My Losses and Lessons of 2022 (Episode 30) - leahremillet.com

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My Losses and Lessons of 2022 (Episode 30)

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We can act like we’re getting it all right, that year after year it all just gets better and better… More money, more reach, better family, bigger wins. But can that really be anyone’s reality and that storyline only serves one person, the one telling it. And of course we could argue it’s not even serving them.

In this episode on The Balancing Busy Podcast I wanted to share an honest, vulnerable review of 2022. Where I saw the wins and where I felt the losses.

I wanted to answer:

How did I do at balancing in 2022?
Where do I feel I went right?
Where do I feel I went wrong?
What were some wins, and where can I see some lessons when it didn’t feel like wins.

As I am going through this, I invite you to reflect on your 2022 as well. What did you love? What is worth celebrating? And what lessons can we extract?

This will help:

 👉 You acknowledge wins you might have overlooked 
 👉 Recognize unique lessons you can learn that you may have missed
 👉 Identify your key happiness areas to focus on this year 

In this episode: 

1:20 Focus on Consistency 
2:42 Life Assessment 
12:19 Where I Went Right and Where I Went Wrong 
14:16 Consistent Habits 
15:31 Greatest Wins of 2022
18:33 Greatest Lessons of 2022
20:07 Implementation

Consistency is Key

Is it possible to do all the things simultaneously? What does that look like? Take a look at each area of your life and as long as you are consistent, you’ll be moving forward.

Instead of huge goals, I am working on consistent, positive habits. There are lots of different options these days to help you stay on track, whether it be an app or pen and paper. I created a habit tracker printable a while back which you can download here. I am using the Habits of Health app which I am loving so far! I paid for the premium so I could track more than 3 and place some tracking habits on only certain days of the week.

For example, my exercise for the day might be walking the dog. But at least I got out and did something! Being consistent was the main goal — and understanding that dog walks are not going to be my only form of exercise!

How to Assess Your Year

When reviewing my year, I found it helpful to break everything down into eight different categories. I shared about this assessment in a past episode (you can listen to it here and grab your own free Purpose Driven Living Assessment guide here).

Being able to reflect on each of these areas has been incredibly helpful for me to identify where I had big wins this year, where I felt like I was lacking or could improve, and sometimes it even made me aware of wins that I had totally forgotten about!

Here’s a quick breakdown of the eight areas to reflect on (you can download the assessment here)

1. MARRIAGE (OR RELATIONSHIP)
2. MOTHERHOOD
3. HOME
4. EXERCISE & HEALTH
5. FUN, TRAVEL & RECREATION
6. BUSINESS
7. FINANCES & WEALTH
8. SPIRITUALITY

When I look at each of these areas, there are some that I felt I nailed, and some areas that I didn’t. This comes down to the concept of balance.

When I look at the personal areas of my life, I feel really, really strong.

My marriage felt amazing this year. As I looked back over 2022, one of the things that shocked me was how many trips Taylor and I took together. This was almost a surprise when I realized they had all happened last year. It got me wondering what other wins I was missing and thinking about how to be more aware of the good things that are happening in my life.

The motherhood category is one that I feel like I was able to put more of my time and energy toward. Being available and present felt really good. I can contribute a lot of that success to be willing to let go of some of the stuff and outsource it.

I set an exercise goal of being able to run a 5k at any given time. You might think that’s an easy one, but it wasn’t for me. I was able to see a lot of progress in my strength, too, as I graduated from cans of beans and shifted to weights of 10, 15, and 25-pounds.

My spirituality felt great this year too. I teach a religion class through my church and absolutely love it! It makes it pretty much impossible not to focus on my spirituality when tomorrow morning, I need to break down and introduce the gospel of Mark to 20 high school juniors and seniors. In this case necessity is really on my side.

Recognizing Loss and Lessons

Full transparency: There are a lot of things that I was not happy with in 2022 when it came to my business, and that was really surprising. So many areas felt so good and yet there were still a lot of things that felt like losses.

One of my goals was to be more consistent on Instagram and social media. Well, that didn’t happen and I saw zero growth.

For the first quarter of 2022, we worked on a new membership platform. I dumped so much money and time into it, and guess what — it never even launched. We ran into so many snags. There became a point where I had to just call it and walk away. It was so frustrating.

As I assessed why some things didn’t work out, I thought about the four steps to goal setting: Dreaming, deciding (i.e. making a plan), doing, and defining (reviewing the results/progress). I could see where I missed a step. I am great at dreaming and deciding how to do it. Sometimes my doing falls short, but I am usually pretty good at that too. In the case of the membership platform, I felt bad about quitting. I thought I’d spent too much to walk away, but I probably should have pulled the plug much sooner and if I’d have done a better job looking at the results and progress — or in this case, lack there of — maybe I would have seen it sooner and saved myself some of that lost money and time.

So often we keep those things a secret and don’t share our shortcomings or our “failures.” I certainly don’t like telling you where I’ve messed up, but sharing can prevent someone from making the same mistake. And it helps us to realize we’re not so alone in our problems after all.

Coming into 2023, I am definitely asking, “Okay, what went wrong? What went right? How do I solve this? What do I adjust? What do I need to re-look at?” So again, it’s important to come back and assess and evaluate everything (the defining stage).


THE LESSON I LEARNED

I Am in Charge of My Busyness or Bliss

One of the greatest lessons I learned this year is that I am in charge of my feelings of busyness or bliss. The more we allow outside influences to dominate, the more power we give away.

Time for family is always worth it. As I’m looking back at everything, I feel like last year was one of the most incredible years with great quality time spent as a family.

Last year was not one of my most financially rewarding years. I can look at that and say I failed, or I can look at that and say, no, I succeeded but in different ways.

I can always make more money, but I cannot get this time back with my kids. I have a high school senior. Our family is about to change. She’s going off to college. Putting family first has been even more important.

This is why I love the assessment. It gives you a full view of your life and you can see the true balance of it all.

Overall, I had some great wins this year. Here are my favorites:

  1. My 40 by 40 list — I created a list of accomplishments that I wanted to complete before my 40th birthday. It was hard! But it ended up being truly life-changing. Highlights are here. (I also wrote this post about 40 accomplishments before I turned 40)
  2. My girls trip to Paris to celebrate my birthday — need I say more? It was amazing!
  3. Reaching some exercise goals — pushing myself to see what my body could do
  4. Hosting my Balance Retreat — I love hosting mastermind retreats, they fill my soul’s cup!
  5. Starting this podcast! — I wanted to do this a while ago, but I am proud of myself for finally getting through the excuses and making it happen

So there you go. There are my lessons learned from 2022. I hope you will take the time to reflect on your own year. Where were your wins, what lessons are you taking with you into 2023? I would love to know.

Links and other helpful things:

Habits of Health app

Free Download: Habit Tracker

Free Download: Assessment Worksheet

Find out where you’re losing time every day and if your business is taking more time than it should.

Enroll in my FREE course and learn how to drop an entire work day a week!

Connect with me on Instagram

[00:00:00] Leah: Welcome to this episode. I thought it would be fun to just, maybe it’s not as fun actually. Maybe it’s more vulnerable, but to share my own lessons learned from 2022. How well do I feel like I did balancing and being balanced in 2022? Where do I feel like I went? Right? Where do I feel like I went wrong?

[00:00:51] And I hope that you’ll be able to pull something from all of this. So, . The first thing when I think about wins, when I think about where I feel like I really went right, was focusing on gratitude. Having a gratitude practice that has felt really, really powerful. Focusing on getting in the exercise, but being okay with it, needing to look like whatever it needed to look like that day.

[00:01:20] So making this focus on consistency, not necessarily. a certain level. There were days where I had 20 minutes, that is it. Or all it was gonna look like was taking the dog for a walk. And there were other days where it was like hardcore all in. And I think our tendency is to say It’s all in. It’s all or nothing.

[00:01:45] If I can’t make this level, then I’m just not going to do it. And really recognizing and trying to work. , the habits, that ability to just stay consistent more than wellbeing. Perfect. So that is definitely one of those things where I think I went really, really right. But on the flip side, I wanna be careful that I don’t become too complacent, that I’m not like, ah, walks.

[00:02:10] Fine. Again, not that there’s anything wrong with a walk, but sometimes they’re really short or you know, oh, I’m just gonna do this 10 minute where it’s not going to get me the results that I’m hoping for with just my body being stronger if I’m not willing to push and let it be hard. So there’s this balance there, right, and, and that’s the key within everything that we’re doing, we are trying to figure out how we balance all of the busyness, all of the things that we want to be, that we want to do.

[00:02:40] as I look at the different areas of my life, and I’ll link to the episode where we talk about the assessment and the different areas. But as I look at the different areas of my life and I say, okay, well let’s, let’s look at 2022. Let’s see how, how did I do? There’s some areas where I’m like, I nailed it, and some areas where I think I didn’t, and again, this comes to that concept of balance because.

[00:03:03] Is it really possible to do all the things simultaneously and, and what does that look like? So, you know, if I look at the personal areas of my life, , I feel really, really strong. Uh, marriage. Amazing. As I looked back over 20 22, 1 of the things that shocked me was how many trips Taylor and I took together last year.

[00:03:24] I, so I’ve told you guys, we, you know, try to do one a quarter, uh, as an overnight, at least one week, well, one week a year, where we, we go away, just the two. . We had overnights every single month, but I think two and multiple months we had more than one overnight. I mean, we had so many trips, so many things.

[00:03:45] It so, so in that, in that realm, like so good motherhood, I feel like I was able to put. More of my time and energy towards, um, just being available and present, and that feels so, so good home. I feel like our, I and, and part of it is, is like full transparency. It is outsourcing. It is the fact that I do have someone who comes and helps me and cleans my house.

[00:04:12] I do have frequent resets where, you know, like, okay, everybody, 15 minutes, let’s. Because I wanna keep it looking beautiful After she has come and helped me, I am using services like Instacart and having, you know, groceries delivered from Costco and the grocery store on Monday so I don’t have to leave. So I’m getting a ton of help and it’s all working.

[00:04:32] It’s really, really feeling good. We did some home projects that I feel good about. I mean, just that feels good. Exercise and health. That one’s a bit of a, it’s a bit tricky, I feel. Last year was one of my best years with really pushing myself, being consistent. I wanted to be able to run a 5K at any moment.

[00:04:56] And there are so many of you who are like, Well, that’s not hard, but it was for me and, and I was able to accomplish that and maintain that. And I could tell I got so much stronger. I mean, like, I went up from my weights, you know, like you start and you’re like, I had, I had cans of beans and I had five pounds and then 10, and I was always like, oh, these tens, like, they’re so heavy.

[00:05:14] And I was ending at 10, 15, 20 fives. I mean crazy. So all of that was really well, was, was really good. However, the results I wanted to. I didn’t. In fact, we’re going to go into a series this year that is just simplifying our success in all the different areas. I’m gonna have several different, uh, doctors come on and talk with us, because one of the things that happened for me was an entire year of really being better about my eating than I ever have, um, exercising better than I ever have, drinking water, better than I ever have, getting the right amount of sleep, better than I ever have, and the scale did not.

[00:05:56] At all. Not at all. So I’m like, okay, there’s something else amuck. So while I saw these great gains in one area, In another area. I just, I didn’t, and it really sucked. Like it’s frustrating. So I’ve been down this, this path of like, okay, then what is wrong? And I’m, I’m now on this whole tangent about my hormone levels.

[00:06:18] I’ve gotta be off and trying to solve for this. And so you’ll get to go through this journey with me. But these we’re, we’re so multifaceted, right? We’re not just one thing. We, we are so many parts. So then fun, travel, recreation, that’s the next part in the assessment. Um, I. Did not even realize how much fun travel recreation we did last year until I was doing this exercise where I was writing down all of my gratitude around 2022, just trying to, you know, fill pages.

[00:06:48] And I was having a hard time remembering, which that was a big, uh, light bulb moment for me where I realized I need to do a better job, recogniz. my wins and the, the things to be grateful about. So I decided to pick up my phone and I was like, oh, I’m just gonna look through the pictures that will help me to remember.

[00:07:05] And so I’m writing this all down, going through the pictures. I went all the way back to January one of last year, and I’m going through, I could not believe how many trips we took. I didn’t realize so many of ’em. I was like, oh, I thought that was like two years ago. And, and it wasn’t. I mean, we had so. Fun.

[00:07:23] And I almost miss that, just not being aware. So that was a big aha for me of how do I become more aware. So one of the things that I am working on is I now have three columns. I have three wins for the day, and three things. I’m grateful for the day. So I wanna recognize where I’m succeeding, like where I am winning, but also things that have happened to me that I’m grateful for.

[00:07:47] So it’s the things that I’m doing that are coming out of me, as well as the things that. Are, I maybe don’t have as much to do with, like, these are just beautiful blessings. So, and sometimes they overlap, right? So that’s been something that, that I saw and recognized and was like, oh, okay, now my business.

[00:08:06] Full transparency. There are a lot of things that I was not happy with in 2022 when it comes to my business, and that was really surprising. Like all of these other areas have felt so, so good and yet my business, there were a lot of things that felt like losses for me. So, um, one of my goals for 2022 had been to be way more consistent about Instagram doing reels.

[00:08:31] I was not consistent. I did not do it. I still have not found that perfect way that gets me to keep doing them regularly and zero growth, zero completely. No growth on Instagram. Uh, another thing we worked for the first. quarter of 2022 on this whole new membership platform. I dumped so much money into it, so much time into it, and guess what it is?

[00:08:55] It never even launched it. We ran into so many snags and there was this point where, you know, you keep trying to do something because you’re so far in and you feel like, like, oh, I can’t just stop now. And I finally had this moment where, Okay, I am so far in. But if I don’t even look at that money that I’ve spent, how much more time and money is it gonna take to get here?

[00:09:16] Can I really do this? And I finally had to just walk away from it. And it hurt. I mean, it just felt like such a big loss, so much money, just what felt like it was a waste. And of course there’s still lessons that I learned. There’s things that I’m learning that make it worth it. And hopefully if you learn, that makes it so much more worth it for me.

[00:09:34] You know, just recogniz. There’s the, in the process of goal setting, there’s really four steps, right? It’s dream, dream up. You know, what, what is this thing I want? What would it look like if I got there? Then it’s plan. Then it’s, then it’s, um, and, and in the planning, it’s like deciding, right? Like, so you dream then you decide like, okay, what, what am I gonna do?

[00:09:53] Like, What, what, what’s the plan here? And then it’s doing right, like doing the work and then defining, and that step gets missed a lot. It’s like defining or reviewing or going back and like assessing how, how is it all going? And, and we all have some area that we kind of skip out on. Really great at dreaming.

[00:10:15] Um, I’m really great at planning. , I can be, I’m weaker at doing, and, and then I’m, I would say I’m really great at, at reviewing and assessing usually, but I look at, you know, like my health journey. , I, I dreamed up what I wanted. I made the plan, I did the thing, but I didn’t do a great job stopping and, and reviewing and saying, you know, gee, this isn’t working.

[00:10:38] I just kept thinking, well, maybe I’m not diligent enough. Um, when really it was like, or maybe it just wasn’t the right thing for me and my body with my business, right? With this, this platform that we were trying to build. I should have stopped a lot sooner, but I just kept. Plunging forward because I felt, I felt guilty and bad and frustrated to quit.

[00:11:05] When I put so much money into it, it felt like, oh, that’s, then it’s all gonna be lost. So then I put more money into it and it still ended up a loss. So that was, that was a frustrating, a frustrating thing for sure. Then the next one is finances and wealth. I have actually heard from so many people that 2022 was not the year of like hitting those financial numbers, and, and I didn’t hit mine either, and I want you to know that because.

[00:11:34] A lot of times we keep those things a secret and we don’t share that. Right? We don’t wanna say like, Hey, the targets that I set, I didn’t make, because we, we want to show, you know, how successful we are because like, Hey, I gotta show you how to do this. Well, I have heard from. Dozens, I mean really, really incredible successful businesses.

[00:11:55] Like, wow, something shifted in 2022. And so I felt that same thing. So I definitely am coming into this year looking at and saying, okay. , what went wrong? What went right? How do I solve for this? What do I adjust? What do I need to re-look at? So again, you know, coming back to that process, it’s the assessment stage.

[00:12:17] It’s the defining stage, right? Defining where I went, right, where I went wrong, and trying to, to solve for this so that, um, I can pick things back up for, for 2023. So there’s that one. And then spirituality, that’s the last one in. In our assessment and for spirituality, it felt really amazing. I share this, I don’t feel like I shared enough, but I volunteer, teach an early morning religion class.

[00:12:45] It is my absolute favorite. I love it so much. It brings me so much joy. I teach high school juniors and seniors and we, we study the scriptures and it’s incredible. It’s. Truly one of my favorite things. And so I am on my fourth year of, of teaching and getting to, to do this, and it’s just been amazing. We studied the Old Testament and that is intimidating and hard, and it was so fun bringing it to life for them and helping them see how they could apply the, uh, the stories of the Old Testament to their own life and, and getting a lot of laughs because, oh man, the Old Testament has some stuff that you’re like, what the, what?

[00:13:29] So we, we had so much fun just learning and, and you know, studying and reading together and, because I teach that, uh, I have to do a lot of preparation, a lot, a lot, a lot. Uh, you would be shocked how many hours I put in to this work. It is, it is a, a definite part-time job that comes with no financial reward, but so, So much, so many blessings.

[00:13:58] And so, um, spirituality almost because I am forced to put in so much work has, has, you know, would be higher. Now, there are things that I am working on still to level up this year, and I’ve shared this. Um, in other places, but one of the things I’m really focusing on for 2023 is just consistent habits.

[00:14:17] Instead of these great big, giant, huge goals that are like, I’m going to, you know, make 10 million and I’m going to do this incredible, crazy thing. I’m just working on consistent, positive habits that I believe would up-level my ability to do. . And so I have, uh, some habit within each one of these areas.

[00:14:43] And, and so it’s just daily, daily check mark. I, I’m using this app. I’ll link to it in the show notes. I’m really liking it and I’m just working on like, Kate, am I, am I making one small step towards just leveling up in, in the areas of my life? And so that, that has been really fun. As we, we kind of wrap this up, I wanna just share with you what have been my favorite things of 2022.

[00:15:08] What, what were the very best things for me? And I hope you’ll ponder and think about that too. Maybe do a little journaling like, what did you love about 2022? 2022? What do you want to love about 2023? I think it’s so important that we, we take a moment and recognize. Why we should be so happy and excited and just feel really good.

[00:15:29] So, my greatest wins, my greatest moments, like this is my, this is my, like the hit list Okay. Of, of last year is, um, my 40 till 40 list is, is honestly gonna be the top thing on my list. That was so powerful for me. It tru. Changed me. I, I, you can go find, I have a whole highlight stories in my Instagram so you can look at it, but I made this list of 40 things that I wanted to do in 40 days before I turned 40.

[00:16:00] And it was hard. I had to really work at it. There was, there was some moments in my stories where I’m like, I am not gonna make it. I like, you know, dropped the ball. I was really worried. Um, but it was so good and so, so much fun, so powerful for me. So, empower. . So that is probably one of my, my top things.

[00:16:19] The second is my girls trip to Paris. I mean, come on. Like how is this possible? Again, I have a whole story highlight. My husband surprised me and planned a girls trip for me and my sister, and two of my best friends, and we went to Paris for a whole week to celebrate my birthday, and it was, Over the top, like, oh my gosh, this was not your college backpacking trip.

[00:16:46] It was incredible. The most amazing, one of the most amazing things I’ve ever gotten to experience. I mean, just, I, I still just get. Giddy and giggly. Just thinking about it. I love going back and looking at the pictures. It makes my heart so happy. So that another huge win was exercising. I shared that right?

[00:17:05] Like really pushing myself and seeing, seeing what my body could do. That was really incredible. , um, hosting my balance retreat in October. It had been a couple years, you know, thanks to Covid and all the stuff since I had gotten to host a mastermind retreat and I love them. Uh, in fact, I was talking to one of my private clients who was at the retreat, uh, last week, and she’s like, are are you planning more of those?

[00:17:30] She’s like, it is amazing. Being at that life, like what that is. Like you are, you are in your genius zone. You are in your element. It’s so powerful and, and like that feels so amazing to hear. But I, I can feel that, like I can feel in when I’m there, when I’m getting to teach and like one-on-one and like, okay, wait, I just caught what you said and we are gonna fix this, or we are gonna break this down.

[00:17:52] And like, oh, it’s so amazing. So, so that, Was really wonderful. And then the final thing that, how can I not say is I started this podcast and yes, I could look at the fact that I wanted to start it years ago and I didn’t. And you know, I’ve only, uh, you know, few, a few dozen episodes in, not even, but I started it and I’m so proud of myself for finally pushing all the excuses out of the way and letting.

[00:18:25] Do this thing that I’ve wanted to do for so long. So, so those would be be my, my greatest wins if, if I am thinking about the greatest lessons, uh, that I am in charge of my own feelings of busyness or bliss. And I hope that you’re recognizing that, uh, especially as you listen to this podcast more and more, um, just, just really recognizing that the more that we allow outside influences to dominate, the more power that we give away.

[00:18:55] time for family is always worthy. You know, as I’m looking at everything, I feel like last year was one of the most incredible years with just good quality, amazing time as a family, but it was not one of my most financially rewarding years. And you know, I can look at that and say, I failed, or I can look at that and say, no.

[00:19:16] If we’re talking about good, better, best, I can always make more money, but I cannot get this time back with them. I have a high school senior. Our family is about to change. She’s going off to college. It’s not going to be us five the way it has been for all of these years, and so I made the better choice even.

[00:19:39] If, if we’re looking strictly at a balance sheet, it, it might look like meh. So just recognizing, you know, time for family is always worthy, worthy, that good, better, best. If I’m choosing those best things, it’s always gonna work out. Gratitude journaling, uh, the power of that, that was a huge lesson. It was part of my 40 for 40 and then I just have not stopped cuz it’s been so.

[00:20:03] Powerful. Uh, the other lesson that was reiterated to me, implementation is everything. Like we can talk, talk, talk, but we’ve got to implement the good ideas that are coming at us. We actually have to do them. We have to try them. That was a big focus. I shifted for all of the books that I read, right. Past years have had a goal of reading a minimum of 50, but there really wasn’t time to implement.

[00:20:28] This time I read way, way fewer books, but I carved out time to implement and that was so, so powerful. , uh, I love this quote from the Dai Lama, and this is where I’ll wrap up. Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. And so those daily disciplines, those daily habits, those actions, implementing the good ideas that we hear, taking action on ’em, like that’s where the power is.

[00:20:55] So there you go. There are my lessons learned from 2022. Thank you so much for listening to this episode and all the other episodes. I’m so, so. This podcast has been such a ride. I’m so excited for next year and just keep giving you more and more and more, and I hope I can deliver so much value. If you do believe I have delivered some value, will you?

[00:21:19] Would it be possible? Would you mind just taking a moment? in whatever platform you’re in right now, go to the review section and leave a five star review. If you happen to be an Apple, it is a little complicated to find. Just click on the main like balancing busy podcast, then start scrolling down until you see the stars, and then there’ll be a little thing that says something like, leave a review, click on that, and then you can just leave like one single.

[00:21:46] If you wouldn’t mind, would you be willing to just take a moment right now and leave a review if that would mean the world? Okay, that wraps up this episode and I will see you next time on the Balancing Busy Podcast.

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