[00:00:00] This is episode 14 of the Balancing Busy Podcast, where we seek out more happy and less hustle. I’m Leah Rela. Let’s jump in and replace busy with better. So this episode is for anyone feeling a little just off. Maybe you’re feeling off in your marriage with your business goals, or you’re just not loving the way that those genes are fitting these days.

[00:00:52] It can be anything and any area of your life. This episode is going to not only get you on track, but we’re going to do it in a way that you can sustain and maintain it. In other words, this has the power to actually stick. And that was life changing for me because I am a very all in personality. I’ll talk about that more later.

[00:01:18] But because of that, I would jump all into these things, but I couldn’t maintain them when I made this shift. It was life changing. It really was that missing piece to the puzzle that finally made it stick for me, and I think it can do the same thing for you. So in this episode, I’m going to walk you through my Purpose Driven Living assessment.

[00:01:43] I use this for myself and with all of my private and coaching group clients. I think I designed it eight years ago now, and I love it. I have been using it for the last eight years, and I really have seen such a remarkable difference. So I’m really, really excited to share it with you today. The idea for me goes something like, I want to thrive, not just survive, but then I have to ask myself, Okay, well what does thriving mean to me?

[00:02:13] What does thriving look like for me? It means that all of the areas in my life feel good. That doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m excelling at every single one of ’em because I’m human, and I’ve honestly just found that it is very hard to be at the top of your game in every area of your life. I haven’t figured out how to do that yet when we’re pushing really hard in one.

[00:02:36] Another has to give a little, I mean, that’s just natural. That’s humanity. But therein lies the key. And the key that I had been missing was a little, The other areas should give a little, so one area may have to give a little, but I don’t wanna create an imbalance where I allow an area to be given up entirely.

[00:02:59] That’s the beginning of a rockside, and I want you to go with me with this analogy for a minute. So if you’ve ever driven on a mountainside and you can see those bracings that are holding up the mountain, well, I think of. Areas, all the different areas of my life. As these individual bracings, each one needs to stay standing.

[00:03:21] If I let one go completely, then I lose strength and stability. Things get precarious. Now, here’s the next part of the puzzle. The work should be slow, intentional, and at a pace that I can maintain, that you can maintain. I’m, like I said, a very all in kind of person. I tend to jump like full on into the pool.

[00:03:48] I don’t even remember to untie my shoelaces and take my shoes off. I just jump in and then I’m swimming as fast and as hard as I can. The problem is I can’t maintain that. I end up like essentially, you know, getting a cramp and suddenly I’m terrified that I’m drown. and the whole problem is, is I didn’t just ease my way in and go at a pace that I could maintain.

[00:04:14] I have done this in so many areas of my life, and then because of that, I’m this all in in one area, let’s say in area C. Then area A gets completely neglected and area B is holding on by a thread, and then pretty soon area C. That idea that I was so excited and motivated for and just fired up about has completely lost its Lester.

[00:04:40] I’m feeling grumpy and irritated and most likely resentful. Not what I want. I end up losing all of that fire. It just gets doused because I jumped in too hard, too fast without a plan that I could sustain. So here are the two things that I’ve learned to truly feel like I’m thriving in all the areas of my life.

[00:05:07] Number one. Thriving means all areas of my life that they all feel good, that they’re all in some version of forward motion. Number two, small needle movers in the areas that I feel need more focus. Makes greater, more long lasting progress and results than huge action steps that I can’t sustain. And that second part, I’m gonna just be so honest and say, it was so, so hard for me.

[00:05:40] It actually made me feel like anxious and irritated. This idea of not just jumping all in, not doing it all at once. I wanted to get 10 steps done on day one, not one step. But forcing myself to slow down, to pull back, it really has made all the difference. So if you are like me, if you know you, you get an assignment and it says you’re supposed to do it over a month and you see it and you’re like, Oh, I’m gonna do all of it today, and then.

[00:06:12] all the other areas just fizzle. If, If that resonates with you, not that you’re necessarily in school, I haven’t been in years, but if that resonates, then I really, really hope and encourage you, like, try this. Just give it a shot. I think you’re gonna be really, really surprised at, It might feel really awkward and hard in the early stages, but long term you’re going to.

[00:06:36] So what are these areas that I’m talking about that when we talk about the assessment, when we talk about this purpose driven living and all the different areas of of our lives, what are these areas? Well, first I wanna tell you that there are so many different ways that this has been explained, and I’m always fascinated and loved to hear it.

[00:06:56] The simplest way that I’ve ever heard says that there are just three areas of. Success, creativity, and relationships. And I like this. I mean, honestly, the more that I consider it, the more I can agree with it and that it really does come down to those three. However, for the purpose which we are after, which is living a purpose driven life that we love, I need a few more categories, and I’m guessing you do too.

[00:07:25] So these are the categories that I came up with. These are, when I say I wanna feel like I’m thriving in all the areas, these are my all areas, these are all the different places where I wanna feel really good. So they. Marriage or relationship, motherhood, Home, exercise and health. The fun part. So fun.

[00:07:50] Travel, recreation, business, finances, and wealth. And then finally, spirituality. Now I’m gonna walk you through the assessment and we’re going to do this Purpose Driven Living Assessment together. I’m gonna show you how to rank yourself and how to improve that ranking. And remember, we’re going for needle movers.

[00:08:14] We are not aiming for perfection, but we want progress. I wanna see my life get better and better, and I would bet that you agree and unbalanced life. It creates chaos and guilt and overwhelm, and a lot of that comes because we accidentally react to the people that we love, to the experiences that we’re given because we’re feeling off because there’s that level of off in some area of our life.

[00:08:43] we end up being reactive and creating angst, creating things that we just don’t really want in our lives. When we get all of these feeling good, it’s amazing how that just dissipates.

[00:08:59] This assessment will allow you to see how you’re really doing right now in each area of your life, and I think it’s a really important distinction to mention that right now. Maybe you’re caught in and off week, or maybe things are going especially exceptionally well because there’s something that normally would be on your plate that’s not.

[00:09:19] You can come back to this episode as often as you need to to evaluate the eight key areas of your life, or I have something special for you for listening to this podcast. I have created a download of the full assessment so that you can. Anytime you need it, anytime you need that reboot and all you have to do is go to assessment dott balancing busy.com.

[00:09:45] Pause this for a second. Text yourself really quick. Assessment dot balancing busy.com. You can go to it later and get that download. And now we are going to jump into the assessment. So I’m going to shift into coaching mode and I’m gonna talk you through this as if you and I were on a call together right now and I.

[00:10:07] Literally walking you through this, which I am. So let’s go ahead now. The first thing is we need to talk about the ranking. You’re going to rank yourself from a one to a 10. I want you to think of one as this is total despair. You just feel like you are absolutely failing in this area. There is probably a lot of guilt, uh, maybe some shame, which we don’t want in your life.

[00:10:30] There’s massive amounts of overwhelm, burnout. It is just. , if we moved to a three that would say it’s definitely weak spot. Uh, you’re either giving too much or nowhere near, but it’s, it’s feeling off a five. So that’s our halfway point, right? Sometimes solid, but often not. You’re unsure how to create that consistency.

[00:10:57] If we bumped up two to a seven, you’re sure that you can per improve, but the outlook is great. Like you’re feeling really good. A nine 88% empowered in this area of your life. I mean, I guess it should be 90%, but 88%. You’re like, I feel really good in this life. Like, yes, I could be a little better, but I’m killing it.

[00:11:18] I’m doing really great. And then a. Total bliss Things literally could not be better in this area. I mean, you should write the book. Why aren’t you writing the book? We need to know how you’re doing this. So 10, you are just, you’re killing it. I mean, you are a rockstar and this is, you are just ingenious mode in this area.

[00:11:42] All right, let’s go through. So you’re going to rank each area of your life. Marriage or that those key relationships, that key relationship, one to 10, go ahead and rank that. And we’re gonna go back and we’re gonna talk about how we make the improvements at the end. So I’m gonna go through ’em all and then, and then we’ll come back.

[00:12:05] Motherhood one to 10. If you’re not a mom, then those relationships that are that key key relationship for you that, uh, you pour into and. Feel fulfillment in so where, wherever that area is for you next home, your home life, one through 10. I like to think of this one when I’m thinking about it. I, I think about it as a whole.

[00:12:29] I’m like, okay, you know, having dinners and having a clean house and things feel organized and it feels calm and peaceful and happy. So I’m thinking about all these different. Next exercise and health. So again, I think in a little bit bigger sphere where I’m thinking about exercise, I’m thinking about sleep, I’m thinking about water, I’m thinking about what I’m eating, all those different areas, Next, fun, travel, recreation.

[00:12:59] This is the stuff that’s the spice of life, okay? The things that you have something to look forward to. You’re making time for fun, just having fun, whatever that means for you. So one through 10. Next is business. So this could be your career or your business, but how you are doing within, within that realm, one to 10.

[00:14:13] Next one. Finances and wealth. So you feel, how are you feeling about what’s inside your bank account? Setting yourself up for if anything, doesn’t go according to plan. Having that savings account, having retirement, uh, having investments. So finances and wealth. And the final one is spirituality. And this is very personal. This is your relationship between you and Almighty. How do you feel there? Do you want to draw closer? Do you need more of that light in your life? Do you feel like it’s great? So one through 10. Okay, so there’s all eight areas. Now the next thing I’m going to ask you to do is to consider and think.

[00:14:59] Which ones ranked the lowest? Those are the places we’re going to start with. So I like to find the bottom three. The bottom three areas where you feel like you ranked the lowest. We’re gonna prioritize with the one that has the lowest ranking, and then work our way up. And here’s where the magic happens.

[00:15:21] Our goal. Is only to move up one point. And this is really, really important and this is such a, a distinctive part of why this works because we’re not trying to jump from, I feel like I’m at a two and I’m gonna get to a 10 by tomorrow. We’re saying what is one thing that I could do right? that could move me one point up and it becomes a much smaller, more tangible thing.

[00:15:53] Now, over time, you are going to keep working up this ladder. You’re going to keep working to get yourself a little bit higher, a little bit higher. I wanna see you in this six to 10 range on every single one of them. But we’re gonna look at this and we’re gonna say, Okay, what is one small. Let’s say exercise and health is one that I’m ranking really low on, and I look at this and I say, Oh, I’ve been doing horrible.

[00:16:21] I really wanna get back to that. So I say, Okay, what’s one small thing that I could start doing? Maybe I decide drinking more water. I could try to drink X amount of water. Every day I’m gonna try to up my water. And so I say, Okay, that’s the first thing. And I work on getting that in place. Now, once that’s in place, maybe I decide I need to start moving more.

[00:16:41] I’m gonna try to go for a walk three days a week, and then maybe I’m eventually gonna scale that up to something more intense. But I’m looking for small needle movers. Let’s say I’m ranking really low on. . I’ve been so busy with all the things I need to do that I haven’t been making any time for the things that I want to do.

[00:17:03] And it’s affecting my family. It’s affecting my work because I’m grouchy, I’m irritable because I haven’t had any fun for quite a while. So maybe that’s where I’m saying, you know, I need to put in some fun. So I’m looking for one small thing I could do. I could text a girlfriend and say, Hey, let’s have lunch.

[00:17:21] When are you available? There is my one small thing that is going to make some progress towards fun, or maybe I decide I am going to book those tickets that I’ve been thinking about booking forever so that I have something fun to look forward to. Maybe it’s finances and wealth, and there’s some things that have been on that plate that you know you need to do that are going to help you take back control, feel more empowered, and so you sit down and you say, Okay, I’m carving out an hour and I’m gonna work on my budget.

[00:17:55] Or I am going to just see where all my bank accounts are at and begin to make a plan. Maybe it’s spirituality and you say, You know what? I’m gonna start. I’m gonna start making sure that I pray every day before my day starts. These are small, simple steps that we’re going to stack on top of each other, and you can see how if you started stacking on top of each other, just these little action steps.

[00:18:27] These little things, we’re not talking major amounts of time, major amounts of energy, major amounts of work. We’re talking little. individual steps that you stack these needle movers one on top of the other in a month. If you kept stacking these little moments that give you more how much richer your life could feel in 30 days, then think in 90 days.

[00:18:57] Then think one year from today where you could be at. So, I did mention, and I wanna say it again, depending on where you are today, right now, your numbers might be very, very different than they would’ve been last week, or they would be in one week. Maybe you and your spouse gone in an argument, and so you’re like, Well, today I feel like it’s really low.

[00:19:19] But overall, if you look over, you think, Well, no, we’re actually doing great. I should give myself a higher number. That’s why I like coming back and. Evaluating redoing the assessment from time to time because it is very interesting how much my numbers change from quarter to quarter or year to. . I love doing it with my clients as well, and then coming back with them and saying, Okay, these were the three things that you were going to do.

[00:19:47] How, how are we doing on ’em? Oh, I’m doing great. Excellent. Let’s add in another step then. Let’s bring in something else. So let me give you, just for the sake of, of all of this, let me give you some of the things that I really have done over the years as my little steps for mother. . One of the things was feeling like I wasn’t fun mom enough.

[00:20:13] I wanted to be more fun. Mom, and you maybe have seen this on my Instagram. I post, um, each month the fun holidays for the month, and this is one of those ways that I was like, I can up from, you know, a five to a six by. creating more fun moments, and then I make a plan, Okay, well how am I gonna do that? I went and I find the holidays that are just silly, like it’s National Pizza Day or National Chocolate Day, and then I make a silly fun celebration out of it that day.

[00:20:48] You guys, it’s National Pizza Day, so we are having pizza for dinner. And I’m able to be fun, mom, but it’s really, really simple. So if you love that idea, I’ve talked about it before, but if you love that idea, every month I share my fun holidays and how I’m gonna use them at the beginning of the month on my Instagram.

[00:21:07] So follow me on Instagram and you’ll be able to see those and you can just pick out the ones you want, drop it into your calendar, set an alarm. Tell Siri to remind you on this day that it is National Chocolate Day or whatever it. and then I’m able to just bring in more fun. Um, another thing I did years ago was specifically around motherhood, again, was wanting to be more intentional and more present.

[00:21:36] And so I set the intention. I said, Okay, my kids get home from school at three o’clock. I am going to put my phone to airplane mode, put it in a drawer, go put it on the charger, put it into focus mode, whatever. For three hours from the time they get home till after dinner, and that way I can be really there for them all in, not get distracted.

[00:22:00] That was a very simple step, but it made a huge, huge difference in your marriage. It can be as simple as thinking. Maybe we need to compliment each other more. So I’m gonna start and I am going to try to give one compliment every single day. That’s my one step. That’s my my one needle mover. I’m gonna start complimenting.

[00:22:23] That makes me need to look for the good them. Get to hear the good and. Positivity get to be infused back into the relationship. Or maybe you’re going a tiny bit bigger and you’re saying, We need to set up more dates. I am going to get a babysitter for this Friday, and I’m going to make sure we go on a date.

[00:22:44] That is my one point step. Maybe in your home you’re like, Oh, there are so many things that need work. But you’re gonna start with just one area. You’re gonna say, You know what, I’m just starting. Dinner time or getting the house cleaner or organizing that one area that’s been driving me crazy or working on the laundry.

[00:23:05] Start with one area and just give yourself one needle mover. And you can see, you can see how we take this in every single area, and we just look for small, simple steps that we can stack on top. Now there is one more part of the assessment that I haven’t told you about that makes us a little bit unique and different from others that you’ve seen, and that is that I believe that there are four areas of our life that when these are happening, we feel more vibrant, amazing, happy, joyful, grateful.

[00:23:40] Good. I mean, just life feels better. And when we are lacking these things, I really believe it takes the color out of living it. It just, it takes the color out of life. So I’m gonna ask you four more areas of your life, but instead of ranking these, these, you’re going to mark true or false. And then based on that answer, you are going to look for, how could I fix this?

[00:24:08] How could I adjust? How could I make this better? And again, we’re just looking for small, intentional needle moving steps that we can take that will make an impact that we can stack on top of.

[00:24:21] Okay, so here are the four areas and you are gonna decide if this is a true or a false novelty. I am introducing new experiences into my life. True or false? I could go on and on about this. In fact, I will probably do an entire podcast episode about this, but I really, really believe that a lot of people who are just feeling stuck, who are feeling like their life is just hamster wheeling.

[00:24:48] It’s the same old Sam old you have forgotten to bring novelty into your life. Now when you’re a. You cannot help it. There is novelty everywhere. There is new experiences being introduced into your life, whether you want them or not. You’re learning how to do all these things. You’re constantly having to learn and grow, but you’re also constantly being put into new situations.

[00:25:09] Every single year, you’re in a new classroom, new teacher, new experiences. Every single few years you’re in a completely new school, New experiences you are having milestone after milestone, whether. Riding a bike, going to your first dance, whatever it is. I mean, it’s new experience. After new experience.

[00:25:28] There’s tons of novelty and we talk about the zeal of, you know, children, the, the way that they look at life. They have this, this fire for life. This just. Passion and love, and I believe that so much of it has to do with novelty. If you have gotten into routines so much that there’s no new experiences, there’s not new things that are challenging you and pushing you and getting you uncomfortable, you probably feel like your life is stale.

[00:25:56] So true or false, I’m introducing new experiences into. , and I’m just gonna add in a little bit, like this is probably all gonna be its own episode, but this is also so critical in your marriage. One of the reasons that it was so fun at the beginning is cuz it was all new Now I just had my 21st wedding anniversary.

[00:26:22] We have been with each other. I’ve been married longer than, I’ve not been married at this point. in order to keep the fun, the joy, the excitement in our marriage. We have really, really worked to introduce new experiences into our marriage where we’re trying new things, we’re picking up new hobbies, we sign up for new things that are totally different, and out of our comfort zone, we’re introducing those new experiences.

[00:26:52] I, I really think you have to see this happen. Just in your life as the way that you live, but also in your marriage and in your business. Your business needs to have new experiences. We need to be innovating. We need to be evolving in our businesses as well. So novelty. Okay, next one, interaction. I’m creating focus time for the people that I love when we don’t feel like we’re truly connecting with the people who matter.

[00:27:25] it’s hard to feel that there is purpose in any of it. So are we creating that focus time for the people? I love, I shared how one of my things within moving up the needle for motherhood was setting my phone down, putting it away for a few hours, and that allowed me to create more of that focus time for my.

[00:27:52] But we can look at that in all the areas. Have you built that habit where when you’re talking with people, you’re checking your phone all the time, you’re feeling the buzz, you’re getting caught looking at, you know, jumping onto Instagram, maybe checking stories or watching reels, and you’re not being focused for the people that you love.

[00:28:12] They don’t actually get to feel like you are all in with them in that moment. ,

[00:28:19] This next one is so important to me and it is service. I look for opportunities to serve and give generously, true or false. If we wanna go from a limited mindset to an abundance mindset, if we wanna go from scarcity to a. . We need to give more. We need to look for how we can give more of ourselves. There is an incredible thing that happens that when we give, we somehow become more.

[00:28:50] We get more. We feel like we are more. I really believe that. Confidence is very much intertwined in our ability to be generous and to serve. Because when you serve others, when you are generous, you get to see the impact that you can make. You get to see that you are powerful, that you have the ability to make someone else’s life a little bit better, a little bit easier, a little bit kinder.

[00:29:24] and how can that not make us feel more confident? Because we feel more empowered, we feel more powerful. And the last one is commitment. I do what I say. I’m going to do. True or false? This comes down to our integrity. It comes down to. Who we truly are, what we believe about ourselves. Are you the person who says you’re going to do something and you don’t follow through, and therefore you don’t have a lot of trust in yourself When you say, I’m gonna exercise, you don’t believe it because you don’t actually ever do it.

[00:30:06] When you say that you’re going to get better at a certain thing in your business, that you’re gonna do something consistently, that you’re going to commit to the work that you don’t actually believe. And maybe the people around you don’t believe it either. So that question, do I do what I say? I’m going to do true or false?

[00:30:28] And then dig down a little bit. Drill down and say, if I said false, what areas. And is there a falsehood? But what areas? Is it true? Maybe you’re great at certain areas. Maybe you are great at your exercise. You do work out every single day. You do what you say you’re gonna do. You have made that commitment, but maybe there’s another area where you’re not.

[00:30:52] So be careful not to be too hard on yourself. I don’t know that any of us could say that there’s a general across the board. No. I don’t commit to these at all in any way, but there might be an area. So with commitment, I do what I say I’m going to do. If something popped into your mind immediately that you were like, Oh no, because of this, okay, That is your inner light telling you that needs to get adjusted, that needs to get fixed.

[00:31:21] So fix that, but also ask yourself, Okay, but where do I do a great job? Doing what I say I’m going to do, man, I’m saying the word do a lot, but where is an area where, where it is happening for me? And make sure that you recognize and notice that. So we’ve ranked the eight areas of our life, and then we’ve asked four true or false questions, which were around novelty, interaction, service, and commitment.

[00:31:49] I truly believe that when these areas. When we start making progress on each one just a little bit, just tiny little needle movers, just these little tiny steps that help us to move forward our entire life, the way that we live. It expands. It gets better and bigger and more opportunities start showing up, and we feel like we have the capacity.

[00:32:20] Be better. We start replacing the busyness. That we can often get trapped in, that we start feeling, that we start getting stuck in. That just feels like we’re going from thing to thing to thing without a lot of intention, without a lot of control even. And that shifts to where we feel more powerful.

[00:32:42] We feel more present, we feel more passionate. We feel more positive. Ultimately just better. We are replacing the busy with the better. Once again, if you want the full assessment where you can download it, you can look at it for yourself, make notes, write in what steps you wanna add in the margins, you can go to assessment dot balancing Busy dot.

[00:33:11] I highly encourage you to use this often. This could be something that you actually work into as something that is on your calendar, and you do it once a month or once a quarter. We recently had our episode all about a quarterly review. This is something that you could add into your quarterly review as one of your steps.

[00:33:29] You take the Purpose Driven Living Assessment and you check in and see where you’re doing because we aren’t about surviv. We are about thriving and thriving means that we feel good in all the areas of our life. Now, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re at a 10 in every area of our life because I don’t exactly know how you maintain a 10 in every area of your life, but think about how good it would feel if you were at a six to.

[00:33:59] In every area. If you felt like I’m doing good, I’m making progress, I feel in control, I feel empowered in all of these areas, how good that would feel. I want to encourage you, challenge you, beg you to make this a priority for yourself. It’s not just for you, it’s for your. Marriage. It’s for your kids. It’s for your family.

[00:34:29] It’s for the example that you’re setting for the kind of life that we each deserve. That your friends can see, that your children can see that, your spouse can see that, that people that you work with can see that, that others can watch and say, Wow, what are you doing? What’s different? How do I have more of this in my life?

[00:34:49] And then you can. Okay. That is this episode. Thank you so, so much for listening and being a part of it. I would love to ask you to take a moment right now, this very, very second. Speaking of generosity, let’s go ahead and just take this opportunity to be generous for just 20 seconds and go into wherever you just listen to this episode and leave a review, just one sentence.

[00:35:17] Whatever you wanna say about like, why you love this podcast, how it has helped leave a review five stars and share a sentence or two, that makes such an impact for me and for this podcast because, The way that you decide if you’re gonna listen to a podcast. Really the only metric you can check is how many reviews they have.

[00:35:37] So the more reviews you see, the more you trust, like, okay, I’ll give it a try. So that would mean the world to me, and it would help me so, so much. If you’d like to hear your own shout out, then leave me a review wherever you listen to your podcast. I check them all, and I would love to get to share what you have to say about the Balancing Busy podcast in our next episode.

[00:36:00] Thank you so much. This is the Balancing Busy podcast and I am Leah Rela here to help you replace busy with better so that you can have a business and a life that lights you up. You are worth it and you can do this.

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