[00:00:00] If there is one word, moms say more than wear your shoes. It’s busy. We use it like a reflex. I’ve been so busy. But if you listen closely, most of us actually aren’t saying busy. We’re actually saying something like, hi, I’m overwhelmed, or, Hey, I’m stretched too thin, or. Oh, well, I’m trying so hard and yet I still feel behind.

But here’s the part that we don’t talk about enough. Not all busy is bad. There are different versions of busy. Some busy means you’re in motion towards the life you want while there’s the other version of busy, which means you’re simply spinning in circles. Today, I wanna help you tell the. Difference because when you understand which kind of busy you’re in, you can stop beating yourself up for doing too much and [00:01:00] start designing days that actually feel fulfilling.

There was a point when I would cringe when someone would say to me, oh, I know how busy you are, because I’m like, hello, I’m the balance bestie. I’m here helping people have more balance. But the reality is. To a lot of people. My life does look very busy in that It’s very full. It is very full. I do a lot of volunteering.

I run a company. I am a mom. There is a lot going on. We travel a lot, but I don’t feel frantic. So busy is one of these words that moms use, like punctuation. We say it without even thinking. But what I wanna do today is I wanna get deeper into the two versions of busy, because here’s the thing. Busy isn’t a badge of honor.

I say that all the time. I’m gonna keep saying it, but it is a clue. It’s a signal that something in the system might not be working as well as it could because there’s productive [00:02:00] busy and then there’s chaotic, busy, and they could not feel more different. So productive, busy. Productive, busy has direction.

It’s focused effort towards the things that truly matter. I’m hoping that you can think of a time where you’re like, yes, that was productive, busy. I mean, I was definitely busy, but I had direction. In productive busyness, you might still have a very full day, but you feel a sense of progress. There’s margin built in.

There’s time to breathe, to connect, to actually enjoy what you’re building, and you’re excited about where you’re going. You finish the day tired, but very satisfied. I mean, you might still hit the pillow and be out in seconds. That is always me, but I’m satisfied. I feel good. I know what I accomplished. On the other side is chaotic, busy.

It is motion without meaning. So if productive, busy has direction, chaotic, busy is just [00:03:00] meaningless motion. It’s running from one thing to the next, always reacting, never leading. It’s the kind of busy that keeps you exhausted but not accomplished, and then the more you do, the further behind you feel. The best way I’ve found to check in with what busy you’re in is when you hit the pillow at night, which thought comes into your mind.

Is it number one, I never stop moving and I don’t even know what I accomplished. That is going to be the chaotic side of busy. If on the other hand it’s number two, you lay your head on the pillow and you’re like, Ugh, I never stopped moving. But man, did that feel good? That is productive, busy. It is the intention behind them.

One builds life and the other, it just fills a calendar. So the next time that you catch yourself saying, oh, I am just so busy, pause, ask yourself, am I moving with purpose or just spinning in circles? That single question can be the first [00:04:00] step out of chaos. And feeling so good about balance and having a busy that works with your goals, but also is in alignment with balance.

I definitely have a full life. A lot of people would call it busy. I don’t know why I can’t, okay. I just can’t. But I get that it is very full, but I also feel balanced. This is so funny because as I’m saying this, what is this podcast called? It’s called Balancing Busy, and that’s the thing. Our lives are going to be full.

My life is very full and it can feel balanced too. So here’s what I hope you take from this episode. Being busy doesn’t have to be a problem. Being busy without purpose is life’s always gonna have full seasons. But there is a world of difference between being tired because you’re building something meaningful and being tired because you’re just trying to keep up.

So the next [00:05:00] time that you hear yourself saying, I am just so busy, just pause and check in. Okay. So for me personally, I actually try really hard to not use the word busy. I don’t use the F word and I try not to use the busy word. And the reason behind this is that. I feel like it can just suck you in so fast.

I don’t want busy to be part of my identity, and if I do use it, I really try to pause and check in with myself to figure out why am I using it? Am I in productive, busy, or is this chaotic, busy? And depending on which one it is, do I need to adjust? It really comes down to these questions. Are you making intentional choices?

Ones that align with what matters most to you, or are you just reacting to everything that demands your attention? Because one version of busy, it builds a life and the other, it just fills the calendar, and you deserve more than a full schedule. You deserve a full. Joyful, intentional life. I feel like we as women have a really complicated relationship with [00:06:00] busy.

Somewhere along the way, busy became more than a schedule status. It became a measure of worth. We were praised for being the one who could do it all, who juggled every ball and never dropped a single one. And over time we started equating our busyness with our value. The fuller the calendar, the better the mom, the harder the worker, the more devoted the friend.

But here’s the catch. The mindset keeps us trapped because not all busy is created equal. So if we don’t do the work to understand what kind of busy we’re in, we can just be being sucked dry. There is productive, busy and there is chaotic, busy, and they feel wildly different. Productive, busy has intention behind it.

It’s effort directed towards what truly matters. Even if the day is full, it’s purposeful. You end it tired, but you’re satisfied because you move the needle on things that count. Chaotic, busy, on the other hand, is just noise. It’s. [00:07:00] Over committing, over functioning and constantly reacting instead of leading out the work.

The real deep work is. Untangling our worth from that chaos, it’s reminding ourselves that rest is not laziness. Saying no is not selfishness, and doing less can actually mean living more. It’s learning to pause before we say yes and ask, is this actually aligned with what truly matters to me, or am I saying yes because I feel like I should?

When we start to shift that belief, we stop chasing the gold star of busyness and we start building a life that feels rich and intentional and deeply fulfilling. So where are you with busy? What adjustments do you wanna make? And while we can absolutely be productive, busy, there must also be margins built in.

You have to be able to sleep. You have to be able to rest. You have to be able to [00:08:00] do those things that take care of you. When we move too far into any form of busy, productive, or chaotic for too long, you’re going to start flirting with overwhelm. We can be productive and balanced simultaneously. All starts with noticing.

How do you feel, where are you at, what are you feeling when your head hits the pillow at night? The ultimate goal that I have for you is to get to feel productive and balanced simultaneously, and that is absolutely what you deserve. I hope that you take this conversation and you have it with someone that you love.

Go share this episode with your bestie, with your sister, with your mom, and talk about it. Where do you feel like you’re each at? Do you feel like you’re spending too much time with chaotic, busy, or have you been getting to flirt with productive busy lately? And what has that felt like? How good have you felt?

Where do you see the line when it might go [00:09:00] too far? Help each other. So much better together. And when we have these conversations together, we can undo the societal ideas that we all carry with this relationship with busy as if it’s a badge of honor. It’s not doing any of us any favors living in hustle, living with this busy badge on our sleeve where we’re trying to make sure everybody can just see how full our schedules are, because somehow that makes us more important.

It doesn’t, it doesn’t. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to have white space. In fact, you’re not only allowed but to be the best version of yourself, you need it there. So go have this conversation, share this episode with your favorites and say, I wanna talk about this with you. Listen, and let’s chat.