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Unpacking Emotions: A Deep Dive into Regulation for Parents and Kids (Part 2 Ep190)

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In the last episode, we talked about the basics of emotional regulation—how important it is to validate feelings, set boundaries around behaviors, and how much our kids learn just by watching us.

But here’s the thing: what happens when we, as parents, feel like we’re the ones constantly losing it? Maybe you find yourself snapping over little things, or spiraling into self-criticism after you’ve had a rough reaction. You’re not alone in that—I’ve been there, too.

That’s why in this part of my conversation with Dr. Amy Moore, we shifted gears. Instead of just talking about our kids, we dug into what it looks like for us, as adults, to strengthen our own emotional regulation. Because if our brains and bodies are running on empty, all the parenting strategies in the world won’t stick.

Why Emotional Regulation Feels So Hard Sometimes

Let’s be real: being told to “just reframe your thoughts” when you’re already in the middle of a meltdown is… not helpful. It feels impossible. And that’s because emotional regulation isn’t about willpower.

Dr. Moore explained it in such a helpful way—regulation starts with a healthy brain. If we’re sleep-deprived, running on sugar and caffeine, or mentally exhausted, it’s like trying to swim upstream. Of course we feel triggered more easily.

Three Things That Strengthen the Brain (and Our Emotional Control)

Here’s what really stuck with me: there are three simple but powerful areas we can focus on that make emotional regulation so much more doable.

1. Sleep: The Non-Negotiable Reset

Think of sleep as your brain’s clean-up crew. When we don’t get enough, toxins pile up and communication in the brain gets fuzzy. That’s when we’re more reactive, more irritable, and less able to read emotions in other people (yes, lack of sleep literally makes us worse at empathy!).

For me, this was a wake-up call to treat sleep as essential, not optional. Creating a wind-down routine, setting aside devices, and aiming for those solid 7–8 hours is game-changing—for us and for our kids.

2. Nutrition: Food That Fuels Calm

This isn’t about dieting. It’s about asking, “Is what I’m eating helping my brain or hurting it?” Too much sugar, hidden food sensitivities, and artificial junk can all make emotional regulation harder.

Dr. Moore has even seen incredible changes in kids’ moods and behaviors just from cleaning up what’s on their plates. I loved her reminder of the 90/10 rule: aim for nourishing food most of the time, and don’t stress about the birthday cake or Friday night pizza. Balance over perfection.

3. Cognitive Skills: Training the Mind’s Muscles

Our brain skills—like memory, focus, and processing speed—play a bigger role in our emotions than we realize. For example, strong working memory helps us pause, think, and choose a better response instead of reacting in the heat of the moment.

One practical tool? The A-B-C reflection model:

  • What happened right before the reaction (Antecedent)?
  • How did I or my child respond (Behavior)?
  • What happened afterward (Consequence)?

Looking at those patterns—along with basics like sleep and nutrition—can help us connect the dots and make small, intentional shifts.

Living from Our Values

Here’s my favorite part of this whole conversation: once we strengthen the basics (sleep, food, brain skills), we can start tuning into how we want to show up.

It’s not about being perfect parents. It’s about asking, “Does this response move me toward my values or away from them?” And when we do mess up (because we will), there’s power in reflection and repair.

I loved how Dr. Moore reframed this: it’s not failure when we lose it—it’s an opportunity to model growth for our kids. And the more we practice this, the more our kids learn how to do the same.

Emotional regulation isn’t a one-and-done skill. It’s a journey. And it starts with giving our brains and bodies what they need so we can show up with intention. For me, it’s encouraging to know that even small changes—an earlier bedtime, swapping a sugary snack, or pausing to reflect—can add up to big shifts in how I feel and how I parent.

If you’ve been feeling stuck or frustrated with your own reactions, I hope this conversation leaves you with both hope and a few practical steps to try.


AFTER YOU LISTEN:

Resources from Dr. Amy Moore:

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