Leah: [00:00:00] We are about to jump into this two part series where I have an amazing guest. You are going to get so much out of this. Now, I just want to remind you, anytime I have interviews and they go longer where there’s just so much good stuff that I don’t want to leave out for you, I break it into two episodes because this is the Balancing Busy Podcast and I understand that you are really busy and looking at a podcast episode and being like, Oh my gosh, it’s an hour.
Leah: It feels daunting. So I try to keep them about the 30 minute mark. And that is what we’re doing today. So let’s jump in with Kenesha Griffin and Oh, I’m just excited. Let’s let’s get in there.
Leah: [00:01:00] It is another episode on the Balancing Busy podcast. I’m Leah Remillet and I can already tell you, you’re going to love this episode. I already know it. Like I can feel it. I have Kenesha Griffin with me and we’ve just been chatting a little bit beforehand and I’m already like, Oh, this is going to be so good.
Leah: So good. So, um, I want to just give you a moment to introduce yourself and then we will dive in.
Kennisha: Absolutely, Leah. Thank you so much for having me. I’m super excited to be here to have this amazing conversation with you, talking about mom life and business life and how we do it all. Um, so a little bit about me.
Kennisha: Um, well, first I am a wife and I am a mom to, uh, seven children. I have a 16 year old, 15 year old. 14 year old, 11 year old, 5 year old, 4 [00:02:00] year old, and an almost 3 year old, you know. And so, um, big family life, um, but I’m also a business owner. So, my company is called Create and Blossom. And I help people write books and get published.
Kennisha: So I’ve been in the publishing industry for as long as my, my son’s here. I was pregnant with him when I dove right into this industry with my love of creative writing. And so it’ll be 17 years this year, um, that I have been publishing books and helping other people do the same. So I love being in this space.
Kennisha: I absolutely love being a business owner. I love what I call being a mompreneur. So, uh, at any moment I can have my, my little ones with me. I love to take them on this adventure. with me. Um, yeah, but that, that is pretty much, pretty much me in a nutshell.
Leah: I mean, I feel like we could just unpack what you just said for this entire session, because a mom of seven and an entrepreneur with a [00:03:00] team and this career, I mean, it’s, It’s so much.
Leah: So the reason that I wanted Kenesha on the podcast so bad is, okay, seven guys. That’s basically why. No, because I, I’m so excited to have this very real conversation about raising a business and babies at the same time. And the, the reality of what it actually feels like and look looks like and what works and what hasn’t worked and just all the different things.
Leah: So. Will you share just a moment about like the journey of choosing entrepreneurship and maybe just some of the, the fears, but also excitement, like, you know, the good and the bad that you were feeling as you thought about this endeavor and where it was going to fit into your life.
Kennisha: Absolutely. So my journey starts off, um, I was actually working in higher education.
Kennisha: I think the University of Phoenix. And so I was, I [00:04:00] was calling the enrollment houses, helping other people, um, to, to go to school, to pursue their goals and their dreams. Um, before my oldest son, I actually had a couple of miscarriages first. And so, um, I, I. Do several different tests or so on. I learned that I had a blood clotting disorder and that was kind of what they assumed was the cause of the miscarriage that I had before my OTIS.
Kennisha: And so, when I got pregnant with him, I had to quit working. My doctor wrote a note and was like, Listen, you gotta stop working. You have to get on bed rest. As right now, we’re still kind of testing this theory. This is what we think is wrong. We want to make sure you’re healthy and the baby’s healthy. So you have to stop working.
Kennisha: So I stopped working and I stayed home so I can be on bed rest right when we feed up. But while I was there, I decided to revisit my love for creative writing. Now, I have one of those stories. I was that little girl with the little journals always writing in my diary. I was creating stories that that was me, uh, growing up.
Kennisha: So I thought I always wanted to write a book. I always wanted to, [00:05:00] um, to do that. So maybe this will give me the opportunity, right? So fast forwarding a little bit. Um, I dove right into it. I met my writing mentor, immediately learned so much about publishing and then learned that other people will have challenges with it, too.
Kennisha: So I thought, well, how can I create a space so I can help other people do the same thing? This is all happening when I was pregnant, so I was going to, um, I would get off the couch and get off the bed and end up going to, um, a writing critique group so that I could, uh, again, just learn more, sign and end, educate myself, um, And so I remember being extremely excited and finally doing something that I love, that I think would be cool for me as my, as I had my son, my son got older.
Kennisha: Um, I ended up meeting a lot of people that were interested and I thought, okay, I think this is an opportunity for me to turn something that I’m now passionate about into how I can, a way to help other people too. So. All that said, I ended up creating a small [00:06:00] company and, um, clientele grew really, really fast.
Kennisha: And I had a kiddo with me there. I’m like, well, how am I going to do this with, you know, my little one, you know, and I’m very entrepreneurial minded. So I kept thinking of all of the different ways that I can grow this company fast, like, what can I do? Right. Speaking events, workshops, like what can I do? I can teach, I can sell books, like all of the things.
Kennisha: So I ended up navigating that space very, very quickly with my own dance. And I ended up just taking it with me when I would have speaking events. I would end up taking it with me when I would teach workshops. Um, it just really became the dance, you know, for me over time. Um, I wasn’t afraid to. Take him with me.
Kennisha: Um, I just had to tell people, Hey, I have a, I have my youngest one with me. So I hope that’s okay with you. He’ll be right here in his chair while I’m teaching, you know, my class. And then I had my, my second daughter and then my [00:07:00] third daughter and just continue, you know, with my kids. They were just always a part of it with me.
Kennisha: So I knew, and I was never afraid to think that I could do both. You know, I never really had that fear. And also I was encouraged in that way because I did have my mentor who also has, she had actually had a lot of kids at the time, so she had her own children, but then she adopted more children. And so she was just a perfect example that you can be a writer, that you can write books, you can pursue publishing, and you can be a mom.
Kennisha: And the bulk just works perfectly. So Seamless is such a great mentor in that space for me that I never doubted that this was something I could do.
Leah: I love that. , so clearly you are a go getter. Like you, you are, you make things happen. You’re ambitious. You look at things and you say, why not?
Leah: I can figure this out. I can solve this. And I love that because I relate to it so much and I have a similar story [00:08:00] of just like, you’re put into a corner. You think, well, I’m going to try it. Well, how could I do this? And it’s growing and all of these wonderful things. Okay, beforehand, you and I were talking about, you, you were sharing that one of the things you’re trying to do now is like, Okay.
Leah: slowing down. And I was like, me too. That’s literally one of the things I’ve been talking about. So, uh, for every woman who completely relates to the, we’re, we know how to add things. Oh, we are so good at adding things and, and accomplishing more. And, And showing what we can do, tell me about this process of, of even just coming to the place of wanting to slow down or being, feeling okay with it, because I’ll say, like, it’s been a process of just trying to rewire my brain a little bit to think that, that slowing down [00:09:00] isn’t me, I don’t know, being lazy or weak or, or anything else.
Leah: So, so, so tell me kind of your thought processes there.
Kennisha: I remember recently, recently telling my husband, um, I feel like I need to see movement. As a business owner every day, like I need to see something good happening, a new appointment, pop up a new, um, acceptance in some sort of way. In order for me to feel that I am Walking along, you know, like doing things the right way.
Kennisha: You know, that this was just a random conversation with him. Like, this is how I feel. Like I need to see something happening every day. I need to see new clients pop up every day. I need to see new interviews every day. I need to see new speaking events, you know, um, popping up every day. You know, that was my, my mindset for a little bit.
Kennisha: And then I [00:10:00] had to, to, you know, Step back and say, now, why do I think that if I, if my email is not being full of all of these invitations and all of this stuff that I’m not making movement at all, like nothing’s nothing good is happening, you know, what about being a good steward over what you have? Um, what about looking into your projects and maybe, you know, maybe, strategizing and making sure that your systems are in place.
Kennisha: And, you know, what about slowing down a little bit to fully examine where you are instead of rushing and constantly. Feeling the need for more acceptance and like quick growth, you know, what about slowing down and taking the time to examine, fully examine where you are and even be present with where you are and just me and my thought process in [00:11:00] that way, made me feel like, okay, what’s the rush?
Kennisha: What am I? Who am I competing against? What am I trying to, you know, like, what’s really, what’s really happening in here that’s making me feel like I’m not doing good enough. And then what’s interesting is, you know, I’ll have conversations with some, some friends and, you know, other business owners and they’ll look from the outside.
Kennisha: You, you know, when you’re looking at your own company, you never really see it the way other, other people see it. Right. So other people are looking. On the outside at me like oh my gosh got this going on. You got that going on You just taught on a cruise ship. You just all worked up here and i’m over here like no I don’t really think i’m doing much of anything.
Kennisha: I i’m so busy Looking for the next thing that I haven’t paused to realize The growth that has happened, you know over the years because i’m so busy You know, got a hold of at the very next thing. And another thing that’s really made me slow down is my kids. You know, yeah, kids [00:12:00] that want to be in sports, kids that, you know, my oldest is just about to be 17.
Kennisha: He’s about to be a senior in high school. So I have to be A hundred percent available to him. Um, my youngest is almost three. He’ll be three next week. So, and he’s a busy three year old boy, I tell you that. He, he will make me put my phone down. If he sees me with it out too much, Mommy, no, Mommy, put the phone down.
Kennisha: He’ll say it and I’m like, Okay, now I feel like the worst mom in the world. I’ll be here checking messages when my son is like, hello. I don’t know. And my, and my daughters, my four and five year old daughters are the same way. They’re like, okay, mommy, you know, can we play princess now? Can we play tea party?
Kennisha: You know, like they’re waiting for me. I have to remember to be present where I am when I’m with my family and when I’m working and not to always be so gung ho, like what’s, what’s the next thing? I mean, there’s something wrong with forward movement. There’s something wrong with planning. [00:13:00] But I think for me, I just, I shouldn’t obsess over it.
Kennisha: You know, cause that, that’s making me run a race that I, I mean, for what I’m not competing against anyone here. You know what I mean? Like I should just be Pacing myself and I’m, I’m trying really hard to learn how to do that.
Leah: Do I ever know what you mean? I mean, as so much of what you’re saying, it just parallels for me and I understand it so deeply.
Leah: And as I’m, I’m hearing you share your experiences, I think about, you know, some of my thoughts as I’ve tried to work through and when my kids were really little, uh, you kind of have the sense that you have more time. with them, right? Like you have more time, you have more time, and you’re trying to do a great job being present where you should be.
Leah: You know, when I think it’s so critical when we’re working, let’s work. When we’re familying, let’s family. When we’re spousing, let’s spouse, right? Like, let’s, let’s show up all in, in each of these areas. [00:14:00] Something that Is, is the, the part that makes that so hard is that we’re constantly thinking about the next idea, the next thing, and, and percolating on things, right?
Leah: So, when you’re with your family, when you’re on date night, when you’re with the kids, A thought comes in and everything in you wants to go run and write it out or check the thing or whatever it is, right? And so this ability to be fragmented all the time becomes a very, very real thing that I think a lot of us really struggle with.
Leah: We’re in a very different age, you know. Our parents and And everyone before them, they went to work and they answered calls at work and they took care of things at work and then they came home. And unless someone called the landline, no one got a hold of them again until they went back the next day.
Leah: We’re. [00:15:00] You know, we’re available 24 7 in that all of our emails, all of our DMs, they’re all coming to the thing that is in our pocket most of the time. And that buzzing and that vibrating is constantly pulling us away and, and it can, it can be so hard. And then I was also thinking about how we know what we get.
Leah: Okay. And I’m going to use that word very intentionally, like what we’re impressed by. And when I see someone who’s like, I’m speaking here, I’m in this interview, I’m doing this, I’m hosting this. I’m like, dang, they’re killing it. Right there. Wow. They’re killing it. And so we, without really thinking it all the way through, we start thinking, okay, well this is what I need to do.
Leah: And. And I did that same thing where it’s like, Oh, look at my speaking calendar. Look at all the different places I’m going this year. See, see, look, I’m successful. Oh, look at all these podcasts. Oh, here’s another one I [00:16:00] was on. Oh, look at this event that I did. Oh, look, now I’m hosting my own mastermind. Oh, look, now I’m launching this.
Leah: Now I’m doing it right. Like all of these things. And, , I think that we, as women, we need to pull back the curtain and I can tell you, Those years where I, oh, wow, did I have an impressive speaking schedule, you guys, it was really impressive. Like, you’d have looked and you would have been like, dang, she’s in Nashville this month, Palm Springs next month, Texas the month after that.
Leah: You know, she’s all over the place. What, she’s doing one in London? I mean, it looked so impressive. And yet. Every time I was packing the suitcase to leave again, it was, once again, I somehow, you know, because you can’t help it, a lot of these get, um, scheduled and planned months and months in advance, and somehow it was landing on a really big event for the kids, and I was going to miss it, and the heartache that I was feeling, right, or, um, or whatever it was, [00:17:00] like, that kept happening over and over, but I wasn’t going Taking the time to really check in with myself and say, but is this what you want?
Leah: Because I kept thinking, but this is what I’m supposed to show. Like this tells everybody that I’ve made it, that they should want to work with me. And it was hurting, like it was deeply hurting. And when I finally accepted that and acknowledged that and said, I’m going to take way fewer, they’re going to be the ones that I’m really excited about and I really want, um, I, there is, there’s a trend right now.
Leah: This is me kind of going off on a thing, but there’s a trend right now of a lot of people inviting fellow women to speak at their events and they’re not paying them. They’re just giving them a spot. And I am, I want to start talking about that because I’m like, wait, we’re all trying to say as women, like we lift each other, but I know you’re charging a very good price.
Leah: Price point. And yet you’re telling me like, Oh, I’m giving you a free spot. Well, I honestly, I wouldn’t have come to this event. [00:18:00] Like this. This isn’t my place. You know, like I mean, sometimes you might be like, you know what, I’m going to say yes, because the exposure, the opportunity, I can see the value. But You know, I started really looking at those and being like, No, like, I’m gonna pay because I’m still paying for airfare and the hotel and the food and all the things like I’m paying to speak for your very profitable event.
Leah: What what is happening here? Right? So, so just, you know, Just thinking about and, and asking ourselves some really hard questions, I think, right? Like, why am I doing this? Is this because I’m trying to impress people? Or is this actually inspiring the life that I really want? Right?
Kennisha: Yes. Yes. And then another thing I thought about was this.
Kennisha: How can I? Merge the two, you know, my, my business life and my family. How can I, how can I [00:19:00] do that? You know, it, even if it’s just a little bit, like, so for example, um, I remember being a part of, I used to be a part of a, of a, um, A blog for moms called Mom Likes to Stay and it was by, um, by Family Life, the big, the big, um, organization called Family Life.
Kennisha: They had a division, um, on their site for moms, just for moms. And so I was one of the bloggers and it was me and my actual writing mentor that I first met and many of the moms, I’ve met great people. And we did a blogging retreat and, um, I think it was in Naples, Florida. And so we’re there and we’re all together sitting in this room together.
Kennisha: And one of the writers had. Um, her kid with her and she, I will never forget her saying this at the table, so not talking together. She said, you know, my commitment was that it doesn’t matter where I go or where I travel. I want to bring one of my kids with me, she had maybe about three or four kids. She’s like, I want to bring some, at least one of the kids [00:20:00] so that they can be in the experience with me too.
Kennisha: Um, and I want to make sure that this is always like a. A shared thing this is just about me traveling the world doing that thing But I want my kids to be in on the adventure, too You know, I want them to to see that and I thought about that because I was recently invited Um to speak on anything in a couple of weeks and I said, you know what?
Kennisha: I think i’m gonna bring my teenage girls with me. I think they would love to be here, too You know They can help me at the table with me and they can participate and then they feel involved and they feel like they’re a part of it, too Um that way Uh, you know, I certainly don’t want them to kill mums.
Kennisha: Gone, and she’s having all of these exciting adventures and stuff. Hey, here we are. We want to come too. Like, those are some feedback. That’s actually some feedback I hear from my kids sometimes. I say, hey, I gotta drive to Houston because I have to go. It’s what he meant. Well, well, we want to come. Can we come too?
Kennisha: You know. And, you know, and so I keep thinking that how can I How [00:21:00] can I merge the two? How can I get my older ones to be involved? Or maybe even the whole family come and they would group, you know, like, is that a possibility? You know, just looking ahead, you know, uh, at some possible opportunities in the future.
Kennisha: So I kept, I kept thinking that too. Like, um, I, but I love everything that you’re saying because It’s just so true, you know, I, I think that we’ll be completely burnt out if we say, um, if we say yes to everything, especially knowing that. Like you said, this trend on, on not really paying speakers, I’ve just given,
Leah: you’re like, yep, yep. We both see them.
Kennisha: is this a thing? What happened to paying speakers to come, you know, to, to, to speak and to, you know, encourage the audience? What happened to that? Is this a new thing? That was really a question. So I’m, I’m glad I’m not the only one who knows. You’re
Leah: not. We’re gonna, we’re gonna, together, we’re gonna help remind, like, [00:22:00] let’s, let’s see each other’s value and honor it.
Kennisha: Please? Yes! I mean, this is a career, right? Speaking and Getting out there and teaching and, you know, this isn’t, I mean, this is livelihood here, right? We’re talking about, and so, and, and, and many times is that cost, that’s sacrificing because we can’t take our kids everywhere, you know, as much, as much as that sounds great in my head, you know, like, Oh, I would love to take kids everywhere.
Kennisha: I mean, realistically, probably not, you know, some of them may be in school during a time of their travel or, or they have things and they have, and then it’s, you know, That word balance, right? Kind of those who are if sports and into events and have things and have, you know, friends have get togethers and stuff and me missing that.
Kennisha: Oh yeah. I totally understand that and have been, you know, so that’s, it doesn’t feel good. It never felt good, you know, if there’s something that that you are blocking time out to do and then it [00:23:00] has something with it. They feel it every time.
Leah: This wraps up part one. Now, it felt like I left you on a cliffhanger and that’s because I kinda did. I’m sorry. But, I’m going to bring you right back into it. We make sure that these episodes always release on the same day, so that you can jump right into part two. Now, just to give you a little teaser, here’s what we’re going to get deeper into in part two.
Leah: We’re going to talk about the realities of what a day in the life is like. We are going to talk about asking for help and dropping the guilt that is so often associated with it. We’re going to talk about finding time for yourself without feeling like you’re adding more pressure. Because often we take a little bit of time for ourself and it’s like, Oh, but then how am I going to fit in?
Leah: all the things I’m neglecting when I take this time for myself that suddenly instead of feeling like self care, it’s just feeling stressful. So we’re going to talk about that, about giving yourself grace and how balance is really a moving target. So I cannot wait. Let’s jump right [00:24:00] into part two of this interview with Kenesha
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