[00:00:00] Leah: This is The Balancing Busy Podcast. I’m Leah Rele, and today I am talking to Zibi Owens. I was introduced to Zibi because we were both speaking at Mom 2.0 Summit and oh my goodness, this woman is doing. So, so much. So when we’re talking about a conversation about how you balance the busy. Wow. Is she, is she balancing a lot?

[00:00:27] So here is her official bio. Zibi Owens is an author, publisher, award-winning podcaster, c e o, and mom of four, founder of Zibi Media, which includes a publishing house, magazine, events, classes, and a book club. Oh, and by the way, there’s retreats in there somewhere too. She is also the owner of. Zibi Bookshop, an independent bookstore in Santa Monica, California, a regular contributor to Good Morning America and other outlets.

[00:00:55] She loves recommending books and is a passionate author advocate, a writer herself. Zibi has published a memoir, bookends a children’s book to anthologies and a zillion essays. Her debut Novel Blank comes out. In March of 2024. So that is like here, by the time you are listening to this, this is so much so of course, what do we wanna talk to her about?

[00:01:20] Um, how does a mom make time to read? How is she balancing all of it? What is she utilizing to organize and to make it all work in her life? And I love one of her answers. I think you’re gonna love it too. So, Let’s jump in and chat with Zibi.

[00:01:45] Zibi Owens, thank you so much for being on the Balancing Busy podcast with me. I’m so excited to have you today. Thank 

[00:02:18] Zibby: you so much for having 

[00:02:19] Leah: me. Of course. Okay, so I have given everybody your bio, but will you just give us a little insight into you? How would, how would you describe yourself? 

[00:02:31] Zibby: I would say I am a podcaster, a publisher.

[00:02:36] An indie bookstore owner and an author. And a mom of four, 

[00:02:42] Leah: I just think it’s so inspiring and amazing. You’re a mom of four who was stay at home mom, you know, doing all the amazing things, raising your kids and. I, I read or heard somewhere you said on a whim I decided to start a podcast.

[00:02:59] Okay. It is not just a podcast these days. I mean, you just said, and I own a bookstore and I have a publishing, and so will you just share a little bit about that adventure as, as one thing led to the next? 

[00:03:12] Zibby: Well, I started the podcast. Because a friend suggested it when I was trying to sell a book of the parenting essays that I had been writing for the previous year or two.

[00:03:23] Anyway, I launched the podcast, didn’t know what I was doing, just got a logo and had a strategy and thought I would start with by interviewing the authors that I knew and go from there and see what happened. And that was in April. The first time, actually, I was, my first episode ever, I read a parenting essay that had gone somewhat viral on HuffPost, called a Mother’s Right to Sanity.

[00:03:45] And after that they were all author interviews and I just fell in love with it. I loved doing the podcast. I loved getting to know authors. I had been a huge reader my whole life and just like. Idolized authors as I still do. I just got back from the LA Times book festival and spent the whole weekend with different authors and I was like, oh my gosh, myself from like eight years ago would just die at the people I’m hanging out with.

[00:04:08] so that’s how it started. And then, You know, I do have a marketing background. I love branding and all of that. And I was like, okay, well how do I take this and make it into something? How do I get listeners? What do I do? And I sort of saw that as a challenge and not any sort of like desperate challenge, but like, I would like to get listeners.

[00:04:25] I’m really loving the interviews. , so one thing I did was I started doing in-person salon events in my apartment. And I invited like everyone I knew to come over and I would pair two authors together and they would hear about the podcast that way. And then eventually people started inviting me to moderate their events at bookstores, which was really nice.

[00:04:40] And I had a couple book fairs, which I realize now are sort of like a precursor to the bookstore, but I got a ton of books and I invited all the authors to sign. And then I invited everybody I knew and it was super fun. And actually now that I’m in the industry, I see that how rare things like this are, but at the time I was just like, well this would be fun.

[00:04:59] Anyway, so I started with all that and then I launched this magazine that has gone through many name changes now at Zibi Mag and I did that.

[00:05:10] I was ready to do that when the pandemic hit. So when the pandemic hit, I decided to up my podcasting, which I had been doing twice a week and move it to daily. And I have been doing it daily since March of 2020. 

[00:05:22] So it’s still seven days a week and that’s why I am entering my. 10th now my 17th season of a hundred episodes, which is really crazy, and then it’s just, it just kept one thing led into the next, we and I did all these author interviews that I had an Instagram live show.

[00:05:39] I started a book club that’s grown to be like thousands of people. I, um, Decided to start a publishing company. That’s a whole long story, but it took a couple years to decide. And then now our books are finally coming out from Zibi books. We started classes, retreats, I decided to open a bookstore, which is in Santa Monica, California, on Montana Avenue.

[00:06:01] So, And then along the way, I did go back to trying to sell the books and eventually I sold my memoir. Then I wrote the whole memoir. Then I sold a novel. Now I’ve written the whole novel and that’s coming out in March. And then I sold two Anth, thought I had two anthologies come out and a children’s book.

[00:06:17] I don’t know, it’s just been crazy. It’s been a lot. It’s been a lot. It 

[00:06:20] Leah: sounds like a lot. So. I don’t even know if you’re gonna have an answer for this. I, I remember seeing you say years ago, I’m a typical mom on a verge of a nervous breakdown, and I’m gonna guess when you said that you didn’t even have anywhere near on your plate that you do today.

[00:06:39] I mean, that is a lot for anyone, let alone. Also juggling motherhood and all of the other things. I mean, this is, this is, yeah. My mind is boggled. So how, how do you feel like you balance it all? 

[00:06:59] Zibby: First of all, I have a great team, so I really have support in a lot of the things I’m doing.

[00:07:06] Some of the divisions like classes or. You know, I, I, I’m just, every so often I’ll say, oh, you should teach a class. And then I introduce them and say, here, I’m passing you off, and that’s all I have to do. And that’s wonderful. I could be doing more to grow it and I probably will be, uh, but. They’re, so I pick and choose.

[00:07:22] I guess that’s the answer. I pick and choose which to things to focus on my energy on, at which times. Um, I spend a lot of time investing in a great team. They’re my biggest asset and my biggest expense, but hopefully it’ll all be worth it. Um, I, oh, how do I time manage? I make sure to. Always drop off and pick up my kids from school.

[00:07:46] Not always, always, like I, obviously I can’t sometimes, but I block that off on my schedule each day and then when the kids come home, they often. Sit at the table with my team. We work in person three days a week. They’ll like do their homework with us and hang out. So, um, I also work from home, which is another way of time.

[00:08:04] Manage my team comes to me. Um, I have someone come in and make us all group lunch so we don’t have to order and figure that out. Um, so I save time on making decisions. I don’t even like pick what I eat anymore. Like that’s cuz that would take so much time. What should I make the kids? So I have help with that, um, which is huge.

[00:08:22] I have all different inboxes, so I’m like, okay, I’m gonna deal with my kids’ stuff now. And I have an email address that people tend to send me that emails about for that.

[00:08:32] , and I’m saying no to a lot more things I’ve. I’ve decided to kind of toss all the stuff related to schools that don’t involve my kids directly.

[00:08:44] So I’m no longer going to PA meetings or I don’t volunteer for anything. I’m not the one who’s bringing in the plates. You know, I feel bad, but I’m not, I just can’t bring in the plates right now. 

[00:08:55] So if it involves my kids, I’m there, but if it doesn’t, I’m not. I think it’s tricky because I love what I’m doing so much. Not every single piece of it. Mm-hmm. But most of it, so right. Reading is like what I do for fun, but it’s also what I do for work.

[00:09:10] So I don’t know. And then every day is different. And every day I’m like, how did I do? And let me see if I can do a better Nick 

[00:09:15] Leah: tomorrow. Oh, uh uh. But that’s what every single one of us are doing, right? So I often say as, as women especially, we can be at all, but we cannot do it all. So, Exactly what you’re saying. You’re being all of these things, but you’ve understood the power of delegation, of letting some of this just be simplified. You know, sometimes we, we have this tendency to overcomplicate, to look for, there’s a problem when we think, okay, what do I need to add when the honest best answer is, what should I subtract?

[00:09:49] And so looking at these decisions, like I don’t want to make the decision for what I make for lunch. I. Do very similar where I eat the same lunch pretty much every day. Same. There’s certain things that it’s like I’m not thinking that through. It is just going to be done cuz I am not going to use my brain capacity to go there.

[00:10:07] . So of course I definitely wanna know, was there a time when you’re like, I love reading. But I don’t have time. And how were you able to start making the time and what’s your advice to women who are listening who are like, oh yeah, I used to read books, and they’re trying to figure out like, how does that even fit in with all the other things?

[00:10:32] Yeah, 

[00:10:33] Zibby: , I always read before bed, so it’s a habit I got into really. Early, I think like as soon as I could read. And so I’ve had, you know, probably almost 40 years straight of reading before bed. So now it’s just something that I feel like I need to do.

[00:10:47] Even if it’s a page, but I’m like, it’s bedtime. I have to let me just open a book. So, , I think one thing is having a time and place where it’s a habit and then you don’t think about whether or not you’re doing it, you just do it. I think I had thought before that reading was such a like indulgence and that it would, it was almost like a lazy thing to do.

[00:11:09] You know, like I’m just gonna sit on the couch and read like, what am I like really? Come on. But it’s not like that. It’s so, it’s like the biggest self-improvement thing you can do is read and it’s something you’re doing that teaches your kid, great habits of, you know, decompressing And the power of literature and connection, um, creates like a lot of empathy.

[00:11:31] And I’m just constantly learning. I was reading a book this morning about granted only like. 40 pages, but still 40 pages about Vietnam and what it was liked, uh, for this class of Amor Asians who were born from soldiers and Vietnam women. And you know what that was, I, I, I had not been in that situation.

[00:11:52] Like I didn’t know much about that particular thing and how there was a whole homecoming act and all of this. And now I know now I have like a peek into a different part of history. So, um, I think reframing it as something that is, This is your self-care, this is your education. This is how your mind stays fit.

[00:12:12] Yes. How you’ll stave off Alzheimer’s. Like I think just, so I guess the answer is reminding yourself of the value of it and the, and the takeaways, and not putting it into like a leisure and entertainment only category. Like this is actually really fundamental and it’s like key to. Our existence is reading, inhaling other people’s stories.

[00:12:36] Leah: Yes. I love that. So I love to read, but I read tons of business and personal development. Right. I am taking in. Three to five different books at all times. It’s like I have an entire council around me just teaching me and, and feeding me these things. But something I realized years and years ago when I was still heavily blogging was that my writing style was very much affected by what I was reading.

[00:13:02] And the more especially I was reading very like, structured corporatey type business books, the more my writing became like I was, I was writing a, a. A book for your, your college class not to enjoy just reading. So I started forcing myself to read fiction and it was funny. I had to do a very similar mindset thing where before I felt like it was indulgent, right?

[00:13:28] Like the business books were very easy to, to justify and make time for. But the fiction, it was like, oh, how can I make time for that? But when I realized that my writing became better as I was. Reading fiction that made a huge difference. But I have to make a confession. I very, very, very, very infrequently actually flip a page on a book.

[00:13:51] I am like listening to everything through audio. So as you were saying, you have your ritual for reading every night before you go to bed. I’m like, yes, I love that. And that’s the power. When we create a ritual around something, it no longer becomes. Where we’re forgetting all the time, right? Oh, good intentions, but it didn’t happen.

[00:14:12] When it’s a habit or a ritual, then it becomes something that becomes part of us and, and we create this identity of like, I’m a reader or, you know, I did the same thing, um, as I started working to become a runner and I really had to shift this, this idea of like, I. I had always seen myself as like, not athletic.

[00:14:31] I don’t run. I mean, in junior high, when I found out you had to run a mile, I learned the symptoms of asthma and we did not have the internet. I had to actually go like, find the encyclopedia, figure this out, and then faked them so that I would not have to run. So what I made this. This decision, like, no, I want to be a runner.

[00:14:48] I think it, it took a lot of work and I think the same thing can happen. Like if someone’s listening, they’re like, I do wanna become a reader. Um, that, that we can create these rituals and these traditions, these habits that actually help us become a reader. And just as you were saying, sitting on the couch reading a book, I’m like, That sounds heavenly.

[00:15:08] I want to like make that part of, of a more frequent part of my life. Like I’m just imagining like a good cup of tea and a book and the couch and I’m like, oh, that sounds like a little slice of heaven that, that all of us moms need a little bit. A little bit more of. . Okay. So I wanna ask you about, um, some book recommendations for us because you, you are our person to ask. So what would be, I have to ask you first, what would be your favorite personal development book? Do you have one? 

[00:15:42] Zibby: It’s from a while back. But I really love The Happiness Project by 

[00:15:47] Leah: Oh, so good.

[00:15:48] Zibby: Yeah. I also really like this book called Joyful by Ingrid Viel. Mm-hmm. Which is how you can find joy in your life by simple things like colors and shapes, and the environment in which you are situated and making changes to the environment can really make changes to your frame of mind. 

[00:16:06] Leah: I love when you have a book that gets you to keep thinking about it, right? Like mm-hmm. You are making choices and you’re going back and being like, Hmm, what? What did I learn that? I love that. Okay. What would be your favorite book to make you laugh? 

[00:16:19] Zibby: I just read a book called The Society of Shame by Jane Roper, and within the first three pages I was laughing so hard, I was crying and I didn’t even know it was supposed to be funny.

[00:16:29] Leah: I would not have thought from that title. It was supposed to be funny, so, yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. What about favorite book to make you think book 

[00:16:39] Zibby: to make you think? Maybe American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins? 

[00:16:41] Leah: Mm, mm-hmm. Yeah. Good one. Okay. Favorite, favorite mystery? 

[00:16:47] Zibby: I hardly ever read 

[00:16:48] Leah: Mysteries. Okay. What, what is your favorite genre?

[00:16:53] Memoirs. Okay. Well, what’s your favorite memoir? Oh my goodness. I know that’s gonna be really hard. Right? Maybe. Maybe a couple. Maybe that’s too hard to narrow down to when, 

[00:17:02] Zibby: Well, the first memoir that I think I read was Danny Shapiro’s Slow Motion. Okay. Which I read like soon after college. And I, it made me fall in love with the genre of memoir to begin with.

[00:17:14] And I’ve just continued to read her writing. So she also wrote another more recent memoir called Inheritance, which I also loved. I loved her book Hourglass. Um, so I really love the way she writes memoir. So I’ll just go with Danny Shapiro. 

[00:17:28] Leah: Okay. All right, perfect. Okay. This one, I don’t know if you’ve ever been asked this one, but what is your favorite book about writing?

[00:17:35] Zibby: Uh, maybe Stephen King on 

[00:17:36] Leah: writing. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Um, oh, that’s amazing. Well, you’re giving us, uh, tons of ideas. So what would be your, your favorite just piece of advice maybe you’ve heard or, or that you have experienced in for yourself of, for any woman who. Wants to just start making a little more time for something.

[00:18:02] Hopefully it’s reading, but whatever it could be. She’s, she’s feeling that go, go, go. And she’s like, you know, there was a time in my life when I did have time to read or fill in the blank. What would you say to her to just start carving out those moments? 

[00:18:20] Zibby: Well, first of all, that it’s worth doing. Mm-hmm.

[00:18:22] But second of all, , there’s a woman, Pamela Morgan Stern. Who wrote a book, I can’t remember the name right now, but she has this whole concept of min max mod and how for everything you have to do, you can assess the effort level you wanna put into it. And this is, I think, perfe per particularly good for perfectionists like me who wanna put a hundred percent effort into everything.

[00:18:43] Yes, but you can’t. So you have to think, okay, for this task, how is this worth a moderate amount of effort, a minimum or a maximum? And then do that effort. So is this birthday party worth doing custom cupcakes and personalized, you know, this and whatever. Or could I just like call the nearest kid party place and say, I want package B and let it be that.

[00:19:07] Um, some things might be worth it, some things might not. But I think picking and choosing and saying, okay, you know what? This isn’t as good as it could be, but it’s good enough. And then move on. Like the fact that I’m doing this good enough is enabling me to do 16 more things and that’s worth it. Or you know, saving time and really putting significant time aside for things that have to be perfect or that are really worth your time.

[00:19:29] Like I just finished this novel and I took three days, like about a month ago, two months ago, and I was like, I’m getting off Instagram. I’m putting on an, you know, do not disturb and I have to just write and it’s worth the time. I have to invest the time. And so I, I had to put my maximum effort, but you know, , just whatever else it is, like, does that need my maximum effort or not? Or can I get by with doing my minimum, which by the way might be somebody else’s maximum. 

[00:19:57] Leah: Mm-hmm. It’s so true. I, I really don’t know how we can function in today’s framework of what parenting and, and motherhood looks like and, and all the other things without that mentality.

[00:20:16] So I love that you shared that. I think it is so powerful to recognize we can’t be a 10. All the time. We need to be okay with, with version seven of us showing up in some of those areas of our life. And, and not only be okay with it, but like embrace it. Mm-hmm. Let go of all the guilt, all the, all the stuff that says, oh my gosh, it would be so much better if I had baked this treat that’s coming to the class.

[00:20:45] No store bot is just fine. I remember making the decision years ago. Um, First of all, I’m not good at baking, so that’s a really solid reason to not try to bake things for anyone. But second, just getting over that and coming up with my own way for me to be able to feel good about it. And so that, I’ll just admit it was me going to very fancy bakeries and I felt good.

[00:21:11] Like it’s still, it’s beautiful. It’s amazing. People are like, Ooh, ah. And. And it took away all the guilt of like that I need to make it. Now. There’s also times where I’ve literally run through the grocery store and been like, this will do. Um, but I do think that’s so beautiful and so important. I, as I’m making decisions, I often put it through this test of good, better, best, because when we’re looking at our time, right, there’s really not.

[00:21:37] Much in your or my life where it’s not good or or better, best. There’s not things we’re doing that are bad, right? Like yeah, that was totally, I shouldn’t even be doing that. We, our time is, is used to capacity all the time. So then when, when you show up and you’re like, well, these are all good things, I start looking at, okay, but what are those better things and what are the best things?

[00:22:00] And then we have to feel. Okay. And accept saying no, just as you were sharing to those things that they are good, but they’re not, they’re not the best thing. Mm-hmm. So I love that so, so much. Oh, thank you for that. Anything that’s coming up for you? I know you have a book coming up, so what can you tell us that’s coming up for you and how, how we can connect with you?

[00:22:24] Zibby: Well, , for my publishing company, we release one book every single month. So our next book comes out May 2nd. It’s called Super Bloom, , by Megan Tady. It’s a debut novel about a spa worker in Vermont, um, who gets a massage client and who’s a romance novelist, and asks her to search. Spy on the other guests so she can use the material for her books.

[00:22:45] Um, so that’s super bloom. That’s coming out next. It’s really good, really funny. Um, I should have listed that, I guess as, as a funny book, but, um, we’ll list it, don’t you worry. We’ll make sure it’s there. We’ll edit. So that’s for Zibi Bug. So we have a bunch of retreats. Our next retreat is in Charleston this coming weekend, and then we have more retreats coming up, so those will be fun.

[00:23:05] Um, so much stuff. , just more of everything, more events, more podcasts. My Judy Bloom podcast came out today. , I have some really great guests coming up on Moms Don’t Have Time to Read books, which is my podcast. And yeah, know. Just stay tuned. Follow me at Zvi Owens and that’ll give you a glimpse of all the random.

[00:23:27] Not random. All the stuff I’m doing. 

[00:23:30] Leah: So much amazing stuff. Well, thank you so, so very much for taking time to be on the Balancing Busy podcast. I think you know, the reason that it’s called this is because our lives are full, they are busy. That is the modern life, and we are talking about how we balance it, right?

[00:23:48] Because. We’re not sitting around being like, what should I do today? Right. So we’re, we’re learning how, how to balance it better together. So thank you, thank you Zi, for being on the podcast and we will link to everything so that people can find you. And I’m, I’m already have that episode downloaded. I started it this morning and I’m excited to finish it.

[00:24:09] So thank you. Thank 

[00:24:10] Zibby: you. Thank you so much for having me.

[00:24:13] Leah: I think my two favorite takeaways, the things that I just wanna reiterate cuz I think they are so good, is number one, Simplifying some of the things, you know, Zibi made this comment, I don’t even make the decision on what I’m going to eat for lunch anymore. There is power in removing some of these day-to-day decisions.

[00:24:36] I’ve talked about this before about, you know, kind of having my, my wardrobe, like there’s a work uniform that I just put on. I don’t have to think much about it. I eat pretty much the exact same thing, at least for weeks at a time. And then I’ll get a little bored and I’ll switch it up, but it just. Allows me to not have to make that decision in a sea of decisions every single day.

[00:24:58] Where can we simplify? The other beautiful thing that she said that I just wanna reiterate cuz I think it’s so powerful, is that we need to prioritize and make that time and realize that it’s valuable, realize that it’s self-care. There is so much power in reading, and this is coming from a girl who. I don’t think I’ve ever said this in a public place, but up until after high school graduation, I don’t know if I had read more than three books in my entire life as, as a 18, 19 year old that is, it’s just not who I was.

[00:25:38] I didn’t think I was good at reading. I didn’t, I didn’t find books that I loved, but. Wow. When I did start to find books that I loved, it opened a world. And now I love reading. And you know, I’ve year after year after year read a minimum of 50 books and, and it is well surpasses that many times. Books open up such a world.

[00:26:00] I also think it makes us more interesting. It gives us more to talk about and to have conversations about. It’s powerful. So this idea of. Not having enough time to do the things that fill our creative cup. When we make it a habit, when we make it a ritual, when we make it a priority, and all of that is gonna happen when we get very clear on why it’s important to us.

[00:26:23] And when we get that why down, then it’s easier to prioritize it. And we stop making reasons why we don’t deserve it. So we gotta find why. It enriches us. Why? It helps us, why it’s so worthy of our time that we’re not going to allow ourselves to miss it, whether that is getting to pick up a book and read it, which I am so excited to sit on a couch and read a book and I’m actually, I, I’ll be going to Mexico in about a month and I have been getting.

[00:26:55] So excited over what books I’m going to bring so I won’t be on a couch. I am going to be sitting by the pool sipping on something delicious, reading those books and I cannot wait. So making that time so that we can fill our cups back up. So, so important and I just love that and I hope that you will take some time over this next week, within the next seven days.

[00:27:22] And just carve out a little sliver for something that brings you joy. Maybe it’ll even be one of the books that Zibi recommended. I’ll have ’em all linked in our show notes so that you can snag those. All right, that’s it for this episode. Thank you so much for being part of Balancing Busy where I help you balance the busy so that you can.

[00:27:44] Have a life that lights you up and do all the things without compromising on your health, your home, or your happiness. I’ll see you next week.

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