Mar 29, 2013

I CAN’T BREATHE

“Please… Help me.” My face was buried in my hands as I stood in my bedroom. I had just walked back in the door and it was t0o much. I just couldn’t keep it together for another minute.

The tears that followed were the ugly kind, with the huge sobs. I am not a pretty crier, and I was grateful to be alone.  I had to let it out.

I said a prayer in between  the sobs…

“I don’t know what to do.

How can I do all of this?

I don’t know how to help her?”

Please… Help me.”

And then I felt the words, as if He stood right beside me. They came with confidence and hope and love… “Let’s get to work.”

So I wiped my blotchy face with my sleeve (something I hate seeing my kids do) and rubbed mascara from my lashes to my cheeks, and then did just that… I went to work.

Trying to be everything for everyone is no cupcake walk.  One day we may feel like we’re on top of the world and we just can’t believe it’s this easy… Yet the next, feel so inadequate, so small – standing alone sobbing big, ugly (and loud) tears.

It’s a lot… We’re trying to be mothers, wives, artists, friends, home-makers, volunteers, entrepreneurs and… strong.

The boat will be rocked, for-every-single-one-of-us. Don’t think for one moment that you’re alone in feeling like you’re a little less than enough sometimes.

So if every once in a while you find that its just too much to bear and you’ve got to let it out… Let yourself.  And then get to work and go back to being the amazing, courageous woman that you are.


Image Source  from New Girl

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  1. lea says:

    thank you Leah, this is exactly what I needed to read. I bawled my eyes out yesterday, scared of failing and all that is required to make this passion a successful business.

  2. Lyndsey says:

    I had an ugly cry just this Wednesday. Thank you so much for this post.

  3. Jamie says:

    Lol soooo true … Ugly cryin sista right here with ya!!

  4. Shannon says:

    Thank you SO much for posting this! You just typed exactly what my heart is feeling! I have been having so much trouble balancing everything these past few weeks. To be painfully honest, I sat in my car, sobbing, crying just two days ago. I’m glad to know that I’m not crazy… or, at least I’m not alone.

    • We’re either crazy or there are a lot of us but either way… I’m in good company! 😀 Don’t they say that it’s important to cry cause it does something physically that helps relieve the stress or toxins or something???

  5. Ingrid Urena says:

    Leah this is awful to read, because it means you were sad. But it’s immensely relieving to know you are just as fragile, and seeing how strong you are, makes me stronger, and to actually believe it can be done! Thank you for sharing something so personal.

  6. Moi says:

    Sending love and light and a BIG cyber hug x x x

  7. Starla says:

    OH How I connect to this post right now. I was eagerly reading to the bottom for the Step by Step “How-To Not feel this way!” 😉 But it’s nice to see I’m not alone. Thanks for the post.

    • Most of the time I can avoid it so maybe I should write that post too… But I just always think it’s so important to share when I have my bad days cause I don’t want anyone ever thinking I sit over here with some added level of magic awesomeness – we all have ugly cry days! LOL

  8. Linnea says:

    Leah!

    I’m sitting at my computer, catching up on blogs, delaying what really needs to get done. It’s Saturday, I deserve a day of rest, right? Nope! Just means I’m going to have to do it all tomorrow or Monday and Lord knows the kids will just add to the mess by then. This is the post I needed to read today. Thank you. “Let’s get to work!” will be my mantra for today. And posting a picture of “Jess” is just the icing on the cake!

    Linnea

    • I’m so glad you enjoyed it and ummmm… Yes. “Jess” was the perfect giggle for me too. I hope you have an amazingly productive and ambitious day and that this evening you can feel totally satisfied that today was a great day! 🙂

  9. Alisa says:

    Leah, it’s one thing to feel this way, but the fact that you were as honest as you were in what you said – and that you just never know when or how your boat will rock. And that it happens to all of us. Even if you have it together. I appreciate your ‘REAL-NESS FACTOR’.

    • 🙂 You’re so welcome Alisa! I promised myself a long time ago, that I would always tell you guys when I have melt downs so that you’d never have to think that somehow I’m immune!

  10. Leah, I totally get this! I haven’t actually allowed myself to let go yet but maybe that’s what I need to do. I need to get my act together (after I let it all out), and lean on God and use all the things I’ve learned from you through Thrive and just DO IT!! I am so appreciative to you for putting something so raw and personal out there. It’s very encouraging to know we are not alone when we hit the hard moments. 🙂

    • Definitely not alone!! We ALL have bad days and sometimes the best thing we can do is just let it all out and than pick ourselves up and move forward. You have everything you need Heather and you are SO CAPABLE!! Go make it happen – you are worth it!!

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