[00:00:00] Can we just talk about the fact that the success that we want in our businesses, in our careers financially? So much of it is really around how we set ourselves up before we actually sit down at a desk. Today I’m talking with my amazing friend, Rebecca Ro. Rebecca and I met a few months ago. We were both speaking at the same conference, and I just instantly knew.

[00:00:28] I had to know her. We, we had to connect. We were just, Instantly like yes, she is an amazing seven figure entrepreneur who is killing it in her business. And both of us are personalities. We love talking about business. I mean, it’s our favorite thing to talk about and yet so fascinating is gonna be a how, how this conversation actually ends up taking this focus on how we set ourselves up.

[00:00:55] To begin with before we ever sit down at the desk so that we can have the confidence we need to make the big moves, to have the trust in ourselves that what we’re going after is going to work, can work. That when things don’t work out, we can pick ourselves back up, you know? Being a business owner, it is an emotional rollercoaster.

[00:01:19] Let’s just be so clear. There are highs and there are lows, and when we truly learn how to set ourselves up to. Be more effective, to feel more powerful, to have more confidence. Then we’re gonna get out of the lows faster. We’re gonna stay in the highs longer, and we’re gonna create more of them because we’re in a place that is ready to do it.

[00:01:43] So without anything else, let’s jump in and listen to this conversation.

[00:01:51] Leah: Rebecca, thank you so much for being on the Balancing Busy podcast. I’m so excited for us to have this conversation today. 

[00:02:28] Rebecca: I am so excited to be yours from the moment I sat next to you in your adorable eyelet dress. I was like, oh, I have a new bestie. And I didn’t even know I was gonna see you speak like 30 minutes 

[00:02:37] Leah: later.

[00:02:38] I felt the same way. I was like, oh, we, we are meant to be. I was so excited. Okay, so we have very similar personalities and I wanna just jump right in because a lot of. Women can relate to this. We are both go-getters. We are fiery, we are determined. We have a tendency to say yes to way too many things. You know, we have this attitude of like, oh yeah, you said I can’t, you just watch, watch and see.

[00:03:05] Right? So in thinking about this, our personalities are almost. Non congruent with being balanced, with sitting still. So how do you find that ability to keep the balance when so much of who you are is like, what else can we 

[00:03:30] Rebecca: do? Oh my goodness, this, I love this question. Um, so a couple things come up. Number one is what is our kryptonite is also our superpower.

[00:03:40] Mm. And I think the reason that we, you know, that you and I, again, even though that we just met a couple of months ago, why we both have like pursued this, this ongoing mission of like, how can I be more impactful, more productive, like more present is because it is so challenging for us, but we also are wired in a way that’s like we love a challenge.

[00:04:05] So we are, and, and I don’t know about you, but I, I feel like I’m my own like, best personal improvement project. Like the personal Yes. Development to me. Like people are like, space is infinite. I’m like, I’m infinite, like delving into myself, like understanding myself better. Um, and, and the thing about balance is that whenever I always say, whenever you feel like you’ve got it figured out, especially raising children, I.

[00:04:30] Things are about to 

[00:04:31] Leah: change. Oh, it’s so true. It’s like if you feel like things are going good, watch out Mama. Cuz something is about to rock. So, oh, I’m, I agree with that. Okay, so this idea of, I am infinite, I feel very much that way as well, where I have. I just have this belief that I can do anything, right?

[00:04:53] Like I’m like, why not? Why not me? And it wasn’t always like that. And there are moments when it’s not like that because just like everybody else, there are moments when you think something is going to work, it’s gonna go amazing, and it just doesn’t, and you’re left going, what in the heck happened? Tell me how you pick yourself up from those times.

[00:05:14] Tell me what it feels like for you. When those times happen, like what the reality is, because I do have the moments where I feel the same way, like I am infinite, and I also have the moments where I’m like, I suck. And so I want everyone to know that and kind of see what that looks like and manifests as 

[00:05:33] Rebecca: I think it’s important to, I mean, I wanna use the word cycle, especially, we’re women, right?

[00:05:37] We have, we have hormonal cycles, you know, we have like literal cycles. We have cycles in our, in our. Not only in our physical bodies and our emotional selves. And so these cycles are very normal. And I could tell you, I mean this is, we’re we’re sitting here, it’s middle of July, in March. I had two months that were unbelievably challenging from health.

[00:06:00] I got, I was, I got sick, I got mono pneumonia, strep throat. But even before that I was like, I. Who am I? Like I was going through this kind of identity crisis. Well, things looked really good from the outside and it, it was one of those points, and I’ve, I’ve experienced this in different ways, many times where I’m like, have I peaked, like is the best behind me?

[00:06:22] And that is usually a time that there’s a shift, there’s an evolution that’s about to happen. Mm-hmm. And what it was for me is, is the end of 2022. I had committed to creating more sustainability in my life, more spaciousness, which as a Enneagram seven, as a generator, um, as someone who loves to say, yes, I’m really good at packing in more than most people can, you know, like in a year, like 10 years, how are you doing this?

[00:06:45] Do you sleep? And, you know, and I said, I think you have the same short sleep, G and I do. And I’m like, I don’t sleep as much as most people. Um, but you know, the kinda the moral of the story is, is that. At the end of the year, I committed to that and January and February I was doing all of this work, but I wasn’t seeing the results yet.

[00:07:03] And by March, you know, someone that likes to get fast results, like most people, I’m like, I’ve, you know, spent tens of thousands of dollars. I’m like 90 days in and I am still overwhelmed. I had, I had an employee that left as well and so I was kind of like doing two jobs at once and I was, I was in the thick of it and I.

[00:07:19] Find that those like wall kicking times, those times that we have like the most doubt, two things happen. It’s usually right before we’re about to have a massive expansion. If we lean in and don’t give up. Yes, because it would be totally normal. Be like, you know what? Maybe this isn’t for me. I remember I was like, maybe I should shut my business down.

[00:07:35] I 

[00:07:35] Leah: have a six figure a month 

[00:07:36] Rebecca: business with a team. And I was like, maybe this is just too hard and. What ended up happening is I realized, and this is what usually happens, is in those times we often don’t do the things that actually put us into growth in the first place. So I looked and I was like, you know what?

[00:07:54] I’m not moving my body every day. I’m not necessarily, I’m not doing like the, the practices, which for me are like breath work, um, some journaling, you know, movement. And it doesn’t, you know, it doesn’t have to look like three hours long of stuff. It could be like 40 minutes. Total, but I wasn’t doing the things that always put me energetically and in my mindset in a place where growth and expansion is possible.

[00:08:19] And so I was going into retraction and I wasn’t leaning in and like asking for help and asking for accountability. I was like in that, just that kind of, sorry for myself state. So I always say like, we’re gonna go through that shit. Like it’s gonna happen, but we have to choose like how long are we gonna be in it and we wanna stay there and sulk and mope and woe is me.

[00:08:39] Um, and I’ll say even some of my like dearest friends, who are the people that I should have been reaching out to? Cuz they were like, they were in their high of their cycle, right? They were in like, I’m everything and everything is possible. 

[00:08:51] Leah: And I was sitting here for her going, ah, um, 

[00:08:54] Rebecca: yeah. Oh, guess so. The, the long and short answer is know that if you can stay, if you can, if you can grow through it instead of go through it, there’s something unbelievable on the other side, but also like, what do you need to go back to?

[00:09:08] That has consistently worked for you because often we think we need to do something new, and this is the same in business. We’re like, oh, we need to go do something new because it’s not working. It’s like, actually, we probably got away from the basics. We probably got away from our non-negotiables. 

[00:09:20] Leah: That is so true, and I see that in others as I am working with clients, but I also have felt that in my own life so many times when I really stop and look.

[00:09:31] I’ve gone away from those non-negotiables. I’ve gone away from the things probably that brought me joy, the things that were lighting me up that were inspiring me. So I wanna go back for a second and I wanna go back to this idea of so often when right before we are getting to that corner, it’s gonna feel really hard, really uncomfortable, really uncertain and.

[00:10:01] What would you say for the person who’s maybe there and they’re like, but how do you know when you’re supposed to stop because it really isn’t working, versus when you need to push just a little bit further because truly you are, you are a corner away from turning and seeing and having everything open up and expand 

[00:10:24] Rebecca: for you.

[00:10:26] So I think that one is you’re not gonna solve the problem with the same brain that got you into it, or the same, the same mindset. So you need to like step outside of yourself, which can be very challenging to do, especially if you don’t have a habit of it. Um, and, and really I think that’s stepping into like intuition.

[00:10:43] So for me, what I’m feeling, what, what we’re describing is massive overwhelm, right? Yeah. So you could have like small overwhelm on a daily basis cuz just stuff goes wrong. Or you could have massive overwhelm when, when you’re in a situation that you feel defeated. Yeah, and, and so I’ll just say like, it’s the same antidote.

[00:10:58] It’s just the bigger dose, depending on the bigger problem. But for me it’s like a three step. Um, and I used to call this the action formula, but I think it’s like really the overwhelm antidote is probably what I need to coin it. And, and the number one thing is to literally step away. So for me, that usually looks like, like I need to get out of my office, which is the place that, you know, is making me feel stressed out as I’m looking at emails and my to-do list and all of these things. And it might just be as simple as like going and getting my feet in the grass, or if I’m dealing with a major problem, it’s like I might need a day, a 24 hour day as a mom awake from everything in my life. I need to be out of my house. Cuz yes, well there’s comfort there. There’s also. Routine and there’s commitment and there’s obligation.

[00:11:40] So I’ve like checked myself into a hotel before, or like I, I, I love Carmel is, um, like a little beach area by us about an hour and a half away. Like go down to Carmel, you know, obviously I communicate this to my husband and she ran. Yeah. I’m like, you know, just like peace out. Like, oh, see you two days, honey.

[00:11:56] Um, but it’s just getting out of that situation physically and emotionally. Because you’re just gonna continue to spin. If you 

[00:12:05] Leah: don’t agreed and you’re not thinking your best work you, you’re really not you. You’re no longer at your best. So the more you try to force yourself to stay in it and grind through it because you believe I just need to get to the other side, you’re not as effective.

[00:12:22] So truly stepping away is going to. Get you excited to come back and give you some new ideas and some new thoughts. And if you’re like, I’m not excited, then you need to step away longer. Like you might just need to be further, further away. It’s 

[00:12:39] Rebecca: the reason we’re creative. Like I just got back from vacation.

[00:12:41] It’s the reason we’re creative on vacation, right? Yes. It’s cause we’re out of our normal routine. We’re out of our normal situation. The other thing I’d say is like in that, in that first part is stepping away into nature is always gonna be. More helpful and you know, whether that’s a hike or a walk or whatever that is.

[00:12:56] So that’s number one. Number two is, and this just works for me because usually overwhelm is cuz I feel like there’s a million things that I feel like I’m juggling a million balls and I’m dropping things. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I just like to do a brain dump. Yeah. Like get it all outta my head, close all the browsers, get it onto a piece of paper.

[00:13:12] And then what I do is I look at like, alright, I thought I had 5,000 things going on. There’s actually 50 and. 20 of those are related to the same project or the same problem. And so when you start to kinda clump them into categories, you can start seeing like, actually this isn’t 50 things. There’s like five things that are really bothering right now.

[00:13:33] Um, and then the third thing is like, what is the one area or the one thing that is causing the most overwhelm or what if I finish it will bring me the most relief for joy. Because typically there’s something we’re procrastinating on that needs to just get taken care of. Because even if we’re still in productivity, if that thing is weighing on us, it is like draining us of our energy.

[00:13:58] It is draining us of our joy. It could be the difficult conversation, it could be the letting someone go, like whatever that is. Right? Um, so that’s the, the, the three things that’s, you know, getting out of the situation, getting into nature, doing a brain dump so you can really see like what is actually true here.

[00:14:11] And then number three is like picking and committing to the one thing. That is going to actually get you outta the situation. 

[00:14:17] Leah: I love that. And, and I, I agree completely. We have an episode, I think it’s episode 41, um, how to do a brain dump when your brain is at capacity and mm-hmm.

[00:14:29] I talk through how I use the brain dump coupled with the Eisenhower Matrix to really help me see where I actually should focus and what’s actually going to get me. That what you were saying is that third thing, right? What is the big thing that’s actually going to bring relief and then once we eat the frog, yes, I know.

[00:14:52] Isn’t that I was thinking the same thing. Eat the frog. Once we tackle that, that weight that’s sitting on us is often so relieved. And I frequently with this, I’m looking for. What’s overwhelming me, but sometimes I’m also connecting and recognizing where am I feeling guilt and I don’t look at guilt as a bad thing.

[00:15:14] I look at guilt as a compass often. Guilt is helping me course correct. It’s helping me recognize I am doing something. I’m. Something in my actions is not in alignment with who I really am and how I really see myself. And so, you know, maybe all of this overwhelm is also because I’m, I’m worried about a lot of work stuff, but I’m also thinking about something at home.

[00:15:38] Maybe it’s, you know, I, I have no idea what’s for dinner and I haven’t grocery shopped and I haven’t. And so recognizing, being able to, first, I will often ask myself, what is the simplest way to accomplish this when we’re in overwhelm? Adding 500 extra steps is never going to serve us. So I look for what is the simplest, fastest way I can accomplish this.

[00:16:02] And so as I’m looking at all the things, and maybe I’m recognizing that, uh, we haven’t been having dinner as a family and I’m stressed about that. I have no plan for tonight as well. And so I look at that and I’m like, okay. Run to Instacart, get on Costco, pre-made dinners. We’re going to be having, you know, those kits that they have, there we go next three nights taken care of her, whatever it might look like, where we can find that, that way to simplify and get ease.

[00:16:28] So 

[00:16:29] Rebecca: what do you need to do to create space? Oh 

[00:16:31] Leah: yes, absolutely. So as we’re looking at trying to spend more time in those feelings of. I can do it. I am capable. And less time In those feelings of doubt and fear and insecurity, what are your biggest things that you do that bring you into feeling that, that sense of empowerment?

[00:16:58] Rebecca: So I think when we’re in that overwhelm, you know, doing that first thing we talked about, that thing that’s gonna move us forward, that creates momentum. Yes. Sometimes there are times, I mean, I look back like when I was a kid and you know, I like to keep my room clean, but occasionally if I didn’t take care of things, like it would pile up.

[00:17:13] Like sometimes we need to do a cleanup. But you do do a cleanup. Yeah. And that, that’s gonna be just like digging in, like getting stuff taken care of. Um, and then what I like to do, so a couple of things to like stay in that positive place is, Well, actually there’s two that I can really think of is, number one is like rebuilding the confidence in yourself and it’s actually self-trust, right?

[00:17:34] Because usually when we’re overwhelmed, we have lost trust in ourself. Either we haven’t kept our word to ourselves or, and sometimes the word isn’t like, oh, I’ve let other people down. It might be I let myself down. I didn’t prioritize myself. Or whatever it is. So, well, what can I do? Like you said, that’s small to repri reprioritize that, to start to shift that mindset of, of who I am.

[00:17:56] I, I was really off, like I said, my workout schedule for, for long enough that it started to change my identity. Like maybe I’m not a person that moves daily. Yeah. And then the starting is challenging. And so I was like, you know what, what can I do? Like, it doesn’t have to be perfect. So I had downloaded the Sweat app, it’s like a, an an old school, like the BBG app.

[00:18:17] And while I was on vacation, I just was like, I’m gonna commit every day to do this, ideally, like before I have a gelato. Um, and today I was, I think today was my 12th or 13th day in a row. And some days are, are, are recovery and stretching. But I was like, what do I need to do to like just rebuild that promise to myself so that I believe in myself and, and it doesn’t have to be related to the area you’re struggling because you 

[00:18:40] Leah: can leverage that.

[00:18:40] I agree. And I think that’s important to notice, right? I think a lot of times the area we’re struggling is where we keep focusing, but we can start building up strength within us around almost fortifying ourselves with other things, right? Oh, I am a person who. Serves others who works out, who pays attention to what I’m grateful for, who, whatever it is, but these other things, and I, and I don’t think we can underestimate the power of personal development in the form of getting into a great podcast episode, getting into a great book or a great YouTube video that fires you up, that gets you feeling like, oh yeah, there is goodness, there is potential, there is power and.

[00:19:24] I can harness that. I am powerful myself. So I think those can be really helpful too. Well look at 

[00:19:30] Rebecca: what you’re consuming in every way. And so again, I, I just got back. For vacation on Monday or Sunday, Saturday night. And so I was like, okay, how do I feel so good about my week knowing I’m gonna be going into like a ton of emails, right?

[00:19:43] I’m gonna feel behind, right? I’m gonna feel behind and I know that’s gonna happen, so what can I do? And I was like, all right, well the first thing is deleting Netflix and Amazon Prime off of my phone. So I’m not, because you know, vacation, I’m like, I can watch something in bed at night. Like I don’t care about my, my good habits.

[00:19:57] As much. Yep. It’s like, okay, like let’s, let’s make sure that we’re doing the positive thing. Let’s wake up and listen to the podcast or the audio book. You know, let’s, whatever I need that is going to support me feeling the way that I want to feel. And it’s usually if we ask it, if we ask ourselves that, instead of saying what is good or bad?

[00:20:14] Because I know like I will rebel against what I feel obligated to do. But if I say, what would support how I wanna feel tomorrow, what does that look like? It comes from a less. Personally bossy or judgmental place. Mm-hmm. It’s more of like, how do I set myself up for success? Um, the other thing, and this has been something that I just have really started to adopt in the last couple of months, um, when I started to understand my human design is not agreeing to things that involve time or money for 24 hours, because as a generator asked someone that I’m like, no, I, I intuitively I wanna do it.

[00:20:48] Well, yeah, I’m a seven. I need ultimate, you know, I need ultimate freedom. I need ultimate possibility. But I often create the overwhelm because I’ve said yes to everything. Mm-hmm. And that doesn’t always work for me. That doesn’t work for my family. So about 60 days ago, I adopted this new rule where if it’s anything that involves an hour, more or more of time, really any time or $500 or more, I will just say, let me get back to you on that.

[00:21:14] Let me get back to you. And that has created so much spaciousness cuz it gives me the time to create, it gives me the discernment. To decide, is this really for me or am I doing this because I call it like my, my absolute heck no reasons, which are, it’s a good idea because I can, or because I should if I’m not called to something.

[00:21:34] You know, if you think about this in a shopping way, it’s like if I go to Nordstrom Rack and I load up the cart, I’m gonna leave everything I want at the front on like layaway or whatever you call it, and decide how much do I really want it. Is it worth going back 24 hours later? Yeah. So doing that same thing.

[00:21:49] Yes. And that creates a discernment. So we’re not packing our schedules, we’re not packing our lives with things that sound like a good idea in the moment, but ultimately don’t create the spaciousness for who we want to be, which is also what we want to do. 

[00:22:04] Leah: I think one of the biggest things I’m hearing over and over is embracing and making your motivations.

[00:22:11] Space spaciousness right in, in every area. And when we make our motivation spaciousness, then whether it’s a people pleaser tendency or it is, uh, fear of missing out or it is whatever it is that might get us into trouble, we’re going to be able to better be equipped to. Check in with ourselves and say, wait, but is this going to create more spaciousness in my life?

[00:22:40] And really balance, we’re all going to always be busy, right? Like there’s no there. There are a lot of things in our lives, so there’s. Not too often that we don’t feel really busy, but what we’re wanting is more spaciousness, more white space between the things, between all, all those, those balls that we’re juggling or hats that we’re wearing.

[00:23:03] And so I just love this idea of like, embrace white space, embrace the spaciousness, embrace giving yourself permission. 

[00:23:14] Rebecca: Well, it’s the healthiest thing if you think about like if, if our goal is making more money, Right. That is something that, I mean, it’s, we always wanna make money. We always wanna create impact, right?

[00:23:22] We want abundance. But that’s a very dangerous goal because Yeah, it’s a nonstop treadmill. Yes. But when you look at more spaciousness, I, I just was on a call with a client and she has, um, a, a son that has, is, um, um, has developmental challenges. And so she’s like, she was told when, when her son was born, she’s like that by their doctor.

[00:23:43] You will never reach like your professional kind of. Full potential because of your child. She’s like, I have four hours a day. That is my time. She can’t outwork her problems. So she’s like, how can I create so much discernment, so much spaciousness, that I can have my time, have my work time, and be able to support my son?

[00:24:04] You know? And I think what, especially moms like, we can all understand even with yes. 

[00:24:09] Leah: Totally. There’s never enough of us to go around. 

[00:24:11] Rebecca: There’s never enough of us. Yeah. So if you look at how can I create more spaciousness for myself, the people that actually need me, not where I produce a need of me. Mm-hmm.

[00:24:23] Which there is, that is a total difference because it’s really easy to create need to produce need, and to actually deprioritize the people and things that truly need us the most. Mm. 

[00:24:35] Leah: Yes. So good. This conversation has been so amazing. Oh, I love you. Thank you so much for being Of course, for being on the podcast and with me.

[00:24:47] Um, I’m so excited for this to get shared. Uh, any last thoughts that you would wanna leave and tell everybody how they can connect with you? Yes. 

[00:24:57] Rebecca: I, I think just giving yourself permission that you’re an evolving human being. Mm-hmm. Right? And, and that the more that we. Our open and welcome evolution and yes, I mean, going back to like what works, but that is gonna change.

[00:25:12] I think that’s so important is like, how am I evolving? How, who do I want to become? And, and you know, I love the fact that like, we’ve been talking for 30 minutes, we haven’t talked about business, which I’m obsessed with. We haven’t talked about visibility. We both aren’t. But, but you know, like this morning when I got up and, and did my workout and listened to my podcast and did breathwork in the sauna and all of those things, I do all of those things before I get into my business because whatever your priorities are, yes, you being right with you in whatever that looks like, having that time to feel spaciousness, to feel inspired, motivated, whatever those things are that you desire to feel and live before you get into the do, do, do.

[00:25:49] Cuz the do, do, do will never go away, right? But when we focus on how can we be more of who we want to be, that solves the problems before we even create them. And how, how you can find me. I mean, social media, um, Rebecca Karo, and then, you know, for those of you out there that are, that are business owners or, um, you know, I mean female CEOs I have, which we didn’t talk about pr, but I have some pitch templates.

[00:26:15] If you are, if you have a mission and you want to get more visibility to that mission to. Being able to share your message. I mean, like you do on every single podcast episode, you know, share value. I’ve got some great pitch pitch templates for podcasts, and I’m about to launch season five of my podcast, which I you were gonna be on.

[00:26:32] Um, but yeah, download the pitch templates at Rebecca Karo and it also, if you wanna speak or you want to just, just get more visibility. And I think everyone deserves the visibility of putting the megaphone or the microphone to their message and, you know, putting a spotlight on their 

[00:26:45] Leah: brilliance. Mm, agreed.

[00:26:47] And it’s. Her, her templates she’s talking about are amazing. We’ll make sure we have them in the show notes so that you can click over and and peek at everything cuz it’s so good. Oh, Rebecca, thank you so much. Thank 

[00:27:00] Rebecca: you.

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