this podcast?

Leah: It makes such a huge difference for the kind of guests we can get, for getting more people hearing and seeing and recognizing and knowing about this podcast. And it just literally makes my day. So if you would just Really quick, right now, if you’re on Audible or if you’re on Apple, go down and [00:25:00] leave a five star review with a quick sentence about why you love the podcast, that would be amazing.

Leah: And if you do do that, let me know because we have a beautiful necklace, it’s called the Balance Necklace, and the only way that you can get it is if you leave a review. And if you do, I send it to you, my gift, completely free, I send it just to say thank you and give you this little token that you can wear as a reminder that Balance is a choice and you absolutely can have balance in your life.

Leah: You deserve balance in your life. Okay. Thank you for being part of the Balancing Busy podcast. I will see you next week. 

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