Cutting hours…

I’m going to leave the original post I had written below but I have to say something else. Today my amazing friend Megan went home to heaven. Sixteen weeks ago she went into the hospital so excited that her water had broke… She was going to be a mommy. Today her adoring husband was left a widower and her beautiful baby girl is without a mother. My heart feels so broken, my tears are so abundant that I can’t even see this screen… it hurts to breathe and I am only a friend. I can only imagine Ryan’s anguish.

With our faith we believe that families are forever and that does give us solace in the eternal perspective. But for today, it hurts….. really really bad. Earlier today I had admitted something terrible to Taylor when we got home from church. I had a little revelation while sitting there when I realized a grave error I was making. Photography… Go{4}Pro…. the businesses… These two things take up probably 80% of my thoughts. I am constantly consumed with what needs to be done, who needs an answer, who’s waiting for something from me. Even when I’m cooking, playing and loving my family these thoughts still find their way in. I have it so so wrong. My family deserves to be that 80% because we get ONE CHANCE and you can’t make any promises for how long your chance is going to be. YOU CAN’T. I CAN’T and if tomorrow I was diagnosed with Leukemia and in 16 weeks my husband had to plan my funeral I would be ANGRY with myself in where my attention had been. This business is a love and passion in this life but they are my forever. Our children are only children for a blink. I have been the forgotten child, I know what it feels to question if you were loved. My children will know! Please, please make sure that those you love will know too.

When you click on Ryan and Megan’s personal blog she always had the quote, “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count, it’s the life in your years.” -Abraham Lincoln. Megan’s life was the most vibrant and loving of anyone I’ve ever seen. She is the absolute closest to perfect that I have ever known. I will miss her flawless example of what life should be.

I won’t be answering emails today.

—————————————————————————————————————

If you’ve been reading lately, you’ve heard a lot of confessions from me! After a fun phone call with Kelly France and Shellie Secretan and having a lot of other people say it before them I have finally decided to comply with their reasoning.

Writing 5 days a week is too much for me. I use to get help writing but when that changed I tried to pick up the slack and take on all of the days… And while I can do it, it leaves me no time to build Go{4}Pro into more. And with Leah Remillet Photography the busiest it’s ever been, I have to do some rearranging of my time to make it all more fluent.

There are so many things that I want to create, try and do for Go{4}Pro. Being able to answer all those questions on formspring would be a great place to start and none of it is ever going to happen if I keep trying to write 5 posts a week.

This has been a hard one for me. I didn’t want to disappoint but I really feel I can give you better posts and more thought provoking ideas if I’m not trying to just get something up. Thanks for being so great and understanding! From now on, the plan will be to write posts Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

I’d still LOVE to have more guest writers so if you’re interested, please feel free to email me.

And just for fun, I wanted to show you Morgan Mathews new logo and custom marketing kit that I designed for her! I’m absolutely in love with how it turned out. One of my very favorites ever! The paper pack is from Tada on Etsy

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  1. I am so sorry for your loss, Leah. Truly. As a mother this hits me straight in the heart…

    As far as the balancing act goes, I will follow your blog even if you decide to post just once a month. You are worth waiting for! Let your family wrap you up and heal you during this difficult time. There is nothing quite like the love of children to make everything feel possible and right in the world.

    I’m sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers to you and the family of your friend today.

    • Leah Remillet says:

      Thank you … thank you Erin. I honestly get so worried that if I don’t write enough people won’t come anymore. I really appreciate your encouragement to let me do what’s best for my family. It means so much to read those words!

  2. Alison says:

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and for her family’s devistating loss. I cannot even fathom the pain and sorrow. When things have slowed down a bit, please be sure to share with her husband the contact information for the Liz Logelin Foundation (http://thelizlogelinfoundation.org/). This was started by a young father who lost his wife just after childbirth to help other young widows and widowers. In the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with you and all of those touched by her death.

  3. Vanessa says:

    Leah,
    I’m so sorry. It’s so hard to lose a friend, but I can see how your heart aches for her family. I don’t even know her, you, anything about them….but I sit here and I cry. I don’t know why life throws these things at us, I will admit, my faith is not as deep as yours. I have struggled my entire life with trying to understand the things I can’t see. However, in my life…which really hasn’t been that long…I have been faced with some pretty scary, life changing, thought provoking, faith questioning experiences. However, I don’t walk away from the idea. I do believe there is a reason for everything. In these times it’s so hard to figure out why. You just want to scream at whoever is supposed to be listening and demand an answer for WHY! If I can take anything from the loss of your dear friend, it’s the exact message you are portraying. We can’t let these “dreams” get in the way of the one thing in life that matters the most. Our family. I have to admit, I have been completely consumed with thoughts of trying to get my business running and running properly. In the mean time I feel like it’s been robbing my ability to be “in the moment” with my children, my husband…my family. I too need to step back and re-evaluate the situation. Just know your beautiful friend has sent me a message…all the way up here in the middle of no where Canada. Her beautiful baby will always have the most precious beautiful angel, her mom. She will be there with her, every moment. That I do know.

    • Leah Remillet says:

      Sweet Vanessa, There has always and will always be a greater purpose. Most of the time we will not know or see what it is. But every once in a while and it may only be a few times throughout our whole life we are blessed to see an eternal perspective. When that happens we hold on to those and cherish them they can sustain us through the hard times when we can’t understand and we can’t see past the moment were struggling in.
      I wish I could share some of the stories of my childhood with you but for the sake of protection to others in my life I wouldn’t talk about them on the internet. I hope I will meet you in person one day and we can talk!
      hugs.

      • Vanessa says:

        Me too Leah, I hope our paths cross in some way in the future, but for now I will keep listening and learning through your posts…even if it’s once a week, or once a month! You’re a wonderful person and you can see how you are touching the lives of people around the world. I’m so glad I was able to find your blog!

  4. Brook says:

    Do what is right for you and your family first, because in the end, that is all that matters right? You definitely have not disappointed me, I will still be a faithful M-W-F blog stocker!! if anything, you have made me like you even more!!!

    • Leah Remillet says:

      Brook… You are to wonderful! Thank you for still wanting to read and being so understanding! I appreciate it more than you guys can know! It’s something I’ve known I should do for months but just haven’t been brave enough to tell you all. Plus this silly blog is a bit of an addiction for me… I know – I’m so weird!

  5. Brook says:

    Also: I am so sorry to hear about your friend. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and her family.

  6. Charlotte says:

    My thoughts will be with Morgan’s family today, as well as with you Leah. Life is too short and we have to make the most of the short time we have been given. I applaud you for recognizing that you can’t do it all. Your family is very blessed to have you!

  7. Adrienne says:

    I’m so sorry Leah! My heart hurts for this family. I hope that they (and you) can find the strength to get through this tough time.

  8. Jamie says:

    Our prayers are with Megan’s family… and you as you are grieving the loss of a dear friend.
    I always have to tell myself that nobody’s opinion matters if I am doing what the Lord has called me to do. He has blessed you with three precious miracles and I admire you for understanding how important the job of being there for them is. They will grow up knowing they have a mama who loves them and puts them first, and that is SO much more important than 5 blog posts a week.

  9. clair says:

    Oh, dear. I am so sorry about your friend and pray that her family and loved ones will be sustained with love at this time.

    I hope you feel lots of relief and more enjoyment in your endeavors as you cut back a bit. I’m sure you will be rewarded as you are following your heart.

    The marketing kit is adorable, fresh, and unique!

  10. Kathy says:

    I am so so sorry for your loss. She is in a better place, but it is so difficult. 🙁 Prayers for you and her family.

  11. Spanki Mills says:

    leah i am so sorry to hear this! it hurts my heart! we just had a little 4 yr old pass away here in my little town and it tore me apart! you are sooo right! family should be the 80%! take your time, heal, and figure out what you want most out of YOUR life…not the e-mails, the clients, the other photographers…it is all about you and your timing! we love you and and what you have done with go{4}pro…but can see you need a BREAK! do what your heart is telling you!

    also, i have a friend (new from FB) that would love the opportunity to do a post… she is an amazing photographer… will send you her info and link and let you decide!

    and even though i am miles away…please call on me if you need ANYTHING!!! e-mail, phone call, or even if its a girls night to dinner…we will make it happen! 😉
    take care, grieve and HUG YOUR FAMILY!

  12. Carrie says:

    Leah, I had just gone on their site last night before the newest one was posted…….I wish you weren’t 3 hours away so I could give you a great big hug right now (and vice versa). I have no doubt we fasted for the same thing yesterday, and you know when I closed my fast and pleaded for Megan yet again, I felt a warm peace fill my heart. At first I was hopefully thinking it was to reassure me that the miracle we all wanted so badly would come to pass, but then moments later, I realized it was more to reassure me that even though we don’t understand why, it would be ok.
    I can’t believe and can’t imagine to know what Ryan and his family are going through….

    Leah, cutting your hours is the best thing I’ve heard you say/write ever (and you’ve said/written some pretty pronominal things)!!! I agree 100% with what you said.

    Love you!

    • Leah Remillet says:

      I’m so so glad that I get to see you this weekend! I really really miss you! I felt the exact same thing after my fast. When I woke up Sunday morning I knew she wold be going home that day.

  13. K.Erekson says:

    You know I love and adore you. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. You are amazing. Even on those days you just don’t feel like it.

  14. Kim Larsen says:

    Leah,

    I am so sorry to hear that Megan did not get that miracle that I know everyone was hoping for. I was holding Paige on my lap when I read your post the first time, and I just had to stop and cuddle her while thinking of sweet little Rylee.

    I completely understand your need to cut back on things. We will all still be here to read anything you write, as often as you are able to post. And if I come up with anything worth writing about for a guest post, I’ll let you know! 🙂

    And I love your newest logo/marketing kit design, too! I wish I could afford to have you create something for me…

  15. Maggie says:

    Leah, I was so sad last night when I clicked on your original post and saw that Megan had passed away. I can’t imagine the heartbreak of losing a friend or a spouse. I pray for the family as they grieve. It is so hard to understand sometimes, but it is with hope that those closest to Megan can move on, knowing she is with her Creator and has been made perfect.

    I, too, will continue to enjoy your posts whenever you can write them. Take care of you and that family of yours. God bless!

  16. Leah, I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry to hear about Megan. I can’t imagine what her husband is going through. And little Rylee. It is always comforting to know that they will be together again as an eternal family.
    And no matter how often you post, you will have readers. You are too valuable of a resource for anyone to forget about you! We will be here always!!
    And I have an idea for a post. I’ll email it to you.
    You rock!!!

  17. Samantha says:

    Leah, I’m glad that you are going to cut back. I think we need more role models of women who choose family and a good life over the ultimate business. It was hard for me to be okay with not putting everything I have into my business because when I do something I want to do it right. But being an adult means you have to prioritize. My motto for years has been “You can do ANYTHING, but you can’t do EVERYTHING.” This has served me well, especially as a mother. We are lucky to (virtually) have you in our lives, and even luckier that you share your truths.

  18. crystal says:

    So sorry to hear about the loss of a friend. I pray that her husband has support from loved ones to help out with the new blessing in his life. I pray that he will still be able to see her as a blessing and that she will lift his spirits when he needs it most.

  19. Carrie Ann says:

    I don’t know how I missed this post last month…I think God knew I needed to read it today! Thank you!

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