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Married Dating - How 3 Couples Make Time to Date

How 3 Couples Make Time to Date (#94)

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Today, we’re diving into the magical world of marriage and focusing on how 3 couples make time to date and keep that spark alive. You know, the kind of spark that makes you feel like you’re still the luckiest, even after 23 years of marriage? Yes, that’s the one.

In this episode, we’re going to hear from three incredible couples who have mastered the art of balancing busy while keeping their marriages blissful. So, let’s jump right in and learn from their experiences.

Kelli France: Kelli is a serial entrepreneur and a mom to four kids with personalities as diverse as different salsa flavors. From photography to direct sales, hosting a top 1% podcast: Finally Fearless, to now writing a book, she’s journeyed through various business ventures. In our original episode (Episode 13)we talked all about the behind the scenes of running a business and how to make marriage and date night a priority when you’re a busy mom and entrepreneur juggling so many balls!

Prioritizing Weekly Date Nights

First up, we have Kelli France, a dear friend and coaching client who has been married for over 16 years. Kelli and her husband, Matt, have been prioritizing weekly date nights since their oldest son was two years old. That’s dedication!

Kelli emphasizes the importance of making your spouse a priority, just like you did when you were dating. For her and Matt, Saturday nights are sacred. No matter how hectic the week gets, they always have their date night to look forward to. And here’s the kicker—they don’t plan their date nights in advance. Instead, they embrace spontaneity, which keeps things exciting and fresh.

Another fantastic tip for keeping date nights interesting, is buying Groupon deals for new experiences or creating a jar filled with date ideas to choose from. Or checking out the experiences section on AirBNB for your area. And let’s not forget about the power of double dates and group outings, which add variety and fun to their relationship.

Taylor Stimmel: My Own Husband of 23 years (now). If you want the full conversation, you can listen to our episode here…..Episode 16. Tay is the fun, and I’m the responsible. He’s always trying to plan some get away for us, convincing me that we probably won’t be able to make it happen later because of this or that. And yet, someone, we make those happen too.

I am deeply aware of how lucky I am to have married a man who even after more than two decades, thinks it sounds more fun to drag me with him on the errand (“so we can hold hands”) than to go alone. I on the other hand – if we’re going full confession – love to be alone!

Making Time for Adventure

Next, we hear from my own husband, Taylor. He stresses the importance of finding balance between work and play. Taylor and I have always made it a priority to take regular getaways, whether it’s a quick overnight stay at a local hotel or an adventurous trip abroad.

Taylor encourages couples to break away from the daily grind and explore new experiences together. From impromptu vacations to spontaneous day trips, he believes that making time for fun and adventure strengthens the bond between partners.

Camille Whiting: Camille Whiting’s story is a tale of a marriage-phobic MBA grad meets rocket scientist, who convinces her to believe in love again. A pact was made — one date a week, no matter what to keep love alive. This spawned Friday We’re in Love, a lifestyle blog with an emphasis on dating, marriage, and family, with a fun date night every Friday. 
Camille is an infertility miracle mom, and always finding the next fun experience to inspire others to get out and date more! 
Featured In: Woman’s Day, Southern Living, The Pioneer Woman, the Huffington Post, The Arizona Republic, and Brit+Co

You can hear our full episode on all things marriage and dating in Episode 48

Reviving Stale Date Nights

Last but not least, we have Camille Whiting, the mastermind behind Fridays We’re In Love. Camille shares her personal journey of prioritizing date nights with her husband, even during the busiest of times. She believes that dating your spouse is essential for maintaining a strong and fulfilling relationship.

Camille offers practical advice for couples struggling with stale date nights. You can follow her social media accounts for fresh date ideas or try her recommendation of attending a comedy show or trying new activities to inject some excitement into your relationship.

Marriage Books I Love:

Let’s talk about three amazing books I shared that have truly impacted my marriage journey. I know that not all marriage books are created equal; some can leave you feeling frustrated or misunderstood. But these three have been game-changers for me and my relationship:

  1. Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray: This book offers profound insights into understanding the differences between men and women, emphasizing how these differences can affect communication and relationships. In a concise and accessible manner, Gray provides practical advice on how to navigate these differences and foster greater understanding and harmony in your marriage. What makes this book even more appealing is its brevity; it’s a quick read packed with valuable insights.
  2. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks: While not specifically a marriage book, I believe this book should be essential reading for couples. The Big Leap delves into the concept of the “upper limit problem,” which explores why we often sabotage ourselves when we’re on the verge of experiencing greater success, happiness, or love. Hendricks offers strategies for overcoming these self-imposed limitations, helping couples unlock their full potential and deepen their connection.
  3. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman: Dr. John Gottman is renowned for his research on relationships, and this book is a culmination of his findings. Using scientific insights, Gottman outlines seven principles that are essential for building and maintaining a healthy marriage. From fostering communication and understanding to managing conflict constructively, this book provides practical strategies backed by research to help couples strengthen their bond and create lasting love.

These books offer valuable guidance and insights for couples at any stage of their relationship journey. Whether you’re seeking to deepen your connection, navigate challenges, or simply enrich your marriage, these resources provide invaluable tools to support your journey toward a fulfilling and enduring partnership.

So, what’s the key takeaway from these three amazing couples? It’s simple—prioritize your spouse, schedule regular date nights, and embrace spontaneity and adventure. By investing time and effort into your relationship, you can keep the spark alive and continue falling in love with your partner over and over again.

Links You Need:

Fun date nights in your inbox weekly:

Free: A year of Dates ( (

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray:

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks:

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman:

Other Episodes You’ll Love:

Episode 13: BTS: Outsourcing, Systems, and Keeping Our Spouses Feeling Like a Priority with Kelli France

Episode 16: Courage to Try with Taylor Stimmel

Episode 48: The Secret To Married Dating: How to Date Your Spouse with Camille Whiting

[00:00:00] Leah: You are listening to episode 94 of the Balancing Busy Podcast and we are talking about balancing the blissfulness in our marriage. Really that’s what it comes down to. We’re talking about how you systemize, which sounds like. You would lose all the fun, but actually it’s amazing. It doesn’t. So how you systemize dating, how you keep novelty and you don’t let it get stale, that seems like those are oxymorons.

[00:00:59] Leah: But again, I’m going to show you it’s not. And we are going to get to hear from three different couples, three different experiences of how we’ve maintained dating. So first you’re going to hear from my amazing girl Kelly France. She is a coaching client of mine who I have been working with forever. She is also one of my dearest friends and I love the way her and Matt Do marriage.

[00:01:24] Leah: It’s just so good. I’ve been watching it for 15 years, and so you are gonna hear from her as she shares Some of the things they put in place to keep Dating fresh and to keep it something that they know they can count on and it doesn’t fall through the cracks Then you’re actually gonna hear from my own husband You are gonna hear from Taylor and he’s gonna give you his perspective Which will be really fun and he’ll kind of share some of the things he thinks we’ve done Right, and then finally you are gonna hear from from Camille 

[00:01:53] Leah: and her entire brand is about dating your spouse. Like, that is all she does. So, she has so many great tips. This is kind of just a something fun and different. Since we’re on Valentine’s Day week, I wanted to do this compilation episode about dating your spouse from three of my favorite episodes we’ve ever had talking about marriages and relationships.

[00:02:14] Leah: So, let’s jump in and hear what Kelly has to say first.  I just think that you have done this so well, and I want people to get to here is making time for your spouse because we all talk about.

[00:02:30] Leah: You know, kids versus business that gets talked about all the time. True mm-hmm , but I don’t think people talk enough about making our marriages a priority, making our, our partner get to feel as important as they did when we were dating. And when we were in the newlywed stage and I know that both of us make dating our spouse a huge priority. So will you kind of share what that looks like in your marriage?

[00:02:56] Kelli: Yeah. Matt. And I have been doing weekly date nights since my oldest son was two. He’s now 18. So, we started 16 years ago and we’ve been doing it ever since. And I think it’s cuz I read the love languages. Book, 

[00:03:13] Kelli: and that one was fascinating to learn my love languages and to learn my husband’s love language. Well, my love language is quality time and I realized I didn’t feel like I was getting quality time from my husband, because it’s so hard when you have little, little kids, right. To feel like you’re getting.

[00:03:32] Kelli: An uninterrupted conversation or just, you know, him looking you in the eyes or, time to hang out and do fun things together. And so we started all the way back then. , and we always just. Date night is Saturday night. It’s always the reason we chose Saturday night, Leah is because by the end of Saturday, you know, all the kids are home from school on Saturday. By the end of Saturday night, we were like, ha, we need to get out. Like we need to get away.

[00:04:01] Kelli: So that is why it’s on Saturday night and not Friday night. So anyway, it’s always been Saturday night and that’s just been really great for us because, We know that no matter how crazy the week gets, we, we have Saturday night to look forward to 

[00:04:16] Leah: so with date nights, we do the exact same thing. We do a weekly date night. We have forever. Um, how do you keep date night from becoming boring? Okay. If you know, every single week you’ve got a date night, I think people are probably wondering. how do you keep it?

[00:04:35] Leah: Where it doesn’t just become like, oh, it’s something we have to do versus being versus looking forward to it. Being excited. 

[00:04:41] Kelli: So I’m gonna be honest. We don’t plan them in advance and, but I’m gonna say they’re not boring because number one, I get to eat out it’s and I’m a huge foodie.

[00:04:50] Kelli: So there’s that. Um, and it’s just uninterrupted conversation with my husband, so I don’t consider it boring. Even if we do. You know, eating out and then just going to like the grocery store , which is 

[00:05:03] Leah: sometimes case, I think that is what you have to do. And like, nobody there, we have had those kinda dates too, where it’s like, I really need to hit up Costco.

[00:05:10] Kelli: Yeah. But, um, so that’s kind of your typical day night, and I’m totally okay with that. Um, okay. But you need to share your, your, your tricks cuz you have some good. 

[00:05:21] Leah: Okay. Well, I love that because, and I always think it’s so helpful. Like I wanna hear more than one way it works, right?

[00:05:26] Leah: Yeah. So then I can like, okay, well what would work for us? So I love that. So we definitely sometimes do that. Like, it is very like, all right, let’s, let’s go out. What are we doing? And we’re making it up on the fly. Um, when my kids were littler, especially, and I really was like, I need an outlet now. I feel like we, all of our, you know, two of our kids drive, they, they all take care of themselves a lot more.

[00:05:49] Leah: So we actually probably. A couple date nights a week. You know, some that’s are very, very spontaneous, like nobody know is gonna notice. If we leave right now, let’s go. And we like, you know, go have it, have lunch or, or whatever. And then we, we have more of like our formal, you know, like planned date night mm-hmm um, when the kids were younger, one of the things that I did is.

[00:06:10] Leah: And I don’t even know if it’s a thing anymore, but living social and Groupon, I would buy tons and tons of those. I mean, I would go through all the time. Right. And I’d look, and I’d just rack ’em up. So then when we’re getting ready for date night, I’d be like, all right, we got salsa. CELs we’ve got glass blowing, we’ve got this restaurant we’ve got, I mean, I would just literally buy all these different things.

[00:06:31] Leah: So it, we didn’t have to think too hard. We just went to the list and like, what do we wanna do? Mm-hmm another time. Uh, when we were, when we were first, first married, we both came up with 25 things we would like to do for a date. We put ’em into a jar and then we would pull one out. So, oh, cute. Sometimes it would be something totally for him going to a sporting event.

[00:06:51] Leah: Other times it would be something totally for me going and getting pedicures, which he loves pedicures. So he never complains about that. Mm-hmm um, but we would, you know, kind of shift so that, that would help. We also really love alternating between group dates and double dates and things like that. And then dates just the two of us.

[00:07:07] Leah: So that changes it up a bit. 

[00:07:10] Kelli: Yes. Right. Highly. I, I highly recommend double dates cuz it, it shows like a different side of your husband. Don’t you think? 

[00:07:16] Leah: Yes. It’s so fun. Yeah. We do a lot, a lot of, um, group dates and double dates. Mm-hmm and it’s really fun. And especially, you know, just kinda putting on your radar, what things are coming into town, what things are happening.

[00:07:28] Leah: We have a couple comedians that we love. And so we’ll, you know, if we notice they’re coming into town, we like send out the mass text who wants to go yeah. Right. And create, you know, those kind of fun things, fun things also. So we both do the weekly date nights. We both do getaways.

[00:07:44] Leah: We both have made that a priority too. Yes. And we do, ’em a little different, but that’s also been a thing. So tell us how you do yours. 

[00:07:53] Kelli: Yeah. So when we first got married, I remember, um, an older man that went to church with us, gave us like the best advice. He was like, listen, you’ve gotta make quarter.

[00:08:04] Kelli: overnighter is a priority. He’s like, that’s been huge for my marriage. And I was like, I’m down, cuz I am all about fun. So, um, we have been doing that for 22 years and sometimes it was harder when we lived away from family and you know, our kids were a lot younger.

[00:08:23] Kelli: and we’ve always, we’ve lived away from family, most of our marriage. Um, but now that our kids are older and we can, we, you know, we can leave them overnight. Sometimes that’s been great. We’ll just go to a local hotel. Like we don’t even like leave this state. Yeah. We’ll just go to a local hotel, go out to dinner, swim in the pool, whatever, you know, we’ve, we’ve gotten like bike ride, you know how some hotels give.

[00:08:50] Kelli: The free bikes. Um, but those have been some really magical moments that just help you reconnect together. So I highly recommend doing quarterly overnighters, if you can. I 

[00:09:05] Leah: love how simple you majors. I’m gonna say, I think, I think we overcomplicated ours a little bit too much Um-huh and so I really, really love like this idea of realiz.

[00:09:16] Leah: You can literally go to a hotel in your own town. It’s it’s just about getting away with just the two of you. 

[00:09:23] Leah: You have to keep reconnecting because one day your kids are gonna be gone. And when they are, you have to still love being around each other. So it’s whatever, you know, whatever. we each in our season of life need it to be, but it’s just prioritizing. Right. It’s just prioritizing yeah. Each other and making time to reconnect with one another. However, that looks, 

[00:09:45] Kelli: yeah. And I think it’s so important for your kids to see that, you know, we, we have the mom guilt, right.

[00:09:51] Kelli: Of like, oh, I don’t wanna leave my kids for X amount of days or whatever. And I think it’s so important for them to see that you are making each other a priority, you know? 

[00:10:03] Leah: Yes, it it’s so important cuz we want them to have happy, amazing relationships. Then we need to model that we need them to get, to see happy, amazing relationships.

[00:10:14] Leah: And, and that’s a work in progress. They’re also gonna see. You know the mistakes too, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think we would do them a disservice if they only saw perfection, because then when they can’t leave live up to that, they think there’s something wrong with them. Mm-hmm , it’s, you know, we’re certainly not, not suggesting that we need to show this perfect relationship cuz no one has that, but I agree.

[00:10:36] Leah: I think they need to see that love that gives them safety and security. And, and it’s something to work on, you know, like we’re, we’re all where we’re at and that’s okay. And, and I know that everyone’s in different relationships, different situations. And so wherever we are, when we show, you know, just presence and love and making our kids feel like they’re a priority and the things that we say matter to us, that they can see that those are a priority then yeah.

[00:11:07] Leah: Then that’s, that’s what matters.  

[00:11:10] Leah: Wasn’t that so good? I love the idea of just making rituals within your marriage, and so Kelly and I each have that with the getaways, I love how Kelly does the quarterly One night getaway, we do the same thing. You’ll hear Taylor about to tell you about how we also do one week every single year. And then, you know, just those weekly date nights.

[00:11:34] Leah: It’s really about creating rituals, or maybe you could use the word traditions, but these moments that you can count on. And then comes the trick of now how do we make sure that these traditions Stay fun, right? That they don’t become stale. So that’s gonna be, as we keep going through this episode, one of the things that we really talk about.

[00:11:56] Leah: I wanted to say though, before we jump in and hear from my own hubby, I wanted to just share with you three of my personal favorite books that can help with a marriage. I know we’re all at different places and If you would like to strengthen your marriage, these are three that have been really, really powerful for me, and I’m going to be honest, I kind of tend to not like marriage books.

[00:12:19] Leah: They typically make me mad. I probably should not confess that, but I have read several where I am like steaming mad when I’m done. Because essentially it feels like it’s like, ladies, if they do anything to help, Be so grateful, and I just have zero tolerance for that. So, three that actually have been really powerful and influential for me are, number one, men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

[00:12:43] Leah: It is so short. It’s like two hours. So, if you have never read that, it’s by John Gray, uh, who is a PhD. If you’ve never read that, Please go read it. It really is so powerful, and it’s definitely one that would be so good to read together. Second one. This is actually not a marriage book. Okay? It’s not a marriage book, but I think it should be.

[00:13:04] Leah: So this is The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. This one will help you realize when your marriage seems to be doing really good and then all of a sudden fireworks show up and it’s not the good kind and you’re like, what the heck happened? We were doing so good. This explains that and it helps you to see where you are getting stuck.

[00:13:26] Leah: It’s called the upper limit problem. I’ll give that away, but the big leap. So, so good. This is any area of your life where you seem to keep getting stuck. You know there’s potential for more and yet, You hold yourself back. So, The Big Leap Gay Hendrix. So good. And then the third one that I’m going to recommend is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

[00:13:47] Leah: That one is by Dr. John Gottman. And that is phenomenal. He is an incredible PhD, uh, researching out of University of Washington, which is my home state. And his work is just mind blowing. So, in all the work he’s done, he has Like a 94 percent accuracy rate on being able to tell if a marriage is going to stay together or not, it’s crazy.

[00:14:17] Leah: And it’s just by listening to conversations and watching body language. So his book, The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work, You’re gonna realize some things that you’re doing. You’re like, oh shoot, that is not good. But you can fix them and you’re gonna figure out things that you’re doing right and be like, oh good.

[00:14:34] Leah: Let’s amplify that. Okay, I wanted to share those three books with you. We’ll have them in the show notes as well. And now let’s go ahead and listen to my own hubby share what he thinks is important in a marriage to keep it fresh

[00:14:47] Taylor: I think the other thing too, that Leah and I did really well and still continue to do, is for one, we continued to date each other even though we’ve been married for 21 years and we found time.

[00:15:01] Taylor: take away from work. I think a, a, a lot of things that, that. You know, if you look at our parents’ generation, theirs was you work, work, work, work, work, work, work. Then you retire. Then your golden years happen and you can go and travel and do all those things, right? And they necessarily wouldn’t always take care of their health.

[00:15:19] Taylor: And then they get to those years and they’re like, These years suck. Like, I don’t feel good all the time. I, you know, I, I thought I was gonna travel and things come up. Right. I mean, think of all the people who are like, 2020 is gonna be the year that I travel. It’s the year I retire, it’s the year. And then they couldn’t do anything.

[00:15:34] Taylor: Right? So we also, through all of the entrepreneurship and different things, we find ways to, to get out of our normal safe zone and go out and do these things. We, we’ve been to Thailand, we’ve been. To Australia, We’ve been to Bali, we’ve been to, you know, Mexico a bunch of times and we’ll just be like, Hey, last minute, hey, there’s a quick, there’s a really good deal.

[00:15:58] Taylor: Let’s just go do this real quick. And we figure out ways to do that. And I think that’s really important too, is you can’t put the business so far ahead of everything else that you do lose sight of why you’re doing this, cuz I don’t think most people are in. To only work and you know, having little wins and having little vacations here and there, or just getaways, even if it’s just for a weekend.

[00:16:19] Taylor: We’ve done that so many times, um, is really important. And if you have little ones at home, you need to be getting away in my. This is just according to me, at least one week every year where you don’t have your kids anywhere around you. Talk to your parents, talk to your family, talk to your friends, see who can watch your kids.

[00:16:36] Taylor: And Lee and I did that. We made the rule, it was gonna be once a quarter. We were going to go at least on overnight somewhere. And then once a year we’d go for at least a week somewhere. And we’ve done that almost our entire 21 years of. I think the only times we probably didn’t Yep. Were when we were in Hawaii, uh, going through school there because we were essentially in paradise, right?

[00:16:56] Taylor: But we still found ways to get away and I think that that’s another part. You can’t just have business. I think that’s what we’ve done different a lot, is that we don’t just focus on the business a hundred percent of the time, . And I think that’s an important part of what’s made it different and allowed us to do these things. Cuz if, if, if Leah would’ve only thought about her, her business, which was thriving in my chiropractic practices that were, um, thriving, we never would’ve traveled outside the country for a year because that’s all we would’ve been thinking about.

[00:17:24] Taylor: Right? And so I think that’s another huge part of how you, you can get through. The understanding of how business and pleasure and fun and family can also work into it. If you’re always saying that, I’ll do that fun thing later, you’re probably not going to do it. 

[00:17:43] Leah: Hmm. It’s true. And we like fun. You especially like you are the fun one of our, of our marriage for sure.

[00:17:49] Leah: I am the more practical. Let’s do our chores first. And you’re like fun now. Work later. Um, but it works. Opposites attract, right? And it works. . 

[00:18:01] Leah: The last episode that we are going to pop into is with Camille, who runs the website Fridays We’re In Love. And we are going to get to hear from her and talk specifically about how to keep things from being stale, how to make time when you feel like you have no time, which I know my busy mamas can completely relate to, and if it’s been feeling hard.

[00:18:28] Leah: Stale, your marriage, it needs a bit of a revive. She’s got some answers for you as well. So let’s jump into this last clip

[00:18:37] Leah: Dating our spouse ongoing is so important. But you know, this podcast is called Balancing Busy. So trying to find time to date our spouse can feel hard. So let’s just start right off.

[00:18:49] Leah: Will you just share with us why you believe that dating your spouse is so important and, and what does, what does that mean to you? 

[00:18:58] Camille: Okay, well it means everything to me. Um, we started Friday. We’re in love for a very personal reason. So my husband and I did some pre-marital counseling and we were challenged to go on one date every week no matter what, and we were incredibly busy people at this time. Um, I was getting my mba, I’d actually had a full-time job also, um, towards the end of my program.

[00:19:20] Camille: And I’m like, dating, planning a wedding, all these things. I, I don’t even know how I, like, stayed alive with that busy time in my life, but I realized pretty quickly. That as we prioritized our time together, our relationship was different and it was so meaningful and it was so wonderful. And so we decided we didn’t really want that to end.

[00:19:38] Camille: We didn’t want those feelings of like, You know, engagement newlywed bliss to ever go away. And through counseling we were like, date night really is, it sounds like oversimplified. And I know it’s not like the panacea to every problem in a relationship, but it really is like one of the small secret sauce items that takes relationships from like, okay to amazing.

[00:20:00] Leah: I could not agree more. I have felt the same way where I have realized and recognized that dating your spouse ongoing is so, so critical. I. So we know that part. But I wanna start by just talking about, first of all, how we make the time to do that. Because it’s exactly what you said. You know, you were so busy when you started this challenge, and I love that you used the word prioritize.

[00:20:27] Leah: We’re totally going to, you know, dig into that. Yeah. Yeah. But how. How do you find the time? And I’ll share as well after, but how do you find that time to regularly date your spouse when life is so hard, and especially when kids come into the mix and you gotta find babysitters and you know, all those other things.

[00:20:47] Leah: Well, 

[00:20:48] Camille: first of all, it’s gotta be a mentality, right? Like, uh, you will find time for anything you really want. I learned that dating my husband, right? Like I’m so busy in with basically two full-time jobs, full-time MBA program, full-time working, and then all of a sudden this guy comes in and I often wouldn’t get outta class until like 10:00 PM and we would find.

[00:21:08] Camille: 30, 45 minutes, he would come meet me on campus and we would like go for a walk and talk. Like we would find these little teeny pockets of time that we could date each other. And I think if you decide you’re too busy, you’re gonna be too busy. If you decide this is something that matters to me, I. You are going to find time.

[00:21:27] Camille: I have found couples in like the most almost impossible situations that really do have every excuse, still find time to date. Let me give you an example. I had a coworker once. They had three little kids and their wife was pregnant with a fourth. She was getting her doctorate degree, I believe she was becoming a doctor.

[00:21:45] Camille: She’s in her third year. She’s incredibly busy. He is running a marketing agency, and they just were like, Crazy all the time. Right? They really had limited resource, limited time, all the things. Um, she had one day a week she was like nearby our office and he would ask me to cover an hour with his clients so that he could go take an extended like two hour lunch and actually date his wife every week.

[00:22:09] Camille: And I was like, I love that. Absolutely. Like I lost. So good. You can find time, right? Like you can find your way if you want it. You will make it happen. So I feel like that’s the first part is just like get a date night mentality. Be like, we will make this happen. We are super busy, but can we fit it in?

[00:22:27] Camille: Where can we fit it in, even if it is like a once a week lunch date, because that’s what you can do at this phase of life. Okay. 

[00:22:33] Leah: I so agree. So good. Like if it’s a priority, you’re gonna make it happen. So you together need to make it that priority. Like this is not negotiable. This is a must. 

[00:22:45] Leah: Now I wanna shift, and as we wrap this up, I wanna talk about, for anyone who is saying and feeling like I. I don’t wanna admit this, like I don’t wanna raise my hand, but date nights feel kind of stale. Like, I think of the movie date night. If no one ha if, if you haven’t seen that, you should watch that on a date night.

[00:23:02] Leah: Cuz that’s a funny movie. Um, but you know, they’re like, they’re doing the same old thing, right? They go to the same restaurant or they go see Yeah. A movie every time. It’s, it’s, it’s just feeling stale. How, what would you offer as suggestions to help keep date night? Fun and new and, and vibrant and just feeling, feeling different.

[00:23:24] Camille: Okay, so I’ve got three, like right off the bat. Okay. Okay. So number one is, I think you should follow me a shameless plug, but like follow Friday, we’re in love on social media. On the blog we even have an email list, um, where we’ll like send you fresh date ideas every single week. So if you need like new fun things like.

[00:23:42] Camille: Follow us. We’re a real couple going on real dates, like sharing the thick of all the things, sharing like seasonal things every week on Instagram. I do like five dates to do this week, so I’ve 

[00:23:53] Leah: been watching those and they’re so fun. So I’m, I’m going to agree. That if you need ideas, that is a great place to go.

[00:24:03] Leah: One 

[00:24:03] Camille: resource. Um, I’m gonna give one for those of you, like truly in the trenches, like maybe even date night feels awkward or uncomfortable. You’re not in a great re like place with your relationship. It just really isn’t fun. Um, this is the date I tell everyone to go on to reconnect. You should go to a comedy show or to an improv show.

[00:24:20] Camille: You need to go laugh together. Something happens when you have like the chemical release of endorphins that helps you feel more love. The oxytocin’s going to, it’s gonna help you feel a little more connected and it’s gonna break the ice. So I tell anyone that’s like really, really stale, like go to one really funny comedy show and laugh together.

[00:24:41] Camille: It will reconnect you in ways like you couldn’t even imagine. Um, and along the same lines with like that dopamine hit is just the, like, you need to do something new. You need to commit to it. I think as married couples, especially when we’re together longer, we almost like enable each other to become like grumpy old people.

[00:24:58] Camille: Like, hear me out on this one. Right? 

[00:25:00] Leah: So I agree. 

[00:25:01] Camille: You go to a restaurant and you’re like, Oh, they have some new menu item and you’re like, uh, you don’t like, like vegetables very much. And there’s a few in there. So actually let’s just order what we order every single week. Like we’re kind of like, oh wait, you don’t like that?

[00:25:15] Camille: So why try anything new? Or why push you like into anything new? Or we j I don’t know. We just always want the other to be like comfortable, which I think is a great thing. But it’s not good for our marriages and our relationship because there is like scientific research that doing new things together, like triggers different things in your brain, right?

[00:25:33] Camille: You have a chemical release, you have that adrenaline rush, you have that dopamine rush, like new experiences and new activities are what? Make that happen. And so if you are doing the same, um, movie together, like even if movies are totally your jam, we like movies. We don’t share movies a ton cuz I feel like that’s the default that everybody does.

[00:25:54] Camille: But like, you need to find a way to mix that up. Go to a different theater. You need to have like your own little book club style discussion after. Like, what did you like about it? What did you think? What did you learn? What was your favorite? Like, things like that. You can get a little creative, but I would say, Take a step back from like the place you always eat, take a step back from like the theater you always go to like really, really, really shake up the routine.

[00:26:14] Camille: I know it’s like one more thing to think of when you’ve already had to book the babysitter. You’ve already had to like find time in your busy schedules. You’ve already had to like cram in so many different things. It will make all the difference to actually like plan something new and novel because that is like truly the secret sauce to unlocking all those.

[00:26:31] Camille: Brain chemicals that help you feel more love. So yes, mentally get there, like make it happen. 

[00:26:38] Leah: No, I, so this was exactly going to be my answer too. Anyone who has ever been to any of my retreats, you just heard Camille completely confirm what I told all of you. Um, so I have been preaching this forever.

[00:26:51] Leah: Novelty is so important. In the dating process and with our spouse. 


[00:26:59] Leah: Here’s what I hope you walked away from through these three different clips that we pulled from these different episodes. Number one, we have to prioritize our spouses. Bottom line, we have to make them a priority. The way that we did when we really were dating and there wasn’t a ring on it yet.

[00:27:20] Leah: Number two, the only way that dates are going to happen with our spouse is if we make a plan and we schedule it. So figure out what that looks like and pencil it in and make it a reoccurring date that shows up. Haha, fun. Okay. Reoccurring date that shows up week after week after week. Figure out how you’re going to make it work.

[00:27:41] Leah: Get creative if you need to. Believe me, we have had every version of date night. In fact, when the kids were really little and we were really poor, he was in graduate school at the time, we set up a, like, dating group where there was four couples. One Friday a week, we had everybody’s children. It was pandemonium.

[00:28:06] Leah: Honestly, it was horrible. But we couldn’t afford a babysitter, so it’s what we did. And then the other three nights, we got to go out and have free babysitters ourselves. So, we have done everything from creating a babysitting date night pod to being able to hire babysitters to our kids being old enough where we can leave anytime we want because they don’t need supervision.

[00:28:31] Leah: In, what are we at, 23 years of marriage now, we’ve experienced it all, but through all of the seasons of our life, we’ve made dating a priority, and it has made all the difference. And if you want to go and listen to any of those episodes in their entirety, You first heard the episode with Kelly France. That’s episode 13 called BTS Outsourcing Systems and Keeping Our Spouses Feeling Prioritized with Kelly France.

[00:29:00] Leah: The next one was from episode 16. These are early ones. Courage to Try with Leah and Taylor. So that’s the one with my hubby. And the last one you heard was episode 48, the secret to married dating, how to date your spouse with Camille Whiting. So there you go. I hope this has inspired you and just given you that little extra spark, especially right now as we’re thinking about love to rekindle, reignite, and keep that fire so that You can truly feel like you are dating your spouse forever and falling in love over and over and over with one another.

[00:29:38] Leah: I’ll see you next week as we take on another topic and look for how we can be all the things without having to do all the things as we try to Balance the busy and create that true work life harmony.

[00:29:51] Leah: See you soon. 



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