I constantly seem to have to reel my dreams back in. Not because I’m afraid that they are to big but because I have to put myself back in check and remind myself that what I’m dreaming about at that moment, isn’t really what I want.
Sometimes I start dreaming about the awesome studio I have on some uber chic downtown boutique drive. Placed strategically across from cool restaurants and a yummy Belgium chocolate shop (I always dream in chocolate). I dream of how I would design it and the employees and it starts turning into this fantastic little reality that I absolutely must have …and then… I have to slam my breaks and remind myself that the dream I was just running rapid with does not include a stay at home mom. That the full time working diva in my head would have to order ‘take out’ because she has no time to cook and pays tutors because she’s not there to teach. I’m most definitely NOT making any judgments on those who may have accomplished such a dream, heck I’m trying to steal their reality for a few moments of my own.
Sometimes it’s really easy to get caught up in a concept that at first glance may seem wonderful but upon further investigation exposes some horrible flaws that wreak havoc on our most precious priority – FAMILY! I’m just saying for me (this girl typing at this desk) that’s not the right dream. So I put things in perspective, slip the lavender scented sleeping mask Β down over my eyes and begin a new dream. Β They don’t get any smaller just more cohesive for the rest of my life which I have to remember is pretty dreamy with three beautiful children, a loving husband, the ability to learn and good health and that’s pretty great all on it’s own!
I dream that, too. Everyday. And I think about maybe after all the kids are in school, maybe. And if I only work a few days a week at the studio after school. Maybe. But for now, I need to be happy just where I am!
I never imagined once I was a mother that I would continually be battling that inner struggle, trying to find that perfect balance that works for my as an individual as well as my family. For every mother out there we each strive to achieve that balance in our own way. For some its having that studio, for some its being home with the kids more, no way is wrong, its just what works best for them. An inner struggle that every mother has. It’s always fun to take a step back and re-evaluate that balance and dream a bit as well π
I think we’ve all done that. I think as a small business owner we’ve got our jobs on the brain…all the time. So it’s no wonder that occasionally we start contemplating grandiose ideas of where we’d like to be, what it would look like, how it would feel. But we all have something that brings us back to reality and reminds us that right now – where we are and what we’re doing is a dream in and of itself. Whenever I get to take a break from work and enjoy some time with my husband – I’m reminded to be satisfied with what I have in this moment. π
A friend of mine once mentioned that she finally realized she WAS living her dream! She’s a SAHM of 5! I guess we naturally always like to think about what may be next or what more we could do or have (and I do like that office photo!) But this is a good reminder to look at where we are at and what we already have and just be grateful for it! It’s funny to think that if I were to have known as a teenager that I would one day be married to handsome soldier, and be a mom of four children with a photography business on the side– I think I would have thought that was just DREAMY! π
I completely understand! I have that same dream sometimes, and I have to remind myself that I have chosen to work from home, share an office with my husband and meet clients in the living room so that I can be home with my daughter. She is only 9 months old, so it will be a long time before I even consider going away from working at home.
My more realistic dream is to sell our current home and purchase a slightly larger home on 1-2 acres of land. We will build a studio for my business on the property, but it will be separate from the house, and I will use the land to create my own outdoor portrait set-ups so that I don’t have to go all over town to get a variety of different looks. Of course, this plan hinges on the real estate market going back up so we can sell our house… π
Good point. See my ultimate dream is to have a full stay-at-home mom experience as a photographer (when the husband and kids come along!), so your photographer-mom life looks pretty ideal right now:)
agreed.
but it is fun to dream … π
i do that SAME thing! it makes it worse that i have been mentored by a photographer who has that EXACT studio with the coffee shops and hip restaurants right out the door…and to make matters worse… a BEAUTIFUL assistant! so *snap*snap* wake up and back into MY reality! i have 4 kids under the age of 10. i don’t want to lose perspective of what is my number ONE job…them! but oh it is so hard some weeks!
I completely understand Spanki!! Why is it so dang easy to loose perspective?
I’m a BIG dreamer. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dreaming big! But we all have to take a step back, like you did, and realize sometimes those big dreams arn’t right for us. I love how life tends to give us exactly what we need when we need it. There have been many times in my life when I couldn’t see why I was being taken down a certain path…but in hindsight it’s perfectly clear! I hope my career path leads me in a direction where I can be succesful doing what I love, much like you Leah! I have a dream of loving my career and balancing it with family and friends…for now that looks big enough to me!
I wish I was better at making the future a little more decisively clear, as hindsight always is… Oh how much trouble I would save myself.
Leah, how wonderful that you “slow down” your plans for your kids. That makes me admire you even more. That’s not an easy thing to do, but you’re right they are the most important. They grow up so fast and soon enough they’ll be out the door π
BTW is nice that you have an opportunity to choose, some moms (my case) don’t.
xoxo
Thanks Silvana! And yes you are so right… I’m one of the very lucky ones who got to choose exactly what I wanted to do and be – a mom – that’s VERY worth appreciating. I hope one day you will get to do and be exactly what you want to be too!
Just what I needed to read…
Everything happened so fast that I feel like a huge snowball rolling down a hill. Things just keep piling up and I am looking at, where do I go next? What should I do differently? Should I have a studio? Should I find a new prop, or background, or new…. STOP! RELAX! and appreciate what is happening now. Be thankful for where I am right now. Appreciate my kids and my husband, and my life now. *big breath*
Thanks for the fresh air. π
Leah, I love your dreams and how you don’t skimp on anything! It inspires me π
I also happen to love your incredible family and what you’ve got going on there…I think you are doing a fabulous job at currently living the best of both dream-lands! π
Thanks Care! Love you!!
Thank you SO much for that honest post. It spoke to me exactly where I am right now. As much as I want to dream, I sometimes forget that the little people in my life are my main priority. I’m going to rereading this post often to keep myself on track!
Not only are they are main priority but they are our TRUE dream come true. I feel ashamed to even have to ask how it is that we as mommy’s can forget that? Cause if we lost them we’d give all of this up for even ONE SECOND back with them.
Ditto! I have that same dream and the same tendency to go for it and then the same reality check that it doesn’t fit with my true dream to be with my gorgeous children!
I’m so glad I’m not alone! π
Thank you for posting this. I keep finding myself dreaming of a business that, in reality, would destroy the work/family/life dynamic I have worked so hard to create. I love to think (and dream) big, but what I’ve got going is pretty darn amazing, too. It’s easy to forget when I’m flipping through magazines or driving through my favorite neighborhood in town (wishing I could plant a studio right in the middle of it). When my kids are grown and off to college I can evolve into whatever feels right then. I just hope I am still feeling energetic and inspired when the time comes!!
If you strive to maintain balance and put your family first I know that you’ll have the inspiration and energy you’ll need. {Promise!} It’s when we push to hard and to fast unprepared for how to handle it all that we burn out and those dreams of later years will never come to pass because you’re candle will have been squandered long before.
I was sitting at my desk, crunching numbers on how I could afford a “space” (potential studio) I have my eyes on and whilst taking a break stumbled onto your blog for the first time! Thank you for reminding me why I am doing what I do!
Ellie, Well I’m so excited to have you especially since you commented your first time. Wow – Thank you! I hope to see you around here often! BTW – I love your name!