Hello. We are going to be talking about style today, and I’m excited about this conversation because as I was prepping it, I was thinking about so many women who wanna elevate their style. They want to feel finished and polished and you know, not like they’re the pile of laundry that they haven’t folded yet.

Like that’s how they feel like they’re walking out into, into the world. And yet. It can feel overwhelming. So how do we simplify? And that’s why I brought Ellie Steinbrink. She is on the podcast today, a style expert, and she’s going to help us level up, but in a way that feels very doable. So Ellie, thank you for being here.

I am so excited to have you on the podcast today.

Same

Leah. Thanks for having me. Oh, so I, I cannot wait to jump in. So let’s just, let’s just start by, will you give everybody just kind of the short version of how you got into what you do today?

It’s, it is a long story, so I will spare you a long story, but I mean, it really began when I was a little girl.

I was changing outfits multiple times a day. I mean, it was my creative outlet. I, I am raised by a farmer and an artist and I got a little bit of both from them and instead of my outlet, you know, and creativity being on a canvas like my mom, mine was coming out and what I wore and that was just, it was a part of me all the way through growing up and into adulthood.

I ultimately took a different route though with my career, and I spent 20 years in marketing and branding and. Somewhere along the way, uh, in those marketing careers, those jobs that I had, I knew it wasn’t ultimately the thing for me. In fact, I got to the top level of my career what I thought I wanted, and realized it wasn’t what I wanted at all.

And it took me a few more years to realize and to have the opportunity to just say. Okay. What I actually want to do is I want to work with women on their style, and I ended up marrying my two, my two worlds actually. Um, I ended up putting all of my knowledge about branding and personal branding into my styling business.

And yeah, at the age of 40 I started my styling business. I was a little bit shoved off the cliff, but here I am not looking back and, um, loving every bit of it. So who I work with today are primarily female entrepreneurs, business owners, leaders, and helping them really understand how style is a part of how they can more authentically show up.

So I often talk about the way I work in terms of my styling is it’s an inside out job. So we’re talking about. The shifts that need to happen on the inside for you to be able to step into the style of your dreams, or let’s say an effortless style. I like to joke that effortless is not effortless at all.

Um, but it’s really an energy that comes from within. And so when you’re seeing someone walk by in the street or at the school pickup line, or if you’re someone’s speaking on stage and you think, wow, you know, they must just, they just have it so together and you can just feel their energy radiating.

That’s work they’ve done on the inside to be then represented on the outside. So the work I do is a lot of find out foundational style mindset work before we actually ever step foot into a store. But I work with women both one-to-one and in a group setting, and I love it. It’s so fun to watch people really step fully into themselves and doing it boldly.

It’s the best part of the work. I

love that. I love that. And it’s so funny when you said, you know, sometimes it’s like, it looks effortless, but it actually takes so much effort. I was watching, I, I saw someone’s real, I think it was yesterday and they were showing like the cuffed up sleeve, right? And kind of elevated just a, a plain button up.

But then they’re like, is it not staying up? Use a rubber band. And they were showing this little, you know, technique and trick. And that just makes me giggle because I’m like. It looks so effortless, the finished look. And yet little does everybody know, there’s like a rubber van that’s holding up the sleeve to keep it in place.

And you know that, and I mean, that’s just one very simple little of those tips that you learn and you see and you’re like, oh yeah, effortless takes some effort. It does. I wanna start our conversation and just start with. If someone is feeling stuck in a style rut, maybe just blah, or maybe they’re starting to worry that they’re not dressing age appropriate, but they also don’t wanna dress, you know, they, they want to still feel stylish and, and all of those things.

What’s the first mindset shift? Where do we need to start before we go into our closets?

That’s a great question, Leah, and you’ve already kind of like led us into. You know, saying what is the first mindset shift? But honestly, when I work with women or when you know, I’m speaking and someone comes up to me and they have the same question, like, where do I start?

Our knee jerk reaction and you know, most women that I speak to, our kneejerk reaction is, okay, if I’m feeling like there’s a shift in me, I feel like I want to do something different. I wanna elevate my style, I want it to be different. The first thing we think to do is to start shopping. And I say, don’t do that.

And here’s why. When you walk into a retail environment, and that could also be you following someone on Instagram, it could be whatever’s popping up on your feed now because you started down a path of shopping for something. Or it can be when you walk into an actual retail environment. Things get really confusing.

Listen, I spent 20 years in marketing and I know exactly all the tricks that they’re playing on us. Fear of missing out. There’s all the trends that we certainly can’t miss out on this season. There’s stylists in the store, very well-meaning and expert stylists, but they’re telling you, oh my goodness, that looks amazing on you.

You have to get this, and now you feel compelled to get it. There’s sales. Hello. I love a great sale whether I need it or not. That’s gonna compel me. So what I say, it’s confusing. Going shopping is actually gonna lead you down another path that is leading to more confusion and a full closet. I mean, this is how most of us have gotten to a point where we look at our closet and we’re like.

I don’t even know what’s in there. There’s so much stuff in there. It’s so disjointed. Half of it I’ve never worn. Some still have tags on. Some don’t fit me. This is how we’ve gotten to this point, and so we need a new strategy. Okay, so when we get that urge to want to go shopping, what we really need to do is stop and ask ourselves.

This is going back to your initial question. What’s the first step? Who is the woman I’m becoming? Now, this might seem like a simple question. But it is quite thought provoking. And we gotta be honest with ourselves too about when I think about the next level version of myself, what is she doing? What does she look like?

And in this question, we’re also starting to get on, get to the honest level. So when. When I think about myself in my next level version of myself in this business, it’s hard for me to not get caught up in, well, I see other women entrepreneurs around me and this is kind of how they’re showing up and how they’re dressing.

Or maybe I see other moms around me and this is how they’re showing up and this is what they’re doing. And now that becomes my aspiration. But what if we got back to really what is it that I like? What would be a representation of me? And honestly, Leah, for so many years. We’ve been taught how to create our style by looking at others or looking at other people’s rules or society’s rules about how we should or should not show up.

That includes just all the rules of being a woman, you know? That includes how you should show up if you’re a mom. I remember when I first became a mom and I walked into my closet and I thought. Well, I don’t know if I can wear any of this anymore. ’cause somehow it didn’t feel right. It was very weird feeling.

Um, it happens at different age groups. So like, you turn 30 and now this is what you’re supposed to wear 40, 50 and beyond. And then there’s the whole there career aspect of, depending on what industry you’re in, there’s a lot of pressure to dress in this way or that way depending on what you’re seeing around you.

So when I say, you know, who is the woman I’m becoming and what. What way would she dress that would reflect her true self? That is actually kind of a difficult question, but it’s a really good one to start pondering. When we start to peel back that layer and try to figure out, okay, who is the real me?

What lights her up? What makes her excited? Then we start to put those pieces into place and we can walk into a retail environment. And make smarter and more clear and more strategic and more intentional decisions because we’re not now being swayed by a sale or what an influence told her we had to wear.

Now to be in, there’s a lot of pressure.

Hmm. That is so good. And it’s interesting because as you’re saying this, I’m thinking about the different identities that we take on, right. And. As you were saying this, I was thinking about an identity that changed for me over the years is that I am someone who exercises that is not an identity that I had early on.

Right? Yeah. I just, no way. So I had very minimal workout clothes, very, I didn’t care what they cost. I didn’t, you know, I, I didn’t care about them at all and, and that worked for a long time. But I got to this point where I realized actually. This version of me Now, she works out five to six days every single week she has for years.

And I would probably feel a lot better if I was a little more intentional and instead of throwing on the old t-shirt and the whatever, you know, like I felt a little, a little better. And that’s such a silly thing, honestly. The majority of the time I work out at home, no one sees me. And yet that little shift I showed up into my workouts, more confident.

I felt, you know, a little more sexy. I felt a little, little more, okay, this is, I’m, I’m seeing progress. This is working. And that is the silliest thing where we are literally talking about leggings and sports bras. So now taking that into the rest of our lives, the way that we show up for. Parent meetings or pick up or date night or lunch with our girlfriends or even just running errands and what a difference that that can make and, and really thinking about and stopping and saying, okay, well what are all my roles?

How do I imagine like, showing up as this best version of myself? And when I think about that, I’m thinking where I feel confident. I feel like I can, I can take up space in instead of maybe feeling smaller. And sometimes when, when you know I’m just running to do something and I’m like, whatever, I don’t care.

I just gotta go run and do it. Nothing’s done. Oh, I feel smaller. Like I want to take up less space. ’cause I’m like, nobody looked too closely. Kate. Yes. It is a hot mess over here. Yes. Don’t look, you’re bringing

up something really great here, Leah, because I think there’s this unfortunate thing that is in our culture, in that style and fashion has been thought to be like a really frivolous thing and you know, it’s sort of like, oh, it’s, you know, it’s just clothes.

It’s not that big of a deal. Or maybe you might be labeled as too in self-indulgent if you’re paying too much attention. And what I’ve realized, and there’s actually research to back this up, brain brain science shows that you know what you wear actually changes how you show up. It changes your energy.

It changes ultimately the results of your day. You just talked about it so beautifully, like when you talked about wearing workout clothes, first of all, that maybe you didn’t feel that great in versus putting on something that really energized you. Whether it was a certain color that gave you that energy, or just the way it fit you, that changed how you sh showed up in your day.

I see this too with women. This is actually one of the first exercises we do when we start working together is we’ll say, okay. Talk about a day when you walked into your closet and you just didn’t feel like you had anything great to put on. You know, like maybe everything was, was dirty, it was in the laundry, so you didn’t have options.

Or maybe you had a toddler around your ankles and so you had a matter of seconds to just grab something and it just was the first thing you saw. Or maybe nothing fits you in there and you kind of feel like you have limited options. Just think about on those days. The sort of mood you’re in, in your closet, and then how that parlays into the rest of your day.

I know for me, and you mentioned it, like if I don’t feel great in something I’m wearing, whether it’s the fit or the color or just that I don’t like it, and it was the last option I had. I change the way I show up changes. I might be a little snippy with my husband. I hate to even admit that, but it happens.

Um, I’m definitely not from a business standpoint, I’m not reaching out to people and going after the hardest tasks on my list. I’m kind of doing my, you know, meaningless tasks that really aren’t moving the needle. I’m not reaching out to people. I’m not like wanting to put my Zoom camera on. And then you think about a day, you know, a total opposite situation where you do walk into your closet and there’s something in there you’re really excited to wear, whether it just makes you feel really great and cozy.

It’s a color you love. It’s a silhouette that works really great on your body. I know we’ve all had these days, and maybe we’ve had fewer of these days, you know, in our closets as opposed to the one I just described. But think about now how you move about, you’re like. I’m need to be seen. I’m gonna meet up with somebody today.

I’m gonna, you know, snap a selfie ’cause I’m feeling really good. I’m gonna turn my Zoom camera on. I’m gonna be more social at a networking event that I need to go to. It really does change you and this is why I continue talking about style, not because I just want everyone to be stylish. It really is about changing how you show up so that you can keep going after whatever it is you want to go after and do it with confidence.

Amen. Amen. So, okay. I think, I think we have drilled home the mindset part and doing the work to figure out how we wanna show up. So now I wanna shift into the tangible Sure. What are the next steps? So it’s like, okay, we, we’ve done the work, we did some journaling. We, we figured out now. Now what do we do?

Yeah.

Okay. So this is a really first. Easy first step that anyone listening can do today. They can do it tomorrow, they can do it this week, and they can do it at their own pace. So our closets have become a place maybe sometimes where we even loathe going into, you know, or maybe it’s overwhelming. There are, I often say there are a lot of emotions in the closet because it’s things that we’ve bought and never worn, or maybe we spent too much money on something and we’re feeling guilty.

Things we haven’t taken back. Um, things that someone gave us that we don’t actually like, things that don’t fit us. There’s a ton of emotion in there. And also on top of that, I really have a firm belief that our closets have become, and the, the clothes that are in our closets. We’ve kind of developed a transactional relationship with them.

And trust me, I’m getting to the tangible thing. Um, but there’s a transactional relationship that has been developed because we live in a world where fast fashion exists. And I’m not gonna make a statement about fast fashion. It’s just a reality that we can get clothes very easily and we can discard of them very easily.

And so that relationship with our clothes has kind of gone out the window because, you know, it’s like, oh, it’s fine. It’s only $10, you know, I’ll just wear it once and then throw it away. I am asking you and the listeners to start to have a little bit more of a connection with the clothes that are in your closet.

So here’s what I would ask you to do, a tangible first step. When you put your clothes on in just tomorrow or today, whatever you decide you’re gonna put on, I want you just to ask yourself, how do I feel in this? You would be surprised, Leah, by how many times women aren’t even asking them themselves that question.

Maybe because they don’t have time. Maybe because they think they should wear something. ’cause they know the expectation of them wherever they’re going. I know where I’m going. People are gonna kind of dress like this, so I better wear it too. That’s kind of what goes on in your head. Um. There’s a lot of conversation that goes around, you know, what should I wear?

And this is exhausting. This becomes very exhausting to try to figure out what you should wear to fit in wherever you’re going. What if you just asked yourself first, how does this make me feel? If it says, I don’t know, well, it fits where I’m going, but I don’t especially like it and the colors kind of bland, and I would probably prefer to wear this.

Or every time I sit down, I feel like I can’t breathe. Wearing this or it really makes me itch. What if we tried just getting honest with what’s in there and slowly starting to let those things go. Um, you know, and you can either completely like throw them in the trash. If they’re worn out, um, you can donate them.

You can, even if you’re, you know, like for example, clothes that maybe don’t fit you. This is the very common one where women struggle with. Okay. I, if I could just lose 10 pounds, I will fit into that pair of jeans and everything will be okay. Well what if maybe today you just moved that pair of jeans or whatever address over into a pile in another room that you don’t see it when you walk into your closet.

So this is a matter, this is an exercise of noticing how does this make me feel? And I can guarantee if you try to put on a pair of pants that don’t zip up, that’s not gonna make you feel real. Great. Second is. Take some action. Those things that don’t feel great to you, do one of those things I just said.

You know, either get rid of it completely or set it off to the side where you’re not gonna see it. Because I really do believe when you walk in your closet and you’ve got these things that either you’re putting on or you see that there’s some other story behind it, that’s just not giving you a great feeling.

It’s not giving you a feeling of joy. We talked about joy, Leah, before we jumped on, get them out, out of sight, out of mind. And I think it can feel scary also to feel like you need lots and lots of clothes. And I have a tip for that too, but I’m just gonna pause and, um, see where you might wanna go with that, about just noticing.

I, I love this, so I love that. This is actually something that I have been working on myself personally over the last year, and so I wanna kind of share with you what I’ve done, and then I want you to actually like, poke holes in it for me. Okay? Okay. Like, I, I, I, like, I am giving you permission to be like, okay, yay.

Well maybe I wouldn’t do this because, okay. So, okay, so over the last year. I have that exactly what you’re talking about. There’s things that I’ve purchased that I’m like, oh my gosh, that was so much money and I didn’t return it in time or whatever, and I don’t really like the way it fits or, you know, whatever it is.

Yeah. So I, I had a day where I was feeling extra brave and so I let myself like, okay, take action. This is the day, you know, and I, I let a lot of things go and, and then I really was like, okay, what do I want this, this next version of me? To look like and it’s, and I’m loving when you’re saying this ’cause I’m like, oh, that’s so cool.

I did this. I just didn’t really realize that I was doing it. And so then I went and I created a Pinterest board that was like, okay, what am I really drawn to? What do I love? And so I just made like a kind of a style vision board. In fact, we’ll link in the show notes so everyone can just see mine. Um, and, and I started really making a style board and I.

Started to look for what I was noticing, I, I was, was a common thread and then I was like, okay, so these, these are gonna be pieces that I know I want to purchase. It was so funny a few months ago I was telling my husband it was like date night or something and I was telling you about how yeah, I’ve been actually really trying to, um, make changes to my style and there’s just different things I wanna do and I’m really trying to be more intentional to buy.

Pieces that I really love and he’s like, I don’t know anything about what you’re saying right now other than that. I understand that when you say pieces, it’s gotta mean a lot of money. I was like, I was like, I’m like, no, not necessarily, but I was just totally laughing that like he was thinking that. I feel like what I found for me that works is I like doing kind of a mix of.

Items in my closet that are more expensive, and then items that are very, very budget friendly. Mm-hmm. So, you know, for example, I might be like, okay, I really want the jeans to look great. And they’re like. You know, on, on the expensive side of jeans, and yet I’m throwing on a white t-shirt that I picked up at Marshall’s that, you know, was like $12.

And I don’t care when I spill something on it. And I’m like, that’s all right, I’ll, I’ll go on to the next one. So I kind of try to do this mix and match. Okay. So that’s kind of what I have been doing lately for my own. Now what. What would you say is not working in that? And you can say what’s working too, but let me know your thoughts.

Okay.

I have two things that I’m thinking about. First is when you’re talking about creating your style board, I love that you did that. And also I love that you said like I had a moment of inspiration. Those are the times to act. So absolutely. If someone’s listening to this and you can think of three or five or 10 things in your closet that need to go, go do it right now before you lose your courage because.

There’s, it’s probably been something boiling up for a long time, but, okay. So with this, with the Pinterest board, this is something I have my clients do as well in the early stages and what I’ve found, what I found when I first started five years ago, we would start there and then we would almost immediately go to shopping.

And what I found is there was a missing link between. I love this for myself and I’m ready to wear this. And what would happen is they would say, oh, this is what I feel drawn to and what I’m inspired to do. And I’d be like, great, let’s go down this path. And we would go try on said things and then they would be like, but I’m not sure.

And now they’re thinking about going out wearing this thing. And it was almost kind of like all the old, old programming, whatever that old programming had been, was stopping them. And it occurred to me within that first year that, okay, there’s another step in here between what I love and my Pinterest board and going out and shopping and wearing the darn thing.

There’s a missing step here. And that is, we gotta get real honest about what stories we’re telling about our telling ourselves that makes it not okay and not safe for us to actually go and do the dang thing and. So that piece is critical and if you guys are interested in that, there’s a freebie, um, a download that I think Leah will make available in the show notes called The Style Mindset Reset.

And that really goes into what are all these rules I’ve been telling myself about why I can’t actually wear what I want to wear, this new style. I have example. What’s

one of those rules that we might be Yes. Following that we don’t even realize we’re following?

Yeah. So. Here’s a great one. I’ll use myself in as an example.

I’ll use myself, um, you know, or an example that happened quite recently. So I work with a lot of C-suite women and I had a moment where, um, a little bit of an imposter syndrome where I had this belief that if I was a stylist to C-suite women who were wearing all of these amazing pieces, um, all of these designer brands.

That I also needed to be dressing in the same way. If I was helping them, I needed to look like them. And at some point I caught myself thinking, what am. What on Earth am I thinking? First of all, you know, every client I work with, her style is different. Second of all, why would I believe that they’re hiring me?

Only because of the brands I wear or how much I’m spending on my wardrobe? They’re hiring me for my creativity, for my ability to see their wardrobe in a new way for them to help them see themselves in a new way, to give them tactical and practical skills, and also a different mindset. And it was a time for me to sort of catch myself in my thinking and say, wait a second.

This is not at all what they’re hiring me for. Um, another great example I will hear very often is, uh, wearing neutrals versus wearing colors. And if you’re in an environment where you’ve worked in corporate, um, it’s very common for women to feel the most safe wearing blacks and neutrals. Even if they really love wearing color and what the story that comes out along with that will be, well, I will be taken the most serious if I’m wearing black or some other neutral.

And if I wear something with a pattern or if something with a really bright color, that will not be seen as me being serious or credible or professional. And so that’s another thing we have to work with is that, oh, yes, I can express my personality in a colorful way and also be professional and also be credible.

But honestly, Leah, I could go through hundreds of examples. Everything from. Uh, my body needs to look a certain way in order for me to be beautiful or successful to, or to wear that style. Um, I won’t wear horizontal stripes because I was raised believing that girls my size, we don’t wear horizontal stripes.

Um, it’s not okay to show my arms. There’s just endless. And so if you’re sitting here thinking, oh my gosh, all these examples, I, I feel like I believe all of these. It’s not uncommon for the women I work with too. Have tons of stories about how they should, should show up with their style, how they should be, what’s okay with their bodies.

Even just if you’re a woman, you should like wearing heels and being feminine. Okay. That doesn’t apply to everybody. So, um, right. We have to sort of interrupt that thinking and say, okay, this is what, when I dream, and visioning and dreaming is so much fun, right? Because you feel a little bit more loose and you feel a little bit more courageous.

But we gotta start to interrupt that thinking and write ourselves a new story in order to be able to say, you know, that was a rule I believed once. I don’t think that rule applies in my life anymore. I’m ready to put that aside and I’m ready to now step into. And it just takes work. It’s not something that happens overnight.

It’s something that you have to continue working on and reminding yourself of so that you can step into this new version of yourself. Um. That was one aha from your story. I have a second one. So when you were talking about putting together pieces, a mix of your designer, expensive, or let’s just call ’em investment worthy pieces and then some, you know, less expensive pieces.

I think in general that is a great way to approach it. And I would say that is true of my closet too. However, I think it can be easily, um. Believed that something that is inexpensive maybe won’t last as long. Now that can be true, and I have had pieces that were cheaply made that do fall apart very quickly.

However, I have also bought pieces from h and m and from Target and from a lot of what would be considered fast fashion places that I have taken care of and owned for years and years and years. And I wear them over and over again and they are some of the pieces that I love the most and that fit me the most.

And so I would say don’t be so concerned about always needing to spend a lot of money, um, because I think you can find great pieces anywhere. Um, and even, you know, even if you think about walking into h and m or Target, there are pieces within there where you can tell this is a little bit higher quality versus maybe this is a little more cheaply made.

So, um, I think the most important question to ask yourself when you’re deciding you know, what to what gets in your closet and what doesn’t deserve the space in your closet is do I love it? And I think it’s, it seems like an impossible goal, but really I have a belief that what’s in everything in your closet you should absolutely love.

And the other tip I’ll add to that is when you decide to add a piece to your closet, I want you to ask yourself, can I wear this in at least three ways? At least three days, without having to go buy another piece to complete your outfit? Can this piece be worn in at least three ways and not just maybe three ways in a casual setting, but.

Three ways, maybe one in a casual setting, one in a professional setting, one in a date night setting. I often use the example of a blazer because it’s a piece that women often correlate with business. However, I have a ton of blazers. I love blazers. That’s a big part of my style personality. I wear blazers on date night.

I wear blazers with sneakers and jeans on the weekend to my kids. Uh, you know, soccer games and everything else, which I know is not the norm, but that’s how I feel myself. No, I love

that you’re bringing back the boys and, you know, I wear it in a business

setting, so we have to get flexible about the way we think about using our pieces.

Otherwise, we’ll have segments in our closet that this is my work clothes, this is my casual close, this is my going out close. And if we can think about them all working together and being used in different ways. We get a lot more flexibility out of the fewer things we have in our closet. So less is more, in my opinion.

I love that. Okay. So this is so many good things and, and it all just keeps bringing back recent conversations I’ve had, which is just making me like, giggle and light up. So I was with a girlfriend, we were shopping, um, several weeks ago, and there was a, I was trying on this. Bomber jacket that was a little bit more, uh, dressy and mm-hmm.

You know, I was really liking it, but it was, it had a quite a price tag. And so I’m, I’m, you know, trying to decide. And she’s like, can you think of five things, five different ways you could, you five different outfits you could have. Right. And, and I was like, you know, so I’m thinking like, okay, I could wear it with a skirt when I wanna do dressy for church.

I could wear it with, you know, these jeans when I wanna do it. Right. And I was kind of thinking through my closet and it was such a great way, and I’ve been trying to do that too, where it’s like. I’m trying to stop buying things that are like, oh yeah, it’s pretty good. I’m trying to look for yes and not pretty good.

Yes. And, and making tho that distinction. So I, I loved all that.

When you’re in that energetic, hyped up, oh my gosh, I love this in the store, take it home. Yeah, try it on with some things in your closet. Get away from the hype energy that you were feeling and get back into like a practical setting and say, okay, can I actually make several outfits out of this with what I have before you make your decision?

And if you can’t, and I’ve done this many times, if I can’t, then I know it’s doesn’t have a good place in my closet. You know? I need it to, I need it to be a workhorse. And if it’s not, it’s 📍 going.

  📍 📍 It’s Leah, and I’m pausing us really quick on this conversation. Don’t worry, it is coming back. We are clearly not done, but we are gonna jump into. Part two so that I can keep things short and tangible for you. If you have more time, we’re gonna jump right into capsule wardrobes. Do they work? How do we make them work?

And what about when seasons change? For those of us who live in climates where what we wear in the summer is very different than what we wear in the winter. So go ahead and pop over to part two as we get to continue this conversation with Ellie. 

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