What Men get and Women Don’t and how it Hurts Us as Business Owners

How does the below scenario relate to you (A WOMAN) as a business owner?  It’s time to get to the bottom of this lie we feed ourselves!

When a girlfriend says, “You look great in that dress!” what do you say back to her?

“Oh, this old thing?  I only paid $10 bucks for it because it has a big ol’ flaw right here. Do you see it RIGHT HERE?  And you don’t know what it took to squeeze into those Spanx so I could hide my cottage cheese butt!”

Hmmm. Okay let’s try that same scenario out on a man.

‘Cause you know, and all my guy readers can confirm, that when a guy has someone say he looks good in that shirt… What does he say?   Ummm...  How about a normal and appropriate response that sees no need to mention cottage cheese or backends?  He simply says, “Thanks.”

Ugh! Why are they so good at that?  Have you ever walked away from someone after revealing way too much, and thought…  “What is my problem?  I couldn’t have just said, ‘thank you’!?!!?”

Now… Let me show you how this inability to accept and recognize success, compliments, and/or accomplishments hinders us as business owners. 

We constantly focus on where we need to improve, what we could have done better… How the accomplishment still isn’t good enough.  Do men do that?  (Okay, obviously, I am super over-generalizing here!!!) But you get what I’m saying.

Ladies, we need to learn how to acknowledge and even, dare I say it, celebrate our successes.

Let’s take a minute and think about what you’ve accomplished thus far.  You took a passion and combined it with a dream of being an entrepreneur, and you’ve had the guts to make a go of it.  Just that one simple statement – all by itself – deserves to be celebrated.  Now if you have clients, if you have people paying you for your services (no matter how big or small those payments may be), if you get to make your own hours and dictate your own day… You are living a dream compared to the majority of the world population.  Think about that! 

So let’s say that you’ve taken your passion and you’ve combined it with your entrepreneurial dream, but you’re just not there yet.  You’re not at a place where you can quit that day job or pay those bills on your own.  You’re not currently able to fund that dream trip or save for that dream home.  That’s okay!  Yes, you’ve got further to go….

But you are going!  Do you know how many people out there are to afraid to even do what you’re doing right now… Afraid to even try?!? 

Focus on your successes.  Celebrate your milestones.  Squeal over your victories!  Happy dance for your future.

For crying out loud… Acknowledge that you’re doing something awesome!

Do It.. N O W

No, you may not have arrived at where your heading….

Maybe your portfolio isn’t where you want it, or your sales aren’t what they should be.  Maybe your schedule could use some filling and your camera is still set on auto.   I get that you’re probably not quite where you want to be yet….  But oh my goodness, how great is it to know that you’re on the road, that you are taking the journey!  IT IS POSSIBLE; IT’S ALL POSSIBLE BECA– USE YOU’RE MAKING IT HAPPEN! 

We have a private Facebook group just for our Thriving Photographers.  Just in the last several days, I’ve loved getting to read thread after thread after thread of photographers who were trying their first “thrive” sales appointments using the new techniques I’ve taught them.

In these exact same threads, they would exclaim that they’ve just sold their target collection, many including add-ons.  Each had just made more money off of one session than ever before.  Many had just made more off of one session than they ever had in an entire month before starting Thrive.

It’s a HUGE accomplishment, and they had every reason to be squealing like Wilber and dancing like Donkey Kong, but I started noticing a pattern.  They would immediately follow-up their success with a little ‘personal negative.’  It was like the equivalent of the ‘cottage cheese butt’ being blurted out after a Victoria Secret Super Model just walked over and asked you to share your secrets to looking so fabulous.

These girls had done it.  They had just proved to themselves that thriving is more than possible – it is real.  They work hard, and they deserved to glory in their  success and bask in this moment of realizing their dreams of becoming a thriving photographer… But they couldn’t entirely do it.

We, as women, seem to feel guilt even about being successful. 

But here is the Secret to changing that:

Humility and Gratitude for our successes – YES!   Guilt from them – NO WAY! 

Sure, I push myself.  And their’s probably no way you could find someone out there as critical of me as I am. But sometimes I let myself just get caught in the moment and gush over how far I’ve been allowed to come.  It’s not really something I do out loud so much, but it helps me stay more grateful when I take time to realize how much I have.

I sincerely hope that you will take more time to recognize and celebrate your accomplishments.  To focus a little longer on your victories and wallow a little less in your mistakes.

Norman Vincent Peale said,  “Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.”

You are already worth celebrating , simply because you are willing to try and do.  Now take the time to stop and think about how much more there is to you that’s worth celebrating!

 

Image Sources:   The Cautious Photographer –Leah Remillét  |   NOW – Style Swoon   |   Success – Petnoga

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  1. I absolutely adored your newest article! It’s so true! Just last week I had a local photographer who I’ve never met before call me up out of the blue just to tell me how fantastic my pictures and branding are and offer to grab lunch sometime. While I appreciated the kind words and recognition it was so hard to just sit there and graciously accept the praise without trying to clarify, rationalize, or point out all that I’m doing “wrong”… So many days I think I’m two sessions away from failing, meanwhile, someone else is sitting there thinking that I’m the cat’s meow. You’re right… it’s time for us to do just what you said: Acknowledge that you’re doing something awesome!- Leah Remillet for Go{4}Pro

    • Thanks for the comment love Megan! It’s so so true and oh my isn’t it amazing what a little positive reinforcement does for us women!?! I will complexity admit it… I need affirmation from others when I don’t get it… I second guess EVERYTHING!!

  2. Very perceptive article. I don’t know about it being a man vs. woman thing, though. Artists in general feel very self conscious about our work. Anything artistic is very personal so when someone says something about it it feels like they are saying something about us.

    The moment you point out a flaw, no matter how much it is screaming at you, that will be the first and last thing everyone else sees too. 99 percent of the time they didn’t even notice it.

    A business coach told me how he thought I was very intelligent. My response was a self-effacing quip. He instantly sat me straight. He sternly said, all you ever should say when someone compliments you is “thank you, I appreciate that very much.”

    • Brilliant business coach! Was that me? 😉

      You’re so right, our work is very personal and as artists we can’t help but take in other people’s thoughts and perceive them as personal. I think that goes across genders but in being able to celebrate and acknowledge that success is in fact deserved…. Well, I think you boys (and yes I know I’m totally generalizing here), but you boys… Well in general, you’re a little better at that! It’s time that we (the ladies) take notice.

      We each deserve success! Every human on the planet deserves to feel happy, safe, important and loved.

  3. Teresa says:

    Thank You! I needed this ~ I am living a Dream so many cannot!
    I need to remember that 🙂

  4. Marion says:

    I am a woman and i instantly would have said: Thank you! I would never feel guilty or anything for success. I am happy if it works out. We celebrate every single little success i have. So, can not say this is true for me. Might be for others. Maybe i am different.

  5. Melanie says:

    Thank you Leah for the article. My husband allowed me to quit my part time job that had full time hours two weeks ago. Since then I have produced nothing but a lot of hours that seem to be non productive. I look forward to the day that I purchase your Thrive program and begin to Thrive. Thank you for the blogs and I love the weekly videos. You help me to strive to get through the day pushing forward with emails and research. Thank you , you are a daily blessing.

    • Could you leave a comment EVERY DAY!? Cause that was just wonderful to read… Except the part about you producing nothing! You know I can help you change that with Thrive… Like I absolutely know it and guarantee it – I can help you!! These girls are hitting 10K this month left and right… Could you imagine? They still can’t! It’s been so fun to watch!!

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